A simple, thoughtful gesture can go a long way in a world where excellent customer service is often taken for granted. One of the most powerful tools for ensuring you get the best service possible is what’s known as a “buttercup”—a complimentary letter that praises someone’s exceptional effort, often before a favor is even fulfilled. This technique, simple yet highly effective, leverages the psychology of recognition and reciprocity to ensure that your future requests are met with the utmost attention and care. Whether you’re dealing with a store clerk, a restaurant manager, or any other service provider, a well-timed buttercup can elevate your status and create lasting relationships that guarantee you receive VIP treatment every time.
What is a Buttercup?
Do you have a store clerk, accountant, law firm junior partner, tailor, auto mechanic, maître d’, massage therapist, kid’s teacher—or any other worker you want special attention from in the future? The surefire way to make them care enough to give you their very best is send a buttercup to their boss.
Technique #90 – Buttercups for Their Boss
Buttercup is not just a pleasant flower; it’s a powerful tool beyond mere flattery in the world of service and customer interactions. This term refers to a complimentary gesture or letter that “butters up” the recipient by making them feel appreciated, respected, and recognized for their work. It’s a form of subtle and impactful praise designed to elicit goodwill and future cooperation.
The buttercup technique works because it taps into the human need for validation. People like to feel valued, and when they receive recognition for their efforts, especially from a customer, it gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment. It’s the praise that goes beyond a simple thank you; it highlights the specific qualities that make someone’s work exceptional. Acknowledging someone’s skills, dedication, or positive attitude creates a bond that strengthens the relationship between you and the person providing the service.
The beauty of the Buttercup lies in its simplicity and sincerity. It’s not about using grandiose language or over-the-top praise; rather, it’s about offering a genuine compliment that feels authentic and heartfelt. This sets the Buttercup apart from other forms of flattery—it’s real, specific, and timely. By recognizing someone’s exceptional service at the moment it happens, you create an immediate connection that can have long-lasting effects.
A Buttercup in Action: Leil’s Staples Experience
The buttercup technique doesn’t require complex strategies or elaborate planning—it’s about recognizing the moment to make someone feel appreciated. Leil learned this firsthand during a visit to Staples, where he faced a massive photocopying task. The assistant manager, understandably, was uncertain if the job could be completed within the specified timeline. His hesitation was clear: “I’ll try, but I’m not sure we can get it done by the end of the week.”
Instead of responding with frustration or resignation, Leil shifted his perspective. Despite the daunting task, he saw the assistant manager’s willingness to help and chose to express his appreciation. With genuine enthusiasm, Leil said, “Wow, you’re great at this! I need to know your boss’s name because your supervisor should get a letter about how awesome you are. You go the extra mile for your customers.” Leil’s words were sincere, filled with admiration for the manager’s effort, without being exaggerated.
To his surprise, the results were immediate and extraordinary. Not only did the assistant manager complete the large photocopying job two days ahead of schedule, but he also treated Leil with friendliness and attentiveness that went beyond the typical customer service experience. Every time Leil returned to the store, he was greeted with enthusiasm, as if he were a valued regular. It dawned on him that the buttercup technique had worked—he hadn’t just received the service he needed. Still, the employee was also motivated to maintain a high standard of service, knowing that Leil’s praise had been communicated to his superior. This experience reinforced the power of a well-timed compliment, and Leil saw the potential to use it in other situations.
The Power of Praise Before the Service is Given
The buttercup technique’s power lies in its psychology. You establish an unspoken agreement of mutual respect and reciprocity by offering praise before receiving a favor. This approach plays on the principle of anticipation: When you compliment someone and express your intention to recognize them to their supervisor, you create a psychological expectation that they will fulfill your request to the best of their ability. The compliment sets a positive tone and builds an emotional connection that compels the person to go the extra mile.
Tim, a well-established travel agent I know, confirmed the effectiveness of this tactic when I shared my experience with him. With a knowing laugh, he said, “Leil, of course this works. A complimentary letter—or even just mentioning one—is like an insurance policy. It’s a written guarantee that you’ll be well taken care of.” Tim uses the Buttercup technique regularly to ensure his clients receive the best service possible. Whether securing difficult-to-obtain theater tickets or navigating a last-minute change in travel plans, Tim knows that expressing genuine appreciation for the service providers beforehand creates an environment where they feel motivated to honor the request with urgency and dedication.
Tim pointed out that the Buttercup is a form of psychological “pre-payment.” By offering positive reinforcement ahead of time, you’re signaling to the service provider that their effort will be recognized, which often leads them to perform at their best. This technique doesn’t rely on manipulation or coercion—it’s simply an effective way to ensure you’ll receive the service you deserve. The anticipation of praise is a motivating force, making the service provider feel appreciated and responsible for maintaining a high standard of service.
The Anatomy of a Buttercup Letter
Writing a buttercup letter is straightforward, but the key to its success is making it genuine, specific, and impactful. The letter’s structure is simple yet powerful, and it’s important to follow a few essential guidelines to ensure your message resonates with the recipient.
- Salutation: Always address the supervisor or manager directly, using their formal title (e.g., “Dear Mr. Smith” or “Dear Manager”). This sets the tone for the letter and shows that you treat the matter professionally.
- Introduction: Start by explaining why you’re writing. Clearly, the letter’s purpose is to commend an employee for their exceptional service. This sets the context and lets the recipient know that the letter is one of praise, not a complaint.
