Imagine a scenario straight out of a diabolical scientist’s lair—a horrifying contraption known as “The Screen.” This malevolent invention, designed to invoke terror, forces its hapless victims into a colossal meat grinder. In a cacophony of screams, the machine reduces their bodies to a million minuscule particles, only to reassemble them on the other side. But what does this nightmare contraption have to do with the world of business and communication? It’s an apt metaphor for the emotional ordeal of being screened during a crucial phone call.
People have all been there. They muster the courage to make that pivotal cold call, hoping to connect with a key decision-maker like Mr. Jones. They politely inquire, “May I speak to Mr. Jones, please?” And then, from the other end of the line, they’re met with the gatekeeper’s voice, a self-appointed sentinel of the executive’s time and attention.
“Who’s calling?” she demands, her voice dripping with condescension. The caller’s name, they fear, lacks the requisite prestige to gain entry into the hallowed chambers of Mr. Jones.
Her relentless interrogation continues: “And what company are you with?” The caller submits their company’s name, fervently hoping it might carry enough weight to secure passage. And when they think it can’t get any worse, she brazenly inquires, “And what’s this about?” The torture intensifies.
But what if there was a way to circumvent this emotional meat grinder? What if callers could navigate past the gatekeeper’s relentless screening and speak directly to their intended contact? Enter the “Sneaky Screen” technique—a deceptively simple yet remarkably effective strategy for outwitting the gatekeeper and securing vital conversations.
The Torture of Being Screened
Cold calling can often feel like a trial by fire, with the gatekeeper standing as an immovable obstacle between you and your objective. The emotional toll of being screened—rejected before you even get the chance to speak—can leave you feeling like a helpless participant in a game stacked against you. Picture it: you’re on a mission, and your goal is clear and straightforward: connect with the person you’re trying to reach. And yet, the process to get there is rarely as simple as it seems.
When you first make that call, your tone is professional and polite. “May I speak to Mr. Jones?” you ask, your voice carrying the hope that this time will be different. But instead of the welcoming response you expect, the first words you hear are those of an interrogator: “Who’s calling?” This seemingly simple question immediately places you on the defensive. It’s not just a question—it’s a challenge to prove your worthiness of even being considered for a conversation with the person you seek.
The psychological impact of this question can be profound. Your identity is stripped of value as the gatekeeper evaluates whether you’re important enough to be heard. As the questioning continues, you feel the pressure mounting. “What company are you with?” comes next, an even more pointed question that makes it clear your worthiness is determined not by the merits of your message but by your company’s prestige. If your organization isn’t a household name, you might already feel the door beginning to close.
Then comes the final blow, the question that feels like an emotional sledgehammer: “And what’s this about?” It’s as though every word you speak is under scrutiny, and you must justify why you should be granted the opportunity to speak with the person you’re calling. The more you answer, the more the situation feels like a painful, emotional ordeal. You’re not just being “screened” in the traditional sense; you’re being emotionally dismantled by a process designed to reduce you to mere fragments of your former self.
The sense of frustration and helplessness that often follows is natural. It’s a mental blow to your confidence, as your rejection doesn’t leave you feeling ignored—it makes you question your worth, approach, and right to even ask for a conversation. The emotional toll is accurate, and it’s easy to see why being screened can feel like being trapped in an emotional grinder that strips away everything you’ve worked for, leaving you battered and exhausted.
The Sneaky Screen: A Masterclass in Subtlety
If you must screen your calls, instruct your staff to first say cheerfully, “Oh yes, I’ll put you right through. May I tell her who’s calling?” If the party has already identified himself, it’s “Oh, of course, Mr. Whoozit. I’ll put you right through.” When the secretary comes back with the bad news that Mr. or Ms. Bigwig is unavailable, callers don’t take it personally and never feel screened. They fall for it every time, just like I did.
Technique #63 – The Sneaky Screen
Despite the emotional difficulty of traditional screening, there is a way to turn the tables, face the gatekeeper, and walk away feeling like the victor. The secret? The sneaky screen. Unlike most screening techniques, which take a direct, confrontational approach, the sneaky screen operates on subtlety and psychological manipulation. It’s not about forcing your way past the gatekeeper; it’s about making them believe that the outcome is inevitable and the rejection, though forthcoming, is merely the result of timing, not your worth.
The technique is rooted in persuasion and plays on human nature, particularly the need for people to feel valued and respected. A simple, well-executed sneaky screen doesn’t make the caller feel rejected; instead, it gives them the illusion that they are close to success, and all that’s needed is a little patience. They don’t feel dismissed; they or they are just one step away from the prize. This psychological trick is what makes the sneaky screen so powerful.
The key to the sneaky screen is making the caller feel like they are not just another voice trying to get through to the bigwig. The gatekeeper plays their part with enthusiasm and politeness, offering responses that make the caller feel important. By using words like “Oh yes, I’ll put you right through,” the gatekeeper sets up the expectation that the conversation is about to happen. This initial positive interaction disarms the caller, leading them to believe they’re getting closer to their goal, even if the reality is that they’re still far from it.
