I wish I had put in some serious effort. I achieved this result without putting in any effort. Just imagine! Such statements have been a regular theme in my life. They make me feel good about myself while covering for the meager effort I put into my projects.
I often brag about completing my engineering bachelor’s degree without studying a lot. Without studying I had a CGPA of 7; imagine the result if I had studied as I should have. Without much preparation, I spoke on the stage for 30 minutes and delivered an excellent talk. Imagine how brilliant the talk would have been if I had rehearsed it.
There are so many situations where I make similar claims. This habit had grown so much that I had become cocky and overconfident. People don’t like this behavior, but I was in my world, oblivious to reality. More importantly, these statements hid the fact that I did not want to put in the effort for several reasons.
I discovered this inauthenticity in the most unlikely manner, but it was a major turning point for me. I had set myself a challenge to read 100 books in 2019. I was reading the complete collection of Sherlock Holmes. In one of the stories, the readers are introduced to Sherlock’s brother, Mycroft Holmes.
Mycroft is an interesting man. Sherlock admits that Mycroft is smarter and a better detective than himself, having helped the famous detective numerous times. However, he doesn’t put in the effort to find out if his deductions are correct or not. If he did, he would be even more formidable than Sherlock.
I can’t describe to you the extent to which Mycroft relates to me. He can be the best, just as I do, but he doesn’t put in the effort, just as I don’t. As a result, neither he nor I can live up to our full potential. Sherlock Holmes, the less capable one, is going out there and achieving greatness.
Knowing about Mycroft, I realized that not putting in the required effort is a part of my personality. It’s not something I could have done if I wanted to. Knowing this about myself is important. Now I know I am not putting in effort because I don’t want to do so in the first place. Now I understand that the results I achieved in the past were the best I could have at the time and going forward, I will also achieve the results according to my efforts or a lack thereof.
More importantly, I can work on this aspect of my life or, at the very least, keep it in mind when working on future projects. That’s liberating beyond relief. As Maya Angelou says:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
I originally wrote this piece in 2019 but never posted it. I would revisit it from time to time because it is a side of me that I need to address. This false confidence is perilous because we don’t even realize it is a problem. This is one incredible example from my life that I use to remind myself that self-awareness is important.
Interestingly, my sister and I are like Sherlock and Mycroft. We are smart and intelligent people (we both know I am smarter though! ), but she is more hardworking than I am. She puts in so much effort with her projects and is highly focused. I am more laid back and chilled out about things. I don’t see that as a problem that needs to be fixed and I doubt I would be successful if I tried to fix it. Instead, I understand it’s how I work and plan around it.
For example, when I have to do an assignment, I know I won’t spend a lot of time on it, so I have to be smart with my approach and try to find the easiest/shortest way to get it done. It’s just the 80/20 rule at work. 20% of the work is helping me get the essence of things and is getting 80% of the job done. I can fill in the gaps if I feel another iteration is needed. I have used this approach repeatedly because it works for me.”Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”