José Mourinho is one of the most celebrated names in European football. The list of his accolades is unending. His tactical knowledge, charisma, and controversial personality set him apart. Though he wasn’t a very talented player by his admission, there is no doubt that he is one of the most special coaches in the game of football. He is one of my favorite managers because of his knowledge of the game and his no-nonsense attitude. I grew up as a fan of Sir Alex Ferguson, but anyone who comes close to him is Mourinho, one of the modern greats.
You don’t win big things with nice guys. I wouldn’t say I like to go to the press; I don’t like press conferences. It’s a part of my job. Maybe it’s better to be politically correct and tell people what they want to hear, but that’s not me at all.
A Coach’s Rules for Life #1: Understand Your Audience
You are born loving a club; you will die loving the same club. But sometimes you are not in love with your team. You don’t change your club.
The relationship between a club and its fans is like a marriage. It lasts a lifetime, but it’s not sunshine and rainbows all the time. In Porto, people feel a significant connection with the club if the club represents the values of the people.
They demand spirit and sacrifice. In Portugal, they say you sweat the shirt. You give everything.
People will form a connection with you based on whether or not you reflect their values. People will fall in love with you and want to be associated with you if you understand what makes them tick and show them that you are committed to their cause. In leadership, people will follow you if you have passion, spirit, desire to win, healthy aggression towards your goals, and a sense of unselfishness.
Anyone who has these qualities and understands the pulse of their audience can navigate themselves out of rough patches and even galvanize everyone else towards success in both personal and professional life.
A Coach’s Rules for Life #2: If you are prepared for the worst, you are prepared
In the 2003-04 season, FC Porto qualified for the UEFA Champions League. At the time, Manchester United was the best team in Europe, and FC Porto were the underdogs. Mourinho recalls watching the draw for the knockout stages with the rest of the group. As the interest progressed, he created an atmosphere where he told his players that he wanted to play Manchester United repeatedly. Slowly, the players started to come around. When the time came. As luck would have it, FC Porto was matched up with Manchester United.
Upon hearing the announcement, the players jumped at the prospect of playing the best team. They were mentally prepared for the worst-case scenario and even excited about it. When the draw was happening, they were prepared to face any other team because they were prepared for the toughest possible matchup. Mourinho explains that when you are ready for the worst, you are prepared for anything.
If we get Manchester United in the draw, that would be good. If we get any other opponent, that’s just better.
When we stop seeing the worst scenario as an unfortunate or wrong event, we can elevate our mindset and stop thinking of it as a problem that needs to be overcome. In doing this, we prepare to deal with the situation just like we would with anything else, without putting extra pressure on ourselves.
A Coach’s Rules for Life #3: The Underdog Attack
FC Porto beat Manchester United at home, which was written as a case of David beating Goliath. Now, they were to go to Manchester for the second leg, where they were the underdogs. At half-time, Manchester United was leading 1-0.
You need to find the right moment to be aggressive. Sometimes, you feel the big stadium is changing. You feel the noise; it is different. If they (Manchester United) need to score, the stadium will cheer loudly to push them to score. When that result is good for them, but they are a little scared, the stadium would be silent. Manchester United was in that period of silence, which told me they are more defensive than offensive. There are signs around the stadium that indicate the mood and strategy of the opposition (I found this section of the episode to be fascinating, something you should see for yourself). When you see that happening, that’s when you start applying pressure and attack. You can run away and hide, or you can attack the opposition. When the opportunities present themselves, you must believe you can beat the best European team. We need to face this moment of fear with lots of courage.
Rather than drawing insights from what I saw, I have presented Mourinho’s actual words from the episode. There’s a lot to be gleaned from this portion of the episode, depending on your life experience and where you choose to apply this lesson, so I leave it up to you.
A Coach’s Rules for Life #4: Some Rules are Meant to Be Broken
There’s a lot to unpack here. When Mourinho was the coach of Chelsea, he was suspended for two matches in the quarterfinals of the UEFA Champions League against Bayern Munich. He could not be at the bench or in the tunnel. He knew that the players needed him for this critical fixture.