- Specific Praise: The most important part of the letter is the specific praise you offer. Instead of saying something vague like “They were great,” outline exactly what made the employee stand out. For example, did they go above and beyond to resolve an issue? Were they particularly knowledgeable, patient, or helpful? The more specific you can be, the more powerful the compliment becomes. This makes the praise feel more sincere and helps the employee’s supervisor understand exactly what qualities made the employee exceptional.
- Closing Gratitude: End the letter by expressing gratitude once again. Reinforce how the employee’s actions positively impacted your experience, and thank them for the difference they made. This ensures that the recognition feels complete and leaves the recipient with a lasting positive impression.
For instance:
Dear [Supervisor’s Name],
I commend [Employee’s Name] for providing exceptional service during my recent visit to [Store/Business Name]. Their attention to detail and willingness to go above and beyond made my experience memorable. [Employee’s Name] handled my request with professionalism and care, and I am extremely grateful for the level of service provided. Thanks to [Employee’s Name] ‘s outstanding service, I will continue to be a loyal customer of [Store/Business Name].
Thank you for fostering such a positive environment at your business.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
This format ensures that your praise is specific, thoughtful, and impactful. It also makes it easy for the supervisor to understand the employee’s contribution, which increases the likelihood of that employee being recognized or rewarded for their efforts.
What to Avoid: Making Sure Your Buttercup Doesn’t Backfire
While the Buttercup technique is powerful, it’s important to be mindful of how you approach it. The last thing you want is your compliment to come across as disingenuous or manipulative. One common mistake people make when using this strategy is asking for the supervisor’s name in a way that feels abrupt or suspicious. For example, simply asking, “What’s the name of your supervisor?” can make the employee nervous, as they may interpret it as an indication that they’re being evaluated or something is wrong.
To avoid this, it’s important to frame the question in a way that makes the employee feel at ease. Instead of making it sound like you’re asking for their superior’s name out of the blue, try to ease into it with a compliment. For instance, saying, “You’ve been so helpful today! I’d love to send a letter to your boss to let them know how great you’ve been. What’s their name?” makes the employee feel appreciated first and foremost. It doesn’t create any unnecessary anxiety. By softening the approach, you ensure that the interaction remains positive and that the employee feels comfortable with your request.
The key is to be authentic in your praise. If your compliment feels forced or insincere, it could backfire, and the employee may perceive it as an attempt to manipulate them. The buttercup technique works best when genuine and natural, so offer compliments that reflect your true feelings.
Expanding the Technique: Buttercups for Any Service Worker
The Buttercup technique isn’t limited to just one type of service provider—it can be used across a wide range of interactions. Whether you’re dealing with retail clerks, waitstaff, parking attendants, or healthcare workers, anyone who provides a service can benefit from a compliment sent to their supervisor. The beauty of the Buttercup is that it works across industries, ensuring that you’ll always receive the best service in the future, no matter where you go.
For example, consider your personal relationship with your hairdresser or barber. If they consistently give you the best cut or style, it’s worth sending a buttercup to their supervisor to acknowledge their skill. Or, if you frequent a particular store and an employee consistently helps you find what you need, sending a letter to their manager can ensure that you continue to receive exceptional service every time you visit.
The Buttercup is especially powerful in service settings like restaurants or hotels. A well-timed compliment can ensure that the next time you walk into your favorite restaurant, your table is ready, and your order is taken promptly. Similarly, by complimenting the staff at a hotel and sending a letter to the manager, you ensure that your next stay will be even better, with personalized attention and superior service.
Why the Buttercup Works
The Buttercup technique is effective because it is rooted in basic human psychology. People want to be acknowledged for their hard work and effort. When you recognize someone’s contribution to your positive experience, you create a sense of validation that motivates them to continue providing excellent service. This recognition fosters goodwill and encourages the service provider to go above and beyond in the future, knowing that their efforts will be appreciated.
Moreover, the Buttercup taps into the principle of reciprocity. When someone does something kind for you, you naturally want to return the favor. By acknowledging someone’s exceptional service with a buttercup, you’re creating an unspoken contract that encourages the service provider to treat you with the same level of respect and attentiveness in the future. This reciprocity strengthens your relationship with the service provider, ensuring your interactions remain positive and productive.
Additionally, the Buttercup technique creates a sense of community and mutual respect. When people are recognized for their efforts, they feel more invested in their work, which leads to higher job satisfaction and motivation. By using the Buttercup, you’re not just benefiting yourself—you’re contributing to a culture of positivity and recognition that benefits everyone involved.
Expanding Your VIP Status
By consistently using the buttercup technique, you establish yourself as someone who is remembered and valued by those who provide service. This means you’ll never have to worry about being treated as just another customer or client—you’ll always be treated like a VIP. Whether it’s ensuring that you get the best seat at a restaurant, securing a spot in a crowded parking lot, or receiving priority service from your favorite retailer, the Buttercup ensures that you’re always top of mind when it comes to service.
The beauty of the buttercup technique is that it’s simple, effective, and completely within your control. By taking the time to recognize others for their exceptional work, you’re creating a ripple effect that benefits everyone involved. Not only will you receive better service in the future, but you’ll also be helping to foster a culture of kindness, respect, and mutual appreciation wherever you go. This small act of kindness can profoundly impact you, ensuring you’re always treated like a valued VIP.
Conclusion
The Buttercup technique is a simple but incredibly effective strategy for getting the best service possible. By offering genuine praise and recognition to an employee before a favor is even granted, you set the stage for a positive relationship built on trust and mutual respect. This small act of kindness ensures that your needs will be prioritized and fosters a culture of appreciation that benefits everyone involved. So the next time you need something done right, don’t just ask—take a moment to acknowledge the hard work of those who serve you. A simple buttercup might be the key to unlocking exceptional service.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.