In business, the timing of your interactions is often more important than the message itself. Consider the following scenario: William, a diligent salesman, has spent weeks trying to get Big Winner, a potential client, on the phone. William hopes to close a deal involving his line of widgets, but despite his best efforts, Big Winner hasn’t returned his calls. The situation seems like a standoff. But fate has something else in store for them both.
One evening, Willie and Big Winner are in the same supermarket line. This is a stroke of luck for Willie—an unexpected opportunity to engage with the elusive Big Winner. The air is thick with potential. For Big Winner, however, it’s a moment of dread. His internal monologue states, “Please don’t bring up your widgets right now.”
This scenario highlights a critical aspect of professional interactions: the importance of context. While it may seem like a prime moment to make your sales pitch, how you handle this encounter could dictate the future of your relationship with Big Winner.
The Wrong Approach: The “Gotcha” Moment
The allure of the “gotcha” moment is powerful in business, especially for those eager to advance their agenda. It’s that impulse to immediately turn a chance encounter into an opportunity for personal gain. In Willie’s case, he’s been chasing Big Winner for weeks, hoping to close a deal involving his widgets. He’s made calls, sent emails, and tried every other avenue to get Big Winner’s attention. So, when he unexpectedly finds himself behind Big Winner in a supermarket line, it feels like fate has finally given him the opening he’s been waiting for.
It’s easy to see how Willie could be tempted to seize this moment. The situation seems like a golden opportunity to pitch his product directly to Big Winner. After all, what better way to sell his widgets than to approach Big Winner face-to-face when he’s most vulnerable and least likely to escape? The timing feels perfect. The problem is that, despite his excitement, Willie’s approach will almost certainly backfire.
The supermarket is not a place where business deals are made. It’s an environment of routine and personal space. Big Winner is likely trying to relax, maybe just picking up a few items after a long day, and the last thing he wants is a high-pressure sales pitch. Even if Big Winner had been considering Willie’s widgets, the act of cornering him at this moment would have turned what could be a pleasant interaction into an uncomfortable one.
This situation reflects a more significant problem in many business transactions: the failure to understand the importance of context. By launching into a pitch, Willie disregards the social setting and Big Winner’s emotional state. What could have been an opportunity for future engagement now becomes an unfortunate memory of an uncomfortable encounter. Rather than feeling gratitude for the widgets, Big Winner may feel annoyance or resentment, which could sour the possibility of ever working together.
The Right Approach: Grace Under Pressure
If you’re selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of your mistaken meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your swan song with Big Winner.
Technique #85 – Chance Encounters Are for Chitchat
Now, let’s shift the focus to the opposite approach that could transform the chance encounter into a long-term opportunity. Instead of seizing the moment for a hard sell, Willie has the emotional intelligence to recognize the social dynamics. Rather than launching into a pitch, Willie acknowledges Big Winner with a casual, friendly greeting, saying, “Hello there, B.W., it’s great to see you!” with warmth and sincerity but without mentioning business.
This response might seem minor, but it carries profound significance. By choosing not to pressure Big Winner with a pitch, Willie demonstrates his understanding of the situation. He’s not trying to take advantage of the moment. Instead, he respects Big Winner’s space and acknowledges him as a human being, not just as a potential business opportunity. This simple exchange establishes an atmosphere of comfort and trust, far more valuable than any immediate sales pitch.
For Big Winner, the lack of pressure is a relief. Instead of feeling cornered or trapped into discussing business, he has a moment of connection with Willie free of ulterior motives. Big Winner may even feel grateful for the lack of pressure. In the business world, where individuals are often bombarded with requests and pitches, this rare moment of genuine, pressure-free interaction can create a lasting positive impression.
In the long run, this approach sets the stage for a deeper, more meaningful relationship. Instead of tarnishing his image with an aggressive sales tactic, Willie leaves a lasting impression of grace and professionalism. Feeling respected and valued, Big Winner will likely be more inclined to return Willie’s call the next day or engage in a longer-term partnership. It’s very likely that the next time Willie contacts Big Winner, the conversation will be warmer, more open, and far more productive simply because of this brief, thoughtful interaction.
Creating Safe Havens: The Key to Long-Term Success
Creating safe havens—places where people feel comfortable, respected, and valued—is crucial in any professional relationship. A “haven” doesn’t always mean a literal physical space; it can also refer to emotional or social environments where people feel at ease and free from pressure. Cultivating this atmosphere fosters trust, mutual respect, and the potential for deeper, more meaningful connections.
In the case of Willie and Big Winner, Willie’s decision to refrain from launching into his pitch is a perfect example of creating a haven. By not using the moment to advance his agenda, Willie ensures that Big Winner feels comfortable and unpressured. This, in turn, builds goodwill and sets the foundation for future interactions that are grounded in trust and mutual respect.
