On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself? What’s your self-worth? (Leave your honest answer in the comments below) Whenever somebody asks me this question, my answer is a 7/10. Here’s why: seven is a safe answer. It’s the perfect answer.

Why Do We Rate Ourselves 7 Out of 10?

Seven (and not 5) is the sweet spot in the middle of everything. It is not a one or a two that indicates self-loathing, nor is it the 9 or 10 telling people you consider yourself a pretty, proud, and perfect snowflake. It means the other person that you are likable enough with some scope for improvement.

Giving yourself a 7/10 is also a safe answer in the dating and professional worlds. It’s the answer that people across from you expect to hear. It says that you are attractive enough/have your strengths, and know that you can be difficult at times/have weaknesses you need to overcome. But it is problematic if you value yourself at a 7/10. The truth is, it’s a bullshit answer given thoughtlessly without any consideration whatsoever.

I realized this when I sat with a friend at Khan Market’s coffee shop. We discussed my professional plans after college when he asked me to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10. I meekly responded with a 7/10.

Then, he asked me what self-worth score I would have given myself at age 5. My answer was 10/10. Children are carefree, uninhibited, and without self-doubt. They can do anything and become anyone, be they sanitation workers or an astronaut. They know how to have fun. They don’t understand failure and don’t question their abilities.

After we have grown up, we become familiar with failures and rejections. We start caring about others’ opinions of ourselves. We measure our self-worth according to how we think others see us. We want to live up to expectations defined by others around us. It doesn’t help that we are harsher on ourselves for failures and don’t give ourselves nearly enough credit when we succeed at something.

Going From a 10 to a 7

He asked me if my parents would share that opinion and if their scores had changed. Parents love their children and believe they are capable of great things. My parents have always maintained that I am a perfect 10. They did when I was five and still encourage me to live up to my full potential. It is effortless to question my abilities and self-worth. I waste a lot of time trying to escape that train of thought. Growing up, our parents’ faith in our worth doesn’t waver, but we begin to doubt ourselves somewhere along the journey. We start as a ten but eventually make ourselves a measly 7.

Self Worth: Once a 10, Always a 10

Setting lofty goals and believing you can do anything you want is good. It doesn’t mean that you have to succeed at everything. Failure is a universal occupational hazard; it happens to everyone. You will face judgment and criticism for trying something, and more so if you fail. It’s okay! Don’t be too harsh on yourself, and give yourself a break. Cut the poor thing some slack!

Believe in yourself because you are great just the way you are. You are not a loser because someone said so, and you are not lame. On a scale of 1 to 10, you are worth every number and everything. We want everyone to like us and believe we are a 10/10. We must first think of ourselves to be a 10/10.