We’ve all heard, “I can’t go to the party; I haven’t got anything to wear.” It’s a familiar refrain that has somehow become part of our social fabric. But how often do you hear someone say, “I can’t go to the party, I haven’t got a thing to say”? Yet, having a great conversation can be just as important—if not more so—in many ways than wearing the perfect outfit.
There’s a clear mental checklist when you’re gearing up for a social event, whether it’s a casual gathering or a business mixer. You think about your clothes, shoes, accessories, and, of course, your hair. You may even pack your business cards, just in case. But do you prepare for the most vital part of the evening—the conversation? Many people get so wrapped up in their appearance that they overlook the power of what they’ll say once they arrive.
You wouldn’t pull the first item of clothing that your hand touches in the dark closet, right? So why should you leave your conversation to chance, based on whatever random thoughts pop into your head when faced with a group of eager faces? Sure, you’ll follow your instincts, but a little preparation can help you come across as more polished, engaging, and memorable.
The Latest News… Don’t Leave Home Without It
The last move to make before leaving for the party— even after you’ve given yourself final approval in the mirror—is to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is also a defensive move that rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody’s talking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very tasty in public, especially when surrounded by egg-on-face.
Technique #23 – The Latest News . . . Don’t Leave Home Without It
In today’s world, the news cycle never stops. Events unfold in real time, and new information becomes available at lightning speed. This constant stream of updates means that if you want to stay relevant in any social setting, being aware of what’s happening worldwide is crucial. Whether it’s breaking news on international conflicts, significant cultural shifts, or shocking celebrity moments, the news provides endless conversation fodder. These topics resonate across social circles, allowing you to engage with just about anyone.
Consider the variety of situations where staying informed could work in your favor. At a business conference, for example, discussing the latest financial developments or political changes can quickly elevate your standing as someone who is not just knowledgeable about their field but also well-versed in the broader world. Meanwhile, the latest viral trend or global event may be the perfect way to spark a lively conversation at a dinner party or casual gathering. Even if you don’t have a strong opinion, acknowledging current events shows you’re engaged and thoughtful about what’s happening worldwide.
It’s essential to note that staying informed doesn’t mean you must delve into every aspect of the news. A few minutes of reading or listening to a reputable news outlet is often enough to give you a strong foundation of topics to discuss. Whether you tune into a podcast during your commute, skim a few articles on your lunch break, or catch up on social media, this preparation ensures you’re not caught flat-footed when the conversation turns to a subject you’re unfamiliar with. The key is balance—staying current without feeling overwhelmed by the volume of information. Knowing enough to hold a confident conversation makes you more engaging in any room.
The Secret to Successful Conversations: Preparation
To many, the conversation might seem like an art form that comes naturally with little forethought. However, successful conversationalists understand that preparation is key. The most compelling people can effortlessly weave different topics into a conversation, making it feel organic and engaging. These people aren’t just winging it—they’ve cultivated the ability to read their audience and adjust their conversational style accordingly.
Preparation is about more than just having a list of topics to bring up. It’s about understanding the dynamics of the conversation you’re entering. Who are you talking to? What are their interests, and how can you connect with them? It’s also about gauging the mood of the room. If you’re in a professional setting, diving into business-related matters or industry trends might make sense. Lighthearted topics such as travel, hobbies, or recent entertainment might be more appropriate in a more social or relaxed environment. This requires a level of social awareness and emotional intelligence. Knowing when to shift gears, change the topic, or even step back and listen is just as crucial as having interesting things to say.
Preparation can also extend to your mindset. If you’ve ever been in a conversation and found yourself struggling for words, you know how much anxiety it can cause. The key to preventing this from happening is having topics to discuss and cultivating a mindset of curiosity. Great conversationalists are usually great listeners, and their curiosity drives them to learn more about the people they interact with. When you approach conversations with an open mind and a desire to learn, your engagement will feel natural and meaningful rather than forced or rehearsed.
A Lesson from Sidney Biddle Barrows: The Power of Being Informed
Sidney Biddle Barrows, better known as the “Mayflower Madam,” was an unlikely source of valuable insights into the power of conversation. As a businesswoman who ran one of the most successful operations, she understood how to win over clients. What’s surprising to many is that she didn’t just focus on the physical aspect of her work—she understood that maintaining engaging, intelligent conversations was just as vital. To ensure that her employees were equipped to engage with clients, Sidney instituted a rule requiring them to stay informed about current events. This wasn’t just a frivolous request; it was a business strategy aimed at improving the quality of interactions.
