At various points in life, we come across people who seem to have everything figured out and cracked the code to success. It could be someone you knew in your neighborhood, school, college, or office. Look into your life and go back into your past; you will know what I mean.
Looking at these people, you can’t help but feel a bit jealous or in awe of them. They seem to be thriving while you are struggling, just surviving. These people seem to be the center of attention in most places while you are on the periphery or outside, not even noticeable. I had such people in my life and still do. There is one thing I learned recently that I wish I had known growing up: No one has everything figured out, everyone has their issues, and everyone always has a bit of growing up to do.
In school, there was a guy he was, Mr. Popular, personable, an all-rounder in both academics and sports, and made Head Boy, the whole nine yards. If we were in the US, he would be the prom king. I joined the school recently and was your quintessential kid in the corner, barely noticeable. I didn’t speak to him much during my time there, but whenever I did, it was a pleasant conversation. I will admit it, he seemed to have everything figured out, and what I wouldn’t have given to be in his shoes.
I didn’t know him outside of school, so that’s the extent of my knowledge about him. Therein lies the problem. I didn’t know what he or my friends were going through. High school wasn’t the most glorious time, but it was still quite good. I still had a lot growing up, and my personality wasn’t what it is now.
What we see with these people is usually what we think is missing from our life. We only see the image presented to us in the brief time we spend in a given setting. We don’t know who the person is, their story, and their ambitions. They appear perfect, but we have no idea what they think about their lives. In reality, even they don’t have everything figured out for themselves.
This realization dawned on me while watching a British TV series set in a high school. A character in the show is uncannily similar to the person described above. This character appears to have everything going for them. He is dating the most popular girl in school, has good grades, and makes a name for himself as a swimmer and the head boy. By all aspects, he is an elite royalty at school. But he isn’t entirely happy; his parents fight, he suffers from anxiety issues, and he feels pressured due to a strict, jampacked training regimen that doesn’t allow him time for other things he enjoys doing. At one point, he deliberately injures himself to avoid training.
He appears perfect for all intents and purposes but clearly has stuff he needs to figure out for himself. The journey he takes in subsequent episodes to find alternative activities and figure out what he enjoys is beautiful to watch. It made me think about how I wished I was a bit more like someone else.
No matter how perfect or invincible someone seems on the outside, all of us go through our journey of self-discovery. Everyone has their insecurities which they deal with to grow into a better person. Everyone is struggling with something or the other. It doesn’t help to look at someone and think that we are missing something in our life. In such situations, we usually see people who are strong in areas where we may need work. We forget that we have our areas where we do great. We cannot control this because we usually take our strengths for granted and work on overcoming our challenges.
They recognize that we have our core competencies and strengths can help us get out of the mindset where we compare ourselves with others and feel bad about it. For all we know, they are in the same situation, looking at someone else and thinking they have a challenge they are also dealing with.
It is liberating to know that everyone is in the same boat and you are not alone. Now, I focus on myself and what I must do to face my challenges instead of wishing I had a perfect life. When I meet people who seem to have everything figured out, the only thing that crosses my mind is, “Good for you, buddy!” and I move on with my life.