It feels weird coming from someone whom you probably have never met. It felt strange when someone said to me “You are awesome, just believe in yourself” at a seminar I attended. This is because people don’t use this word as a compliment, especially for people they don’t know well. Think about the last time you called someone you know an awesome person. Chances are you and I don’t receive a lot of compliments.
Think how many times you have thought to yourself, “Hmm… I am doing well in life. I am great.” Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought about how admirable you are? Do you ever wonder to yourself, “Hey! I am extraordinary.” I would venture a guess and say the answer is not that high of a number. Most of the time, the answer is “Okay!”
You can call or text anyone you know, and I mean anyone. Ask people how they are doing and what’s happening in their lives. They will most likely reply with, “I am good. Nothing much!” This less-than-enthusiastic response often makes me wonder what we are trying to accomplish in this world and what it will prove to anyone.
The Good Life
In life, there are only some moments few and far between for which we are genuinely excited. These may include moments such as when you clear a vital exam, secure admissions, get jobs & promotions, get married, have kids, or maybe buy a house/car. If all this is happening in your life, you should be pretty happy about it. It’s a big deal, and it’s a good life.
Ask yourself, is this all you want to achieve in your life, or is there something more you want to do? Maybe you wanted to be an artist or a writer. You want to eradicate poverty, end world hunger, or champion illiteracy. You put your passion on hold because life happened. You had to earn a livelihood and provide for your family.
The Sobering Reality
Besides the few things I mentioned above, life pretty much sucks. I am not a pessimist, but that’s how life is for almost everyone. It’s a lot of struggle for a few moments of happiness. We have to deal with a lot of shit that life throws at us. A loved one passes away, someone close to you gets a deadly disease, financial losses, or physical/mental abuse. Unfortunately, the list is too long, and only one of the things is enough to bring down your euphoria if you manage to develop one.
On top of everything else, you must deal with other people and their judgments, taunts, unsolicited opinions, and free advice. These things chip away at us daily and must be factored in when making important decisions. Then, suppose you are lucky to be alive right now. In that case, you might experience a world-halting pandemic that adds insult to injury.
The circumstances surrounding us and what we think about ourselves causes us to doubt our capabilities. It alters our view of what is possible and what we can achieve in a given scenario. This self-doubt originates from multiple sources, such as our society, traditions, and even our mind. It can make us feel as if we are somehow broken from within.
I wanted to play cricket professionally. It was my aspiration growing up. I asked my parents and coaches what it would take to play for India. Cricketers play hard, work for hours every day, and, most importantly, are fit. Millions of people in this country are trying to do the same, so the chances are slimmer than slim. I took all that in and evaluated my situation. Was I capable of playing cricket professionally? No. Was I willing to make an effort and find out? Also no!
A similar sequence of events and arguments were laid out for becoming an actor. So even that aspiration never saw the light of day. There was an added requirement of being handsome which I don’t believe I met even as a kid. If there was one bright spot in this childish wish, my parents were supportive like crazy and still are the same. They said I had to put in the work even though the chances weren’t great.
In 2018, I wanted to start my digital marketing venture. I quit my job and started working freelance. I was having regular discussions with my mentor, and it was quickly apparent that there was a severe self-doubt issue at play. I was concerned about my lack of knowledge and experience and that I failed to deliver any results. I feel obligated to point out that I have not pitched to a single client or taken a project. I tried to pre-empt any mistakes, so I thought I was on the right track. Eventually, I landed four clients and made successful pitches and social media plans for them. But I thought I wasn’t ready for a business, so I shut it down and landed another job.
In numerous such moments, I felt decidedly not great, awesome, or even okay. It made me feel like something was wrong with me, like something within me was broken.
A Call to Believe
I have spent a lot of time feeling overwhelmed, powerless and helpless. Nothing in my life was going right at the moment. I felt stuck and unable to do anything about it. Something was wrong, and I needed to correct it. Underneath this depression-like feeling, I believed the one thing I knew about myself to be true. It was instilled in me by my parents and the teachers around me.
I grew up believing that I was destined for great things. I have the potential to go places and do wonders. For me, the problem has always been making an effort. I jokingly refer to myself as being “effortlessly intelligent.” I knew that whatever was going on at the time, my destiny was better than that. I believe that this is true not only for me but for you as well. We forget this about ourselves when we are down in the dumps for whatever reason.
In the last two years, I dedicated all my time to explore the depths of human potential and how we can realize our true potential. I have found that each of us has what it takes to be the person we are meant to become. No problem, challenge, or obstacle can stand in the way of that.
