Have you ever watched the iconic movie Annie Hall? In it, Diane Keaton’s character shares her inner thoughts during her first meeting with Woody Allen, saying, “Oh, I hope he’s not a jerk like all the others. ” Many of us can relate to this moment of candid vulnerability when meeting new people.
Imagine this: you find yourself in the company of a big winner, a true titan of communication and success. You’re engaged in a conversation, trying to make a lasting impression. But unwittingly, you drop a cliché into the conversation, like saying, “I was tired as a dog” or “She was cute as a button.” In that instant, you’ve set off a linguistic alarm.
Big winners, those who have ascended to the upper echelons of achievement, possess an acute aversion to clichés. It’s a subtle yet potent way to distinguish those who truly understand the art of conversation from those who merely skim the surface.
Why Clichés Are Like Linguistic Landmines
Clichés, while seemingly innocent and familiar, are dangerous to your reputation, especially when interacting with highly successful individuals. They’re verbal shortcuts—phrases and expressions that have been recycled so many times that they no longer hold any value. They often create the illusion of a connection or emotional expression, but underneath, they reflect laziness and lack of imagination. For the average person, clichés are a comfortable crutch. They ease the awkwardness of conversation and fill the silence when we don’t know what else to say.
But for someone who’s achieved high success, these phrases are like a linguistic landmine, waiting to explode in the conversation. For instance, expressions like “busy as a bee” or “high as a kite” may have once been charming or amusing, but now they appear tired and uninspired. The problem lies not in the content of the phrase but in the fact that they have been overused for so long that they have lost their power. When a big winner hears such phrases, they don’t see it as a clever or relatable remark; they see it as a sign that you’re not thinking about what you’re saying.
In the world of top achievers, there’s a constant drive for innovation and originality. Whether they’re leading a company, creating new technology, or influencing large groups of people, they live in a realm where creativity and fresh perspectives are paramount. For them, encountering a cliché is like encountering a signal of mediocrity. It’s a reminder of how easy it is to default to something that lacks substance and feels “safe” but doesn’t push the boundaries of thought or discussion. This is why using clichés in conversation with successful people can unknowingly undermine your chances of forming a meaningful connection. You’re not just speaking in empty phrases—you’re revealing that your ability to think and engage with the world is stifled by convention.
The real danger of clichés lies in their power to make you blend into the crowd. When you rely on these expressions, you forfeit an opportunity to differentiate yourself and engage at a deeper level. You’re unknowingly lowering your level of discourse, and while the person across from you might be polite, in the back of their mind, they’ll be thinking, “This person isn’t offering anything new.” This means that even if you are successful in your own right, slipping into clichés could create a barrier to true connection, especially with people who have achieved remarkable things in their fields.
How High Achievers Perceive Clichés
Big winners—those individuals constantly striving for excellence, whether in business, science, or the arts—have a unique perception of language and communication. To them, using clichés is not just a minor error; it’s a major misstep that can quickly erode your credibility. These people are used to thinking on a different wavelength. They’ve developed a heightened sense of discernment regarding conversation because they know that in their world, only those who bring fresh perspectives and ideas to the table truly stand out.
Big winners don’t have time for mediocrity, and clichés, by nature, are mediocrity in verbal form. These individuals live in a world where everything is questioned and constantly refined. They engage in conversations to challenge existing paradigms, expand understanding, and create new possibilities. So when they hear a trite phrase like “as rich as Croesus,” their immediate thought isn’t a mental image of wealth—it’s a judgment of your ability to think critically and engage with the conversation.
Using a cliché in a conversation with someone like this is perceived as a failure to engage at a higher level. It’s not just about the expression itself but the mindset behind it. When you resort to these pre-packaged phrases, you signal that you haven’t invested the time or energy to think deeply about your words or the subject. In their eyes, it’s a sign of intellectual laziness. Rather than challenging yourself to articulate something more compelling or insightful, you’ve defaulted to the easy way out.
Moreover, big winners have heard these same expressions so often that they’ve lost all meaning. They no longer evoke real emotion or connection because they’ve been overused to exhaustion. When someone who has built a reputation for creativity, intellect, and innovation hears a cliché, it becomes a glaring symbol of someone who isn’t taking the conversation seriously. Instead of thinking, “I wonder what this person is trying to say,” they’ll think, “This person is following the script, not writing their own.”
