It’s one of the most predictable moments in any social gathering, second only to death and taxes: the dreaded, “And what do you do?” It comes quickly, often with the intensity of a high-stakes interrogation, leaving you scrambling for a response that doesn’t sound as dry and insipid as a fortune cookie.
This question is more than just an icebreaker—it’s an opportunity to demonstrate your communication prowess, connect, and keep the conversation alive. So, how do you answer this seemingly innocent query without resorting to clichés or leaving your listener pondering the meaning of your job title? Let’s break down a few defensive moves to keep you in the conversational driver’s seat.
When asked the inevitable, “And what do you do,” you may thin,k “I’m an economist/an educator/an engineer.” this gives enough information to engender good conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or engineer, you might as well be saying, “I’m a paleontologist/psychoanalyst/pornographer.” Flesh it out. Throw some delicious facts about your job for new acquaintances to munch on. Otherwise, they’ll soon excuse themselves, preferring the snacks at the cheese tray.
Technique #16 – Never the Naked Job
Don’t Give a Short-Answer Death Blow
When someone asks, “And what do you do?” the temptation to provide a short response is real. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that brevity is the best way to keep the conversation moving. However, offering a mere job title like “I’m an architect” or “I’m a dentist” leaves your listener with little to grasp. In many cases, the listener may not even know what your profession entails, especially if your job title doesn’t directly relate to their field of expertise.
Think about it: If you meet someone who works in the creative arts and you tell them you’re an actuary, for example, they might be thinking, “What’s an actuary?” They might ask for clarification, but they’ll feel uncomfortable inquiring. They could even be too embarrassed to ask further and lose interest in the conversation.
Instead of succumbing to the default, one-liner response, take a moment to add some context. Provide a mini-explanation or an interesting tidbit that helps the listener better understand what you do. This doesn’t mean launching into an elaborate monologue about your job but offering just enough detail to pique their interest and help them engage with you on a deeper level.
For instance, let’s say you’re a software developer. Simply stating, “I’m a software developer,” might leave the other person wondering about the specifics of your work. Instead, you could elaborate: “I’m a software developer specializing in building mobile apps for the healthcare industry. I’m working on an app that helps patients with chronic conditions track their symptoms and medication schedules more easily.” This explanation adds layers of meaning, clarifying what you do and why your work matters. The listener is more likely to relate to the healthcare concept, which could spark a follow-up question or a story of their own. Now, the conversation is alive and active instead of flat and awkward.
Avoiding the short-answer death blow allows the other person to engage with you. They can now ask follow-up questions, share experiences, or simply show interest in your field. You’ve opened the door for a deeper, more engaging conversation instead of offering a half-hearted, one-word response that cuts the connection short.
Give a Little Story, Not a Resume
The key to answering “And what do you do?” is to move beyond a dry list of duties or a sterile job title. People don’t connect with resumes—they connect with stories. Think about how often you’ve been captivated by someone’s story, whether it’s a personal anecdote or an account of a particularly memorable experience in their work. People are naturally drawn to narratives because stories engage the intellect and the emotions.
Let’s consider how to turn a job description into a compelling story. Imagine you’re an accountant. Saying, “I’m an accountant,” may not do much to spark curiosity, but telling a story will. You might say, “I’m an accountant, and rinowtno,w I’m working with a non-profit to help them streamline their finances so they can maximize the impact of their donations. Last month, we uncovered an error in their books that saved them thousands of dollars, which they’re now using to fund an education program for underprivileged children.” This narrative not only explains what you do, but it also provides an emotionally engaging detail: the fact that your work led to a positive outcome that directly benefited others.
When you share stories like these, it’s easier for the listener to imagine what your job entails. A story brings your role to life in a way that a simple job title cannot. It also allows the listener to emotionally invest in what you do. They can relate to the human element, whether helping others, solving problems, or making a difference in someone’s life. Now, you’ve gone from stating your job title to sharing a snapshot of your professional journey that has meaning and context.
The power of storytelling lies in its ability to make what you do feel tangible and relatable. Instead of just reciting your job description, you offer a window into the impact and significance of your work. This makes it easier for others to connect with you and keeps the conversation flowing, rather than leaving your counterpart wondering how your work could be relevant to them.
Avoid the “Naked Job” Flash
The “naked job” flash occurs when you introduce yourself with a job title but offer no additional context, leaving the listener feeling uncomfortable and uncertain about how to proceed. If you say, “I’m a nuclear scientist,” most people won’t know what to say next unless you explain what that means. If the listener doesn’t understand your profession, they may either nod politely or look for a way to change the subject—both of which kill the conversation.