He decided to reach the stadium earlier than anyone on matchday and hid in the dressing room. He planned to leave after the stadium emptied so no one would know. During the match, no one could find him in the stands, and he wasn’t seen on any television cameras. The authorities looked for him in the dressing room. He was risking his career, so he hid in a metallic laundry basket when someone entered the room.
The basket was locked and removed to the laundry room with him still inside. He was stuck in the basket for no more than 10 minutes but felt as if it was hours. He went against the rules even though he was not proud of it because his players needed him.
We won the game, but it’s not about that. I am not proud of what I did in that game in that dressing room because I went against the rules. But I am proud of it as a leader. I am proud of it as a players’ friend. It did for my boys. You would do anything for your family, even break the rules.
You may have an opinion about breaking the rules depending on your point of view. I try to follow the rules as best as I can. Their value lies in their ability to guide us in certain situations. Still, I don’t think any established rules can account for the diverse group of people and their unique situations. I have found that following rules to the letter can limit your ability to be effective as a leader. Rules make sense so long as they don’t defy common sense. I feel breaking the rules is justified if not done so for personal benefit and especially if it’s done for a cause greater than yourself. That’s the lesson I am drawing from this anecdote.
A Coach’s Rules for Life #5: The Train Doesn’t Stop Twice
In football, most coaches leave their clubs because they are sacked. That’s the nature of football, it’s cruel, but that’s football. Managers come and go faster than ever. The average manager hardly lasts a year. It’s very important to leave the club of your own volition.
Mourinho believes that opportunities don’t come around twice. After two successful seasons at Inter Milan, Mourinho led the team to victory in the Champions League in the 2009-10 season. During the tournament, he received an offer from Real Madrid. The next day, he accepted the job in Madrid. Even though he is a very emotional person, he knew what needed to be done. He didn’t go back to Milan, didn’t go back on the bus with the players, and decided to move on.
I believe there is a lesson here about the importance of being pragmatic when making decisions. You have to have a vision for your personal and professional life. If the opportunity to move to bigger and better things presents itself, ask yourself if you have accomplished what you set out to do at the current level in your life. If the answer is yes, then make the decision you know you should make without any doubt or fear of judgment in your mind.
A Coach’s Rules for Life #6: Don’t Coach the Player, Coach the Team
If you are not able to coach the big players, you are not able to coach anyone. You will not teach them how to play football; you will teach them how to play football on that team.
In personal and professional life, we will often have the opportunity to lead teams, manage people, mentor them and coach them. Often they will be new people learning the skill or the craft, and you handle them one way. But many times, coaching and mentoring highly skilled people boils down to helping them navigate specific situations. Management and leadership often involve bringing people together as a team and achieving stellar results.
The players must understand the game because I cannot make decisions for them during it. They are guided, and they discover the way. It’s not like I tell them now you turn left, and now you turn right. The best players on a team are exceptional talents, but without the team, they cannot express everything they have. It’s all about the team.
A leader marshals resources and finds the best solution to the problem. They find the best way to utilize their resources and ensure that their best people understand their roles in the larger scheme of things. With highly skilled people, you don’t have to teach them the skill; you have to teach them how to use what they have in this scenario to get the best results for everyone involved.
Football is a bit of everything. It’s an art, but football is also heart. It is about winning. I made mistakes, and maybe some people don’t agree with my opinions, but it’s not about that. For me, the concept of a team is one of the most beautiful things. What we have as a part of teams everywhere through the times is the camaraderie and togetherness even today. The trophies we won along the way stay in football’s history. There is a human side to football – team, brotherhood, family, these things last forever.
As I finished watching this episode, I felt amazed at the stories I heard. I noticed the detailed insight Mourinho gained from what he saw during the Manchester United game and the things leaders do to make sure they can help their teams. Before I bring you the next episode with Patrick Mouratoglou, there is a lot to reflect on from this episode which is worth a rewatch.