Confessions and Envy
Okay, here we go, folks. It’s time for a couple of confessions, and trust me, they’re worth the read. So, here’s the deal—I’ve been guilty of half-assing things. Yeah, you heard me right. Up until now, much of my work on this website has been, well, kind of an afterthought. I’d whip up content in my spare time, without much planning, and most of the time I was backdating articles.
But wait, there’s more. The second confession is where things get a tad complicated but also intriguing—I envy you. Yes, you, the person still reading this article. If you’re here, chances are you’re a young soul with an appetite for self-improvement material. You’re on a quest to get better, change, become happier, more fulfilled, and maybe even a tad more productive.
Now, picture this—I envy your position, where you’re not quite as far along in your journey as you’d like to be. You’re probably thinking you’ve got a long road ahead, miles away from where you want to be in life. And that’s precisely what we’re diving into.
Climbing Mountains and Dreaming Big
Let’s rewind the clock about 12 years, shall we? Back then, Mark was much like you—youthful, ambitious, and fired up. He had a dinky little blog, a less-than-stellar website, but hey, he had a dream. He wanted to be a writer, an author. His aspiration? To reinvent the self-help scene, tailored for millennials. It sounded like a moonshot, a goal so high it seemed impossible to reach. Mark was at the base of a colossal mountain, but boy, was he ready to scale it with unbridled determination.
This is exactly where I find myself today. I love Mark Manson. I read everything he writes. I would like to think I am on a similar path only 10 years younger than him. I am nearing my 30th birthday. I am trying to make it as a writer after trying a bunch of things in the last 8 years. Still, I feel like I am not trying new things and taking one more risk.
For years, Mark climbed that mountain, tooth and nail, inching his way to the pinnacle of his dreams. That humble website? It blossomed into a blog with millions of eager readers. The blog? It snagged him a book deal, which, in turn, translated into three Number One New York Times Best Selling Books. He globe-trotted, addressing audiences numbering in the thousands. In essence, Mark had gone from being at the bottom of the mountain, harboring dreams, to standing atop that very mountain, living those dreams.
Yet, something incredibly peculiar happened along the way.
From Excitement to Fear: The Emotional Rollercoaster
Picture the emotions at the base of the mountain—excitement reigns supreme. It’s an exhilarating mix of potential, possibilities, and uncharted territories. But as you ascend, things take a twist. The predominant emotion shifts, and fear takes center stage. It’s the fear that all you’ve gained could slip through your fingers, that the future might be a downhill ride, a far cry from the high point you’ve reached.
It’s the fear of your ideas being pilfered, your brand tarnished, your image used in absurd and reckless ways. It’s the fear of losing what you’ve worked so hard to achieve. It’s the fear of letting people down or isolating them. The risks you once took boldly, the outrageous content you released—it starts to wane.
As success takes root, you become more calculated, less inclined to embrace audacious creative ventures. It’s no longer about art and creativity; it’s about maintaining an image, managing a brand. Suddenly, the work that once filled you with excitement now breeds anxiety. And here’s the kicker—this isn’t a unique phenomenon. It’s something many people who achieve success early or quickly can relate to.
Burnout and Identity Crisis
So, what happens next? Well, you might find yourself inching toward burnout, just as he did last year. Burnout, to the point where quitting altogether seems like a viable option. It’s like trying to pour from an empty cup; the creative well has run dry.
Now, he took a breather, shifted gears. He relocated to sunny L.A., made his health a priority, and spent quality time with family and friends. And you know what he discovered about himself? He relishes being bad at things. When you’re good at something, the pressure mounts, expectations soar, and the risk-reward equation skews heavily toward losing rather than gaining.
However, when you’re bad at something, the world is your oyster. There’s nothing to lose, and everything to gain. It’s the thrill of learning, failing, and growing. It’s the joy of climbing the mountain, not merely standing atop it. These might seem like subtle distinctions, but they’re crucial.
I enjoy being a beginner too. It’s fun to try your hand at something you have never done before. The one thing I have learnt in my life is the importance of learning and how to be an eternal student. There’s a strange freedom in knowing that you are bad at something because you can only improve and without expectations.
Embracing the Climb and a New Beginning
So, when he says he envies you, it’s not because he yearns for the past. It’s because he covets that lack of expectation, the freedom that comes with having nothing to lose. So, during his time off, he had an epiphany—he wants to be a beginner again. He wants a fresh mountain to conquer, where he can learn, mess up, and savor the freedom to err. No complicated contracts or high stakes; it’s just him, an empty room, and a lot of glorious mistakes.
As I watched Mark talk about this experience, I couldn’t help but wonder that this couldn’t have come for me at a better time. I am super self-critical and often put undue pressure on myself to be a perfectionist, scolding myself when I fail and unnecessarily comparing myself with people who are way ahead in their journey. Doing so causes me to spiral downward and go in a shell, so hearing this reminded me that’s it never too late and instilled a sense of optimism.
What’s got him even more excited about this next phase is his belief that YouTube, as a platform, holds untapped potential. It’s like a treasure chest waiting to be opened fully. Call him arrogant, but he thinks he can bring a dash of ‘why’ to YouTube. It’s not just about creating fantastic, entertaining content; it’s about adding a layer of purpose.
I am picking up steam with my writing on my website, my work as a freelancer and learning new things that are having a positive impact on my social life. One of the creative pursuits I have planned for next year is to launch a podcast and possibly YouTube. I am enjoying my public speaking and latin dancing classes. There’s plenty going on in my life that I am excited for at the moment. My career and my life in general can go in any direction, fingers crossed.
The Road Ahead: Climbing or Falling
So, in a nutshell, I’m on a mission to climb this new mountain, equipped with little more than determination, a hunger for learning, and the willingness to screw up spectacularly. I’m not out to prove anything; I just want to create, to enjoy the process, and to have fun again.
In essence, I’m chasing that feeling of being at the bottom of the mountain, where every step is an adventure, every mistake a lesson. It’s a journey filled with uncertainty and exhilaration, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The reason I am sharing this with you today is that as the year is drawing to a close, it brings with it an opportunity for a fresh start. I have had many conversations with people who stop themselves from starting over even though they know how badly they need it.
At any point in my life, if there is a chance to take a risk, I will gladly take it because life is too short for regrets and wondering What IF? If you are still reading, take this as a sign of encouragement and take that leap of faith.
So, whether I conquer this new mountain or take a tumble, I’ll embrace the climb, the freedom to fail, because that’s what it’s all about. This is Aseem, and I’ll be seeing you again soon.