In her book Everything is Figureoutable, Marie Forleo writes:
“Despite what society, family, or mind may have led you to believe; you are not broken. Nothing is intrinsically wrong with you. You’re not a mistake, a fraud, or a fake. You are not weak or incapable.”
This sentence reminded me of something I heard during my time at Landmark. The leaders there used to say something along similar lines. They said, “There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not broken. You are complete, whole as perfect just the way you are.”
It’s hard to believe it, and I didn’t comprehend it at the time either, but it’s true. When things don’t go right, we tend to blame ourselves, take it personally, and doubt our abilities. We want to be the best versions of ourselves, but we don’t always know how. Sadly, humans don’t come with a manual, or we would have instant answers. But I do have the first step, and it’s pretty simply elementary:
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
I believe that I am meant to do great things in life. It’s my guiding principle. I am an awesome person, and so are you. The key to bringing anything into existence is believing it is possible. People around the globe have dedicated time to finding Bigfoot because they think it exists. The same could be said about alien life. The same can be said about anyone from Hitler to Mother Teresa and Gandhi to Mandela.
I have often heard Gary Vaynerchuk say that the odds of us existing in this shape and form now are astronomical; they are 1 in 43 trillion. We owe it to ourselves to live a happy life and be the best versions of ourselves possible.
You don’t know how powerful you are and don’t see how awesome you can be. You need only believe in yourself. Believe in your abilities, your greatness, and your uniqueness. If you believe anything is possible, you can overcome almost any challenge. If you want to change the world, you must think you can. Don’t take my word for it; you can see it happen all around you if you look carefully.
The truth is we don’t acknowledge ourselves enough. If you were to list every tough thing you managed to do, you would realize your true power. Give credit to others for their accomplishments, but please don’t take your successes for granted. Even if you finished school without flunking any subject once, that’s a big deal. Just because everyone does it doesn’t make it less unique for you.
I did this activity once where we had to acknowledge ourselves for 50 things for which we were proud. I call this list my self-fives. To me, acknowledging myself is like a self-five. I picked up this from the famous American sitcom How I Met Your Mother. In the series, the legen-wait-for-it-dary character Barney Stinson high-fives the group members for something he considers awesome. However, he often has to make do with a self-five when others aren’t impressed with his antics and leave him hanging, waiting for someone to acknowledge him. He sure doesn’t let anything keep him down.
Here’s my list:
- I am an excellent public speaker
- Good communication skills
- I am very friendly
- I am very approachable
- I am good at math
- I am a good writer
- I am a good dancer
- I try new activities
- I am very good at giving advice when asked for
- I love my family a lot
- I respect people
- I can motivate people very well
- I am an avid reader
- I am a very helpful person
- I am sociable
- I am humble
- I accept my mistakes and flaws, especially if they are pointed out to me.
- I am an excellent public speaker
- I am a hard-working person
- I give excellent advice
- I lost 15 kgs in 3 months last year
- I am good at making strategies
- I make excellent conversations
- I tried an improv group which was a new and fantastic experience
- I learn new words every day
- I have joined a gym and also
- I taught 8 hours of classes in one day as a visiting faculty in a college
- I performed in open mic nights multiple times
- I initiate conversations with people comfortably
- My head is full of unique ideas
- I publish a blog almost every day
- I sang on a karaoke night in front of my friends and a lot of other people
- I have read 70 books in 2019 and will surely reach my target of 100 books this year
- I recognize the value of seeking help when needed
- I am a responsible elder brother to my wonderful sister
- I tell excellent stories
- I don’t smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol
- I traveled to the United States alone when I was 11 and again when I was 18.
- I completed an engineering degree without flunking once
- I provided support and mentoring in my communication skills group
- I completed my Landmark Forum and Advanced Courses powerfully
- Like my father, I am a strong family support pillar.
- I take care of the entire house when my parents are not around
- I helped out as much as I could during a school friend’s wedding recently
- I have successfully cracked all five interviews I have had in my professional life
- Being a writer, I still work hard on improving my English, especially my grammar
- I have all my medical records, report cards, and similar documents from the beginning
- I am loyal and trustworthy and value the people around me immensely
- I get up again every time I fall and don’t quit
- I completed this list of acknowledgments, and I acknowledge myself.
Make a list for yourself, find out how awesome you are, and believe there is much more you can accomplish because you are worth it.