In seeking serenity, understanding the boundaries of our control versus what lies beyond it is pivotal. The ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus offers timeless wisdom on achieving happiness through surrendering what is not within our control and focusing solely on what we can influence.

This philosophy is not merely theoretical; it provides a practical framework for daily life. By embracing this approach, we can navigate the complexities of existence with greater ease and clarity.

This article explores a structured daily routine inspired by Epictetus’s teachings, guiding you through each phase of the day with reflections designed to foster serenity and acceptance.

“Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God and Fortune.”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.4.39

Morning: Embracing Control

As dawn breaks, it’s vital to distinguish between what you can control and what you cannot. This early morning reflection sets the tone for your day and reinforces the importance of focusing on your sphere of influence. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, allowing the stillness of the morning to help clarify your thoughts.

Visualize the elements of your day ahead and identify the aspects your actions and decisions directly impact. This could include your responses to situations, approach to tasks, and how you interact with others. Recognize that while you can make choices and set intentions, the outcome of external events remains beyond your control. For example, you cannot dictate how others will behave or unforeseen circumstances will unfold, but you can choose how you respond to them.

By framing your day with this awareness, you create a mental framework prioritizing what you can influence. This mindset reduces the potential for frustration and allows you to channel your energy more effectively. It’s not about ignoring external factors but rather about focusing your efforts where they will be most productive. This practice fosters a sense of empowerment and cultivates resilience against the stressors that arise from trying to control the uncontrollable.

Midday: The Power of Choice

As the day progresses and the sun reaches its peak, it’s essential to revisit the core of your personal sovereignty: the power of choice. This reflection should center on the realization that while external factors may be unpredictable, the ability to choose your actions and reactions remains steadfastly within your grasp.

Consider the decisions you make throughout the day—whether they involve your approach to work, your interactions with colleagues, or how you manage stress. Each choice you make, no matter how small, shapes your day and, ultimately, your life. This awareness reinforces that your autonomy is inviolable; no external force can strip away your ability to decide how you act and respond.

Embrace this power as a source of strength. By understanding that your responses to situations are within your control, you confidently empower yourself to navigate through challenges. This realization can transform how you handle difficult circumstances, allowing you to respond with reason and judgment rather than impulsively. Acknowledge the intrinsic value of this power and leverage it to make decisions that align with your values and goals.

Afternoon: Accepting Fate

In the afternoon, shift your focus to accepting fate and the broader forces at play in your life. By mid-afternoon, it’s crucial to recognize that, despite your best efforts, some aspects of your life are governed by external factors that you cannot control. These include elements such as the actions of others, market fluctuations, or natural events.

Visualize your life as a journey through a constantly changing landscape. While you steer your course, you are also subject to the currents of the larger environment. Embrace the reality that fate, luck, and external circumstances influence the trajectory of your journey. This acceptance is not about resignation but about understanding the limits of your influence and adapting to the realities of the world.

By acknowledging the role of fate, you cultivate a sense of peace with the uncertainties and surprises that arise. This perspective allows you to focus on the choices you can control while accepting that not everything is within your grasp. It’s about finding harmony between action and acceptance, where you remain proactive within your domain while gracefully navigating life’s aspects beyond your control.

Evening: Reaffirming Boundaries

As evening approaches and you reflect on the day’s events, it’s important to reassess where your control begins and ends. Take a moment to review the day’s challenges and victories, considering which were shaped by your decisions and influenced by factors beyond your control. This evening contemplation helps to clarify the boundaries of your influence and prepares you to let go of any frustrations.

Reflect on situations where you felt overwhelmed or stressed. Ask yourself whether these feelings stemmed from attempting to control what was beyond your reach. By recognizing these moments, you can gain insights into where your focus may have been misaligned. Reaffirm your commitment to directing your energy towards areas where your choices have a meaningful impact.

This practice helps release any residual tension and prepares you to face the next day with a refreshed perspective. By understanding the limits of your control, you can more effectively plan your actions and set realistic expectations. This evening ritual reinforces your ability to maintain clarity and focus, ensuring you approach each day with a balanced and centered mindset.

Night: The Serenity of Surrender

As night falls and you prepare for sleep, consider the act of surrender inherent in letting go of consciousness. Sleep represents a natural and necessary surrender, a trust in the body’s ability to rest and rejuvenate. Embrace this nightly ritual as a symbolic act of releasing control and allowing yourself to be restored.

Reflect on how effortlessly sleep comes when you relinquish the day’s concerns. This ease of surrender reminds you of the peace that comes from accepting what is beyond your control. As you settle into bed, let go of any lingering thoughts about the day’s events and trust in the process of rest.

Prepare yourself to begin the cycle anew with a sense of tranquility. Recognize that sleep is a form of renewal that prepares you for the next day’s challenges. By embracing this nightly surrender, you reinforce the practice of focusing on what is within your control and letting go of what is not. This cycle of reflection and acceptance helps to cultivate a sense of serenity that endures through the waking hours and into the night.

Daily Stoic Meditation: Where is the Path to Serenity?

One of the tenets of Stoic philosophy is determining what we can and cannot control. If we focus only on what we can control and not obsess over things that are out of our hands, we can live al life without any regrets.

While our circumstances may not always be in our control, how we respond to them can make all the difference in the world. We are in control of our choices at all times, ultimately determining our character.

I like Maya Angelou’s quotes: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” and “Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.”

Both quotes emphasize the importance of making efforts and accepting what is beyond our control as a given. When you change your perspective on control and choice, you become calmer because you no longer worry about things you can do nothing about.

Fortune or luck plays a huge role in how things happen. Not everything you do will turn out how you want them to, but you can adapt by making choices and controlling what you can control.

Conclusion

By integrating these practices into your daily routine, you align with the profound wisdom of Epictetus, cultivating a life of serenity and purpose. Each moment of reflection—from the morning acknowledgment of your control to the evening reassessment of your boundaries—helps reinforce the essential balance between action and acceptance.

Embracing this cyclical process enhances your capacity to handle life’s uncertainties and deepens your understanding of what truly lies within your influence. As you continue this practice, you will find yourself more adept at maintaining inner peace, regardless of the external circumstances that unfold.

This article is a part of The Daily Stoic Meditations Series based on Ryan Holiday’s book.