There is no better teacher than life. We keep encountering the same situation repeatedly if we keep behaving the same way. It is not until we learn the lesson we are supposed to learn from the experience that things improve and change for the better. We stand in our way.
Our everyday experiences shape the person we become. They impact our beliefs, attitudes and behavior. Your experiences are the same because we respond to similar situations similarly. Humans can change behavior and the capacity for conscious thought that enables them to go against their nature.
Amazingly, we humans can do so if you think about it. It is not easy to do so but it is possible. The biggest challenge is that we fail to recognize a problem and admit that something needs to change. We are used to doing things a certain way and resist the call to try something different. We get so attached to the smallest notions in our heads and find it so hard to let go of them. As a result, we turn a blind eye to new ideas because they contradict our beliefs.
It takes something huge, a traumatic experience, a life-altering event or an emotionally charged experience to make us reconsider our notions and beliefs. In his autobiography, Will, legendary Hollywood actor Will Smith writes, “The biggest lessons we ever learn, we have to learn despite ourselves.” The biggest obstacle to success in our lives is ourselves. We stand in our way because it is hard to break the patterns we have relied on our entire lives.
The most common examples of this phenomenon happen when as a kid, our parents try to tell us something, but we don’t listen because we just don’t know any better. It is only later in life that we realize the lessons we learned all those years ago. I am looking for a job these days, so I work a lot on writing my resume and cover letter. There are all sorts of tips and advice regarding applying for jobs. I find myself getting attached to certain ideas that I have about presenting myself. I have to actively stop myself and consciously make decisions to try different things. It’s such a small thing, but even so, I get in my way.
These days, I have been looking for a job. I always look for a full-time job. For months, I never searched for part-time work so I can earn some money in the meantime. I didn’t even consider it as an option. I have no idea why I held on to this notion so tightly. I will never work part-time at a restaurant, bar, library or store, I used to tell myself. It took me six months to realize that instead of holding onto whatever misguided beliefs I had about working part-time, I should see it as an opportunity or something I needed to experience.
I guess that having a comfortable childhood, I never felt the need or urgency to consider the option. Now that I am living in a foreign country without income, I realize the need to offset some of the expenditure plus the fact that it could be good practice for someone who wants to work in a different cultural setting. Now, I am looking for part-time work as well and I am excited about the day I get to go to work.
I have more examples such as this in my life than I care to count or have the ability to share with you. I know that life will find a way to teach me the lessons I need to learn to succeed despite anything I might do. I am not using this as an excuse to procrastinate or think that everything will take care of itself. I am sharing this with you today because I want us to think about how we interpret certain events in our lives. Are we missing some crucial lessons when we find ourselves stuck in a situation over and over again? Think about such situations in your lives and see what you might be missing.
If there is one thing to take away from this, it is to consciously choose to try new things and consider new ideas. It reminds you and me not to be immediately dismissive of things but to think critically and deeply whenever the opportunities present themselves.