This concept extends far beyond one-on-one interactions in supermarkets or business meetings. At a broader level, creating safe havens applies to every professional relationship. Whether in a boardroom, a networking event, or even casual social gatherings, the key to success is making others feel comfortable and respected. People are more likely to open up, collaborate, and ultimately engage in business opportunities when they feel they are not being manipulated or cornered.
Big winners, the top players in any industry, understand this principle intimately. They know that proper business success is not built solely on transactions but on the relationships that underlie those transactions. By cultivating an atmosphere where people feel valued and respected, they set the stage for future success. Whether it’s an invitation to an exclusive golf outing or an impromptu social gathering, these top-tier professionals know that the key to success lies in what you can offer and how you make others feel. When people feel safe and respected, they are far more likely to open doors for collaboration and business opportunities in the future.
The Power of Casual Conversations
Casual conversations often hold more power than we realize. In the rush to close deals and achieve goals, it’s easy to overlook the importance of informal interactions. These moments might seem insignificant at first glance, but they often serve as the building blocks for deeper, more meaningful relationships.
In Willie’s case, by choosing to engage in a light, pleasant exchange without focusing on business, he is demonstrating an understanding of the value of human connection. It’s not just about selling widgets; it’s about creating a genuine rapport. When people feel comfortable and appreciated, they are more likely to engage with you in meaningful ways in the future. They’re also more likely to remember the interaction positively, which can open doors down the road.
For Big Winner, this casual interaction is an opportunity to see Willie as more than just a salesperson. He’s not simply focused on what he can get from Big Winner; he’s interested in the person himself. This shifts how Big Winner perceives Willie—moving from “just another salesperson” to a potential collaborator or business partner. This simple interaction can ultimately lead to more productive conversations in the future.
Casual conversations also benefit both parties by taking the pressure off. When business is discussed in a relaxed environment, free from formal meetings or deadline constraints, it opens space for creativity, collaboration, and problem-solving. People are more willing to engage in these discussions when they’re not feeling the weight of an immediate transaction. This is why casual interactions, even in social settings, often lead to the most genuine and successful business connections.
Creating Meaningful Connections: The Art of Timing
Understanding the art of timing is crucial to building meaningful connections. While business is often about results and deadlines, it’s also about recognizing the right moments to engage in deeper conversations or build relationships. In the case of Willie and Big Winner, timing was everything. It would have been a missed opportunity if Willie had pushed for a sales conversation. However, by understanding the nuances of timing, he created a meaningful interaction without needing immediate results.
Reading a situation and adjusting your approach accordingly is a valuable skill. It’s about knowing when to push for your goals and when to let the relationship unfold naturally. In business, this skill can be the difference between short-term success and long-term growth. Professionals who master this art know business isn’t just about transactions; it’s about timing, relationships, and the human connections that drive success.
For Willie, the decision to hold off on his pitch and focus on building rapport with Big Winner is a perfect example of this. He recognizes that this moment, though casual, could be the foundation for something much more significant in the future. By letting the conversation unfold naturally, without the pressure of immediate results, Willie opens the door for a deeper, more meaningful relationship with Big Winner.
The Long-Term Benefits of Creating Safe Havens
The long-term benefits of creating safe havens are substantial. When people feel comfortable and respected, they’re more likely to engage with you in ways that benefit them personally and professionally. The relationships built in these safe environments often lead to more opportunities, collaborations, and lifelong partnerships.
In Willie’s case, his decision to avoid pushing for a business deal in that supermarket line ultimately works in his favor. By creating a safe space for Big Winner, he’s opened the door for future opportunities. Big Winner will likely remember Willie’s grace and professionalism, encouraging him to return Willie’s call and engage in business discussions without the resentment that a pushy sales pitch might have fostered.
The broader principle of creating safe havens applies to every aspect of business and personal relationships. By focusing on building trust, respect, and comfort in every interaction, you lay the groundwork for long-term success. This approach opens doors for new opportunities and strengthens existing relationships, making them more fruitful and rewarding over time. People want to do business with those they trust—and trust is built through creating safe, comfortable spaces where individuals can connect without pressure.
Conclusion: The Subtle Art of Timing
In business and life, it’s crucial to recognize the power of timing. A chance meeting should never be viewed as an opportunity to push your agenda—especially when the person you’re engaging with might feel pressure or discomfort. Instead, use these moments to show that you understand the importance of connection over transactions. By practicing grace, you ensure that when you make your pitch, it’s heard with openness rather than resistance.
Creating these safe havens will lead to more opportunities and build your reputation as someone who understands the nuances of human interaction. In the world of business, that’s an invaluable skill.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.