The results were nothing short of remarkable. According to Sidney, her employees spent a significant portion of their time attending to clients’ needs and engaging in conversation—60 percent of their workday was spent chatting. This focus on conversation was no accident. Sidney recognized that her clients weren’t just paying for a service but seeking companionship and intellectual stimulation. She ensured her employees were knowledgeable about the latest news and could provide this in-demand service.
The feedback was overwhelmingly positive. Clients began to report that they enjoyed their time because of the service they received and because the women they interacted with were fascinating conversationalists. This resulted in repeat business, positive word-of-mouth, and an expansion of operations. The power of being well-informed and its impact on Sidney’s business demonstrate just how important preparation and knowledge are in any field, especially when it comes to creating lasting impressions through conversation.
Sidney’s strategy also demonstrates a fundamental truth: knowledge is power. People are naturally drawn to those with interesting things to say, and having a wide range of knowledge at your disposal makes you an asset in any conversation. Whether you’re in a business meeting, a social gathering, or even a casual coffee shop conversation, being informed allows you to contribute to the dialogue in a meaningful way. It’s not about showing off your intelligence; it’s about connecting with others on a deeper level, sharing ideas, and engaging in stimulating conversations.
Your Defensive Move Against the “Foot-in-Mouth” Moment
We’ve all experienced the horror of a foot-in-mouth moment: realizing what you just said was completely off the mark. Maybe you asked about a topic that had already been discussed at length, or perhaps you made a comment that was out of place, given the context. These moments are cringe-worthy and are the situations you want to avoid. As mentioned earlier, staying informed helps you sidestep these awkward blunders by ensuring you don’t inadvertently comment on something outdated or irrelevant.
For example, imagine conversing about the latest tech innovations only to ask a question about a recent development that has long since passed its prime. Not only will you be met with awkward silence, but you risk appearing uninformed, which could undermine your credibility. This is a classic foot-in-mouth moment, and it can easily be avoided with just a bit of preparation.
By staying current on current events, you’re automatically eliminating the chances of falling into such a trap. You’ll always have something relevant to say because you’re in the loop. Additionally, you’ll have the confidence to ask insightful questions that help move the conversation forward. This makes you an active participant rather than someone who’s just trying to keep up.
By reading up on current events, you also reduce the likelihood of talking over someone or steering the conversation in a direction irrelevant to the group. You’ll know when to listen when to contribute, and when to ask for clarification. The result? You’ll avoid those awkward, foot-in-mouth moments and become someone people want to engage with.
A Quick Checklist for Always Having Something to Say
- Catch Up on the News: A quick, daily scan of news articles is a must. Whether through an app, a newspaper, or a news podcast, this habit keeps you up-to-date on what’s happening in the world. You don’t need to memorize every detail, but knowing the big stories ensures you’ll always have something relevant to talk about.
- Stay Curious: Explore different subjects and interests to cultivate curiosity. It’s easy to get stuck in a bubble, only discussing topics you’re comfortable with. Make a conscious effort to branch out by reading books, attending lectures, or engaging with content outside your usual routine. This broadens your perspective and makes you more engaging in any conversation.
- Adapt to Your Audience: Tailor your topics to the people you’re talking to. At a business event, steer conversations toward industry trends or relevant innovations. Consider discussing shared interests like travel, hobbies, or entertainment with friends. Understanding your audience’s interests makes your conversation more personal and engaging.
- Ask Thoughtful Questions: A good conversation is as much about asking questions as it is about offering opinions. Show genuine interest in what others are saying by asking thoughtful follow-up questions. This will make the conversation flow and encourage the other person to share more.
- Practice Active Listening: Active listening is a critical skill in conversation. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about truly understanding what the other person is saying and responding meaningfully. By focusing on the speaker, asking questions, and offering your insights, you turn a simple conversation into an enriching exchange of ideas.
By following this checklist, you can ensure that you’re always prepared for any conversation. Whether attending a social event, a business gathering, or a casual get-together, you’ll know how to engage, contribute, and leave a positive impression. Preparation and staying informed are key to becoming a more effective and engaging conversationalist.
Conclusion
Becoming a great conversationalist isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about being prepared, informed, and genuinely interested in others. By staying updated on current events, cultivating curiosity, and adapting your conversation to your audience, you can navigate any social situation with ease and confidence. Remember, conversation is an art; like any skill, it improves with intentional practice. So, the next time you prepare for an event, don’t just focus on your outfit—take a few moments to mentally equip yourself with the knowledge and conversational tools to leave a lasting impression.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.