In their world, clichés aren’t just annoying—they signal that the conversation isn’t worth their time. They’ll quickly tune out mentally or physically because they’ve been conditioned to expect more. They are constantly surrounded by original thinkers and people who push boundaries. When someone falls back on clichés, it’s a clear signal that they’re not in the same league.
Stepping Beyond the Cliché
Be on guard. Don’t use any clichés when chatting with big winners. Don’t even touch one with a ten-foot pole. Never? Not even when the hell freezes over? Not unless you want to sound dumb as a doorknob. Instead of coughing up a cliché, roll your clever phrases by using the next technique.
Mouthing a common cliché around uncommonly successful people brands you as uncommonly common.
Technique #30 – Don’t Touch a Cliché with a Ten-Foot Pole
Now that we understand the pitfalls of clichés, the next step is learning to step beyond them and elevate your communication. It all starts with awareness. When you think of a phrase used so often, it becomes a part of your linguistic reflex, so stop. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to think. What else can you say? How can you express the same idea in a unique and personal way?
One way to avoid clichés is by focusing on the specificity of your experience. Instead of saying, “I was busy as a bee,” describe your actions. Were you juggling multiple important projects? Were you in the middle of a crucial meeting requiring all your attention? Saying something like “I was balancing several strategic initiatives today” avoids the cliché and provides more depth and insight into your day. This response makes you sound more competent and shows that you’re engaged in meaningful work.
Similarly, instead of defaulting to “as rich as Croesus” to describe someone’s wealth, try giving a more nuanced description. “They’ve built an empire from the ground up, creating an entirely new market.” This avoids the cliché and illustrates the individual’s accomplishment more impressively and thoughtfully. It paints a vivid picture of success rather than relying on a tired metaphor.
Another way to step beyond clichés is to use unique metaphors or analogies. What experience resonates with your listener? What concept from your life illustrates a point? This requires more mental effort, but it rewards you with an authenticity that will resonate deeply with those you’re speaking with.
Don’t be afraid to experiment with new language and ways of expressing yourself. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. If you make a habit of challenging yourself to speak without relying on clichés, you’ll find that your language begins to evolve naturally. And the best part? People will notice. You’ll start to see that your conversations become more engaging, more impactful, and more memorable.
The Power of Originality
Originality is one of the most powerful tools in communication, especially when dealing with high achievers. When you speak originally, you not only capture attention but also convey that you are someone who thinks for themselves and values the creative process. In a world where many people follow the same paths and repeat the same phrases, originality is a commodity. It signals that you stand out from the crowd and are willing to take risks in communicating.
Being original doesn’t mean you have to reinvent the wheel every time you speak. It means finding ways to express yourself that feel true to your experiences, ideas, and personality. This kind of communication reveals that you are thoughtful and deliberate about your words. It shows that you don’t just accept the status quo but actively seek to reshape how things are understood.
When you rely on clichés, you reinforce the idea that you’re just another face in the crowd. Your language mirrors those around you, and you lose the opportunity to make a lasting impression. But when you speak with originality, you separate yourself from the noise. You show that you’re capable of thinking critically and creatively, which are qualities that highly successful people value deeply.
Originality also has a contagious effect. When you speak in a unique and compelling way, it invites others to do the same. Your conversations will take on a new energy, and you’ll find that people are more likely to engage with you on a deeper level. Originality fosters connection. It allows others to see the world through your eyes, a rare and valuable gift in today’s world.
Being original doesn’t require you to reinvent language completely. It requires you to be mindful of your words and to avoid relying on shortcuts like clichés. By doing this, you empower yourself to speak authentically, meaningfully, and in a memorable way. This is the true power of language—the ability to express yourself in a way that stands out, creates impact and leaves a lasting impression.
Conclusion: Speak Like a Winner
So, the next time you’re engaging with someone who has reached the pinnacle of their field, remember this: the power of your words is not in how familiar or comfortable they feel. It’s in how fresh, thoughtful, and original they are. Big winners are constantly surrounded by the ordinary, so what they crave most is the extraordinary. By ditching clichés and expressing yourself with creativity and authenticity, you elevate your communication to match their level. After all, it’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it that makes all the difference.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.