Understanding the boundaries of our control versus what lies beyond them is pivotal in seeking serenity. The ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus offers timeless wisdom on achieving happiness through surrendering what is not within our control and focusing solely on what we can influence.
This philosophy is not merely theoretical; it provides a practical framework for daily life. By embracing this approach, we can navigate the complexities of existence with greater ease and clarity. This article explores a structured daily routine inspired by Epictetus’s teachings, guiding you through each phase of the day with reflections designed to foster serenity and acceptance.
“Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God and Fortune.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.4.39
The Morning Reflection: Recognize What You Can Control
At the break of dawn, the world is often still and quiet, offering a rare moment of peace before the noise and busyness of the day begin. In these moments, as the light of day first peeks over the horizon, we are called to reconnect with a powerful truth: control is a finite resource. The world’s chaos, the unpredictability of the future, and the actions of others are all beyond our control. Yet, in this moment of stillness, we can center ourselves by reminding ourselves of what we can control.
Epictetus urges us to focus on what is within our sphere of influence and to release the impulse to grasp control over everything else. This is a critical distinction, as we often spend much of our lives trying to manipulate events and people, hoping to create outcomes that align with our desires. Yet, this pursuit is futile and ultimately exhausting. Instead, we must focus on the only domain where we have absolute power: our thoughts, judgments, and actions.
By starting the day with this clear understanding, we put ourselves on a path to greater peace. We acknowledge that we cannot control the weather, the economy, or the decisions of others. But what we can control is how we choose to respond. The thoughts we entertain, the words we speak, and the actions we take are ours to direct. By recognizing this from the first moment of the day, we intend to focus only on what is within our grasp, releasing the need to control everything else.
This recognition practice is not a one-time event but a constant return to mindfulness throughout the day. The morning sets the tone, and by reaffirming our control over our inner world, we empower ourselves to move through the day with clarity and purpose.
Midday Check-In: The Power of Choice
As the day unfolds, the pace quickens. By lunchtime, we often find ourselves caught in the rush of tasks, demands, and distractions. It can be easy to forget the lesson from the morning and slip into the mindset of trying to control everything — the outcomes of meetings, the reactions of others, and the trajectory of our goals. But at this moment, when the weight of the day might be starting to feel overwhelming, we must remind ourselves of one fundamental truth: our true power lies in our ability to make choices.
When faced with the complexities of the afternoon, it’s crucial to pause and center ourselves again. Everything that happens may not be within our control, but our choices are. We decide how to interpret the events of the day, how to respond to challenges, and how to interact with others. Amid external chaos, this is where we regain our agency.
You are responsible for what you focus on, how you allocate your energy, and how you react to obstacles. It’s easy to believe that we must control external circumstances to feel at peace, but in reality, our response to those circumstances determines our sense of serenity. The power of choice is about making big decisions and choosing your mindset, attitude, and emotional responses in every small moment.
During your midday, take a moment to reflect on your choices so far. Are they aligned with your values? Are you taking the steps necessary to live according to your true priorities? This is your opportunity to recalibrate. Even if things feel out of control, you can still choose how you show up to each situation. Your decisions are the only things truly within your control, and they are what shape your day.
Afternoon Realization: Surrender to the Flow of Life
As the afternoon stretches on, the complexity of life becomes even more apparent. Despite our best efforts to control our environment, the larger forces of fate, time, and circumstance remain dominant. Here, the Stoic wisdom of surrender begins to settle in. Life is like a river that moves forward with or without us, and while we can choose our path along the shore, we cannot stop the current or dictate where it will carry us.
This realization can be uncomfortable, especially when deeply invested in outcomes. But Stoicism’s essence is in recognizing and surrendering to life’s natural flow. We are often caught up in the belief that if we just try hard enough, we can make life unfold exactly the way we want it. However, this is an illusion that only leads to frustration.
At this point in the day, take a moment to acknowledge that while you have control over your choices, many things lie outside of your grasp. The actions of others, the economic forces at play, the randomness of events — all of these things will shape your life, often in unpredictable ways. This is not a message of helplessness but one of acceptance. You cannot control the world, but you can control your response to it.