The problem with a “naked job” title is that it offers little to no clarity. Titles like “nuclear scientist” or “industrial engineer” are specialized, and while they may impress those familiar with your field, they often leave outsiders floundering. Without context, these job titles can seem more like jargon, creating a barrier between you and the listener.
To avoid this, always provide context when introducing your job title. Instead of saying, “I’m a nuclear scientist,” explain what that involves. You could say, “I’m a nuclear scientist, and I’m currently working on making nuclear power plants more efficient and safer by researching new materials that can withstand extreme conditions.” This gives the listener a clearer picture of your role and may also spark their curiosity. The listener now has something concrete to latch onto, whether it’s the concept of energy, innovation, or safety.
By providing context, you’re explaining what you do and helping the other person understand its relevance. The clearer and more relatable you make your job, the more likely the conversation will continue smoothly. This ensures the discussion doesn’t come to a screeching halt because of confusion or awkwardness.
Offer a Mouth-to-Ear Resuscitation
When asked, “What do you do?” you’re often expected to provide an answer that helps the listener relate to your profession in some way. If your job involves something they don’t know about or can’t easily understand, you must offer them a way into the conversation. This is where the concept of “mouth-to-ear resuscitation” comes in: you need to provide enough context and detail so that the listener can engage with your answer rather than feel out of their depth.
Imagine being told, “I teach Tibetan Buddhism at Truckee Meadows Community College,” without further explanation. If you’re unfamiliar with either Tibetan Buddhism or the community college, you might struggle to know how to respond. You might smile and nod, but internally, you’re wondering how to continue the conversation.
Instead, the person could say, “I teach Tibetan Buddhism at Truckee Meadows Community College. We explore the spiritual teachings and how they can help people reduce stress and improve mental clarity in their everyday lives.” Suddenly, the listener can see the connection between Tibetan Buddhism and something relatable—stress management. Now, the listener can ask questions like, “What part of Tibetan Buddhism focuses on mental clarity?” or “How can these teachings be applied to modern life?” In this way, the conversation becomes more accessible, engaging, and interactive.
By offering a little more detail, you help your listener understand the value of what you do. You give them something to relate to and provide them with the tools they need to participate in the conversation. This mouth-to-ear resuscitation isn’t just about explaining your job in a way that makes sense—it’s about ensuring the listener has enough information to engage meaningfully with you.
Give Them Something to Munch On
When someone asks you what you do, it’s not just a formality—it’s an opportunity to engage them in a deeper conversation. If you respond with a dry job title, you risk losing their attention and stagnating the conversation. On the other hand, if you give them something to “munch on,” you’re offering them a piece of your professional world that they can connect with, think about, and possibly ask more questions about.
This doesn’t mean you have to give away every detail of your job immediately, but you should aim to provide enough context and meaning so the listener finds your work interesting. If you’re a chef, for instance, instead of just saying, “I’m a chef,” try adding, “I’m a chef, and right now, I’m working at a farm-to-table restaurant where we focus on seasonal dishes that support local farmers. It’s amazing how ingredients change with the seasons, and I love seeing how fresh produce can transform a dish.” Now, you’ve given your listener something tangible to latch onto: seasonal ingredients, local farming, and the transformation of food. This isn’t just a job—it’s a passion, and it invites further conversation.
The key is to give your listeners a bite-sized piece of your professional world that they can chew on. Finding something that resonates makes them more likely to keep the conversation going. You’ve made your profession not just a title but a relatable, intriguing subject that they can engage with. You’ve offered them something to think about and continue talking about. That’s how you keep the conversation alive and thriving.
Conclusion: Never the Naked Job in Action
Ultimately, the next time you’re faced with the inevitable “And what do you do?” instead of offering a sterile job title, take the opportunity to breathe life into the conversation. Flesh out your response with a little context, a story, or an example that explains what you do and invites your listener into your world. By doing so, you don’t just share a job title—you create a connection, engage your conversation partner, and leave the door open for a meaningful discussion.
Remember, people connect with stories; a job title alone is rarely enough to spark a lasting conversation. Offering relatable, engaging insights into your role ensures the conversation doesn’t fizzle out. It keeps the energy flowing, helps others relate to your experiences, and opens the door for shared understanding. So, the next time someone asks you, “What do you do?” don’t just say it—show it. Make your answer something worth hearing, and watch the conversation thrive.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.