Navigating the Maze of Senses
Our senses shape the way we perceive and communicate with the world around us. Whether it’s through sight, sound, touch, smell, or taste, our senses are the lenses through which we experience life. But have you ever considered that people might have a dominant sense through which they interpret the world? Well, they do, and understanding this can revolutionize your communication.
The Brenda Connection
To illustrate this concept, let’s travel back in time and talk about Brenda. Brenda wasn’t just a tap dance teacher; she was a tap dance enthusiast. Her walls were adorned with posters of tap legends like Bill “Bojangles” Robinson and Charles “Honi” Coles. But what struck me most about Brenda was her unique way of perceiving the world. She lived more through her ears than her eyes.
Five Senses, Five Paths
We all experience the world through our five senses: sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. Each of us leans more heavily on one of these senses when processing information. Neurolinguistic programming (NLP) suggests that recognizing and catering to this dominant sense in others can greatly enhance your communication.
For Brenda, it was all about her ears. Growing up in a dark New York City apartment below street level, she heard the world long before she saw it. From the rhythmic pitter-patter of feet on the sidewalk above her crib to the cacophony of city sounds, her world was a symphony of auditory experiences.
An Empathizer Experiment
To better connect with Brenda and others like her, I decided to experiment with my language. Instead of saying, “That looks good to me,” I’d opt for “That sounds good.” When I made this shift in my communication, I noticed that Brenda seemed more engaged and attentive.
But here’s where it gets interesting – people can be multi-sensory in their communication. Brenda, who had a strong auditory orientation, would sometimes switch to visual references. She’d say things like “I see what you mean” or “That looks good to me.” This duality added a layer of complexity to my communication strategy.
Cracking the Code with “Anatomically Correct Empathizers”
While deciphering someone’s primary sense can be tricky, there’s a simple technique that doesn’t require Sherlock Holmes-level detective work. It’s called “Anatomically Correct Empathizers,” and it’s incredibly effective.
Here’s the gist: Instead of trying to determine someone’s dominant sense, pay attention to the sense they are currently using in their conversation. Are they speaking through their eyes, ears, or maybe their gut feeling? Match your empathetic responses to the sense they’re emphasizing at that moment.
For example, if a colleague talks about a financial plan and says, “With this plan, we can see our way clear in six months,” they’re using visual language. In this case, respond with visual empathizers like “I see what you mean” or “You have a clear picture of that situation.”
If the same colleague later mentions, “This plan has a good ring to it,” they’re now emphasizing the auditory sense. Adjust your empathetic response accordingly, with phrases like “It does sound great,” or “I hear you.”
And when your colleague expresses, “I have a gut feeling this plan will work,” they’ve shifted to kinesthetic language. Respond with kinesthetic empathizers such as “I can understand how you feel” or “You have a good grasp of that problem.”
The Missing Senses
Now, you might be wondering about the other two senses, taste and smell. While it’s less common to encounter individuals with dominant gustatory or olfactory senses in everyday conversation, you can still incorporate these senses when appropriate. For instance, compliment a chef with “That’s a delicious idea,” or use a playful phrase like “The whole idea stinks” when speaking to your dog (who undoubtedly has an acute olfactory sense).
In the intricate web of human communication, understanding and adapting to the dominant senses of those around you can be a game-changer. With “Anatomically Correct Empathizers” in your toolkit, you’ll speak their language, creating stronger connections and more effective conversations.