Surrendering to life’s flow is not about giving up. It’s about finding peace in recognizing that you cannot control everything. By letting go of the need to control the uncontrollable, you free yourself to focus your energy on what truly matters: your inner world and your choices. The sooner we accept that we cannot manipulate every aspect of life, the sooner we stop fighting against reality and begin to find peace in its unpredictability.
Evening Reflection: Return to What Matters
As the day winds down, the world’s noise fades away, and the quiet of the evening brings with it a natural space for reflection. This is the moment to pause and ask yourself: How did I navigate the day? What choices did I make that were aligned with my values? What moments did I let slip by where I attempted to control the uncontrollable?
The evening offers a perfect time to return to what truly matters — what is within your control. You cannot change the day’s events or undo mistakes, but you can assess how well you handled what was within your sphere of influence. Reflection is not about self-criticism but about growth. It’s about identifying areas where you remained true to your choices and areas where you may have been swayed by things outside of your control.
Take stock of your reactions. Did you react with patience in the face of adversity? Did you choose wisdom over frustration? In what areas of your life are you holding onto things that aren’t yours to hold? This moment of reflection allows you to refine your understanding of control and surrender.
As you reflect on the day’s events, use this opportunity to reestablish your boundaries. Identify where your choices began and where external forces took over. Remind yourself that your power is found in your choices, not in the results of those choices. In the evening, focus on releasing tension, recognizing that the world will continue spinning regardless of your actions. All you can control is your inner state and response to life’s unfolding drama.
The Cycle of Surrender: The Restorative Power of Sleep
Finally, as the day ends and you prepare for sleep, there is a profound opportunity for surrender and trust. Sleep is perhaps the most tangible form of surrender in our daily lives. It is a moment where we let go completely, trusting in the natural rhythm of our bodies to restore and rejuvenate us. We release our hold on control for hours and allow our minds and bodies to rest.
Sleep is not just a physical rest; it’s a mental and emotional one. When you fall asleep, you trust that your body will heal, your mind will rejuvenate, and you will be ready to face the next day with fresh eyes. This act of surrender — of letting go of conscious control — is symbolic of a deeper truth: we do not need to control everything to experience peace. Sometimes, we must simply allow ourselves to let go.
This trust is an essential part of the Stoic practice of surrender. It reminds us that while we are responsible for our thoughts and actions, there is a natural flow to life that we cannot control. Sleep is a release, a quiet trust that everything will be as it should be. Tomorrow, the cycle will begin again, and you will wake up once more with the opportunity to focus on what is within your control and surrender to everything else.
As you fall asleep, embrace this cycle of surrender. The world may keep spinning, but you are at peace knowing that your choices, thoughts, and actions are the only things you can grasp. The rest is out of your hands, and that is perfectly fine.
Daily Stoic Meditation: Where is the Path to Serenity?
One of the tenets of Stoic philosophy is determining what we can and cannot control. If we focus only on what we can control and not obsess over things that are out of our hands, we can live al life without any regrets.
While our circumstances may not always be in our control, how we respond to them can make all the difference in the world. Our choices are always in our control, ultimately determining our character.
I like Maya Angelou’s quotes: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” and “Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.”
Both quotes emphasize the importance of making efforts and accepting what is beyond our control as a given. When you change your perspective on control and choice, you become calmer because you no longer worry about things you can do nothing about.
Fortune or luck plays a huge role in how things happen. Not everything you do will turn out how you want it to, but you can adapt by making choices and controlling what you can control.
Conclusion
By integrating these practices into your daily routine, you align with Epictetus’s profound wisdom, cultivating a life of serenity and purpose. Each moment of reflection—from the morning acknowledgment of your control to the evening reassessment of your boundaries—helps reinforce the essential balance between action and acceptance.
Embracing this cyclical process enhances your capacity to handle life’s uncertainties and deepens your understanding of what truly lies within your influence. As you continue this practice, you will find yourself more adept at maintaining inner peace, regardless of the external circumstances that unfold.
This article is a part of The Daily Stoic Meditations Series based on Ryan Holiday’s book.