Leil Lowndes’ experience with Steve Effros is a prime example of this technique. When she called Steve, she was met with what appeared to be a sincere offer to connect—the assistant’s response—”Oh yes, Ms. Lowndes. Let me put you right through”—was designed to make her feel that she was moments away from speaking with Steve. But then came the twist: “I’m so sorry, Ms. Lowndes, Steve just stepped out for lunch.” Lowndes didn’t feel dismissed. She felt the situation was out of her control and wasn’t a rejection—it was simply bad timing. Her number was taken down, leaving her feeling optimistic rather than defeated. This is the magic of the sneaky screen.
The brilliance of the sneaky screen lies in how it manipulates perception. Like many others who fall victim to this technique, Lowndes never felt personally rejected. Instead, she felt that the situation was circumstantial, that Steve’s absence was a simple oversight, not an intentional brush-off. And this emotional safety net is what makes the sneaky screen so effective. It leaves the caller feeling like they’re still in the game, still relevant, and still valued, even if they haven’t gotten through to the person they wanted to speak with.
How the Sneaky Screen Works
To truly understand the sneaky screen, it’s important to break down the steps that make it so effective. At its core, the sneaky screen creates an illusion of success while controlling the gatekeeper. The method is subtle, but its impact is undeniable. Here’s a detailed look at how it works:
- The Warm Reception: The first thing the gatekeeper does is offer a warm, welcoming response. When a caller dials in, they’re immediately greeted with an upbeat, positive tone. “Oh yes, I’ll put you right through. May I tell her who’s calling?” This phrase is designed to create a sense of ease and anticipation in the caller. The language implies that the person they are trying to reach is not far off and that the connection is within their grasp. The caller feels that their goal is almost achieved, which keeps them emotionally invested in the process.
- The Follow-Up Questions: Once the caller is introduced, the gatekeeper continues with a swift and affirming reply, such as, “Oh, of course, Mr. Whoozit. I’ll put you right through.” This follow-up makes the caller feel that they’ve passed an important test. The secretary’s response is polite and quick, reinforcing that they’ve already validated the caller’s request. In this step, the caller feels they’ve earned the right to connect. Even if the gatekeeper has no intention of putting the call through, the words used to make the caller feel respected and valued.
- The Bad News: After the caller has been led to believe they are close to success, the gatekeeper gently and apologetically delivers the bad news: “I’m so sorry, but Mr. Bigwig is unavailable now. He’s just left for lunch, but I know he’ll want to get back to you as soon as possible.” The phrasing here is crucial. The word “sorry” immediately softens the blow, and the reason for the person’s absence is framed as temporary. There is no direct rejection—just a simple, understandable delay. The caller doesn’t feel that their attempt to reach the person was futile; they think they’ve just missed them and that the opportunity to connect is still on the horizon.
This approach works because it ensures the caller never feels outright rejected. Instead of a firm “no,” they receive a gentle “not right now.” This keeps their spirits up, and they often walk away believing the next attempt might succeed.
Why It Works
The sneaky screen works because it taps into fundamental aspects of human nature. People, by and large, don’t want to feel dismissed. Even if they know they’re just one voice in a sea of calls, they still crave acknowledgment, validation, and respect. The sneaky screen is designed to give the caller a sense of respect and importance, even in the face of rejection.
It is particularly effective because it exploits the psychological principle of optimism. When the gatekeeper tells the caller that the person they want to speak to is unavailable “just for now,” they plant the seed of hope. The caller believes that the outcome could change with a little more time. The immediate setback does not crush them—instead, they are encouraged to try again. No matter how fleeting, this sense of hope keeps them from feeling discouraged or rejected.
Furthermore, the sneaky screen helps maintain the power dynamic between the gatekeeper and the caller. The gatekeeper retains control, but because the rejection is delivered so gently, the caller doesn’t feel like they’ve been shut out. Instead, they feel that they’ve merely encountered a temporary obstacle. This delicate balance is what makes the sneaky screen so effective.
The real genius behind the sneaky screen is that it allows the gatekeeper to control the conversation without turning away potential leads. Keeping the caller emotionally engaged and feeling respected ensures the call won’t end with frustration. Instead, the caller leaves with a sense of optimism, which keeps the gatekeeper’s power intact while still making the caller feel like they are on the path to success.
Conclusion: Master the Art of the Sneaky Screen
Mastering the art of sneaking past the gatekeeper is not about trickery; it’s about understanding human nature. It’s about realizing that people respond to subtlety and that maintaining a sense of dignity and respect can allow you to achieve your goals without making others uncomfortable.
Adopting techniques like the sneaky screen increases your chances of getting past the gatekeeper and creates a relationship of trust and goodwill. So, the next time you call a bigwig’s office, remember: it’s not just about making a call; it’s about making an impression.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.