Anxiety is an all-too-familiar companion for many of us, creeping into our lives when we least expect it. Whether it’s work stress, relationship worries, or the general pressure of daily life, the feeling can be overwhelming. While it’s impossible to completely eliminate anxiety, there are effective ways to manage it—both quickly and over time.
This article explores five quick techniques that can provide immediate relief from anxiety, and one slow, long-term method that will help you build resilience against it. From simple breathing exercises to more profound lifestyle changes, these strategies suggested by Mark Manson can empower you to reclaim control over your emotional well-being, helping you manage anxiety with confidence and ease.
1. Breathing Techniques: The Quick Reset
Anxiety has a way of gripping us physically. It doesn’t just affect our mind, it’s deeply intertwined with our body. When we experience anxiety, our body enters a heightened state of alert, and one of the first places this manifests is in our breathing patterns. Rather than slow, deep breaths, anxiety triggers rapid, shallow breathing that only worsens feelings of panic. This shallow breathing prevents the lungs from fully expanding, leading to decreased oxygen levels in the blood and increasing physical tension. The result? An intensifying sense of unease.
Breathing techniques are an immediate, accessible solution because they focus on restoring the body’s natural rhythms. By consciously controlling your breath, you signal to your nervous system that it’s time to relax, counteracting the stress response. One of the most effective techniques for this is the 4-7-8 method. It’s simple yet profound:
- Inhale through your nose for four seconds.
- Hold your breath for seven seconds.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for eight seconds.
This breathing cycle helps to bring calm to both the body and mind. The key to its effectiveness lies in the slow exhalation. Extended exhalations activate the parasympathetic nervous system (also known as the “rest and digest” system), which is responsible for calming us down. In turn, this breathing pattern reduces heart rate and muscle tension, allowing the body to physically unwind.
A critical aspect of this technique is the emphasis on breathing through the diaphragm, rather than the chest. Diaphragmatic breathing helps maximize the amount of oxygen entering your lungs and ensures more efficient blood flow throughout the body. Imagine filling up your lungs from the bottom (your diaphragm) up to the top. This deep, belly-based breathing can be incredibly grounding. If you were to watch yourself in the mirror as you did this, you’d notice your belly expanding as you inhale. This is how you know you’re utilizing the diaphragm properly.
One notable benefit of diaphragmatic breathing is its ability to help with sleep. If your mind races at night and you find yourself tossing and turning, trying this technique can be incredibly effective in calming both your mind and body. This practice prepares the body for rest and relaxes the muscles, making it easier to fall asleep.
For those who may struggle with anxiety during particularly intense moments, practicing these breathing techniques beforehand—when you’re calm—can also be helpful. In doing so, you condition your body to respond to anxiety triggers more efficiently, enabling you to feel more in control when anxiety strikes. However, it’s important to note that the 4-7-8 technique doesn’t work for everyone. A very small percentage of people might feel more anxious when trying this technique due to hyperventilation or overbreathing. If this happens, it’s best to switch to another method that suits your needs better. The goal is always to find what works for you.
In addition to the 4-7-8 technique, you can experiment with other breathing exercises. For example, the Box Breathing technique involves inhaling for four seconds, holding for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds, and holding again for four seconds. This is another great option if the 4-7-8 method feels too difficult or doesn’t give you the desired relief. The versatility of these breathing techniques makes them a reliable tool that you can integrate into your daily routine or use in the heat of the moment to find quick relief.
2. Meditation: A Daily Dose of Calm
Meditation is often touted as a cure-all for anxiety, but the truth is, it’s not a quick fix. It requires patience and consistency. However, when practiced regularly, meditation is one of the most transformative methods for long-term anxiety management. The reason meditation is so effective lies in its ability to help you separate your thoughts and emotions from your immediate reactions.
When anxiety hits, it can feel like a tsunami—an overwhelming flood of negative thoughts and feelings that you can’t seem to stop. Meditation, however, trains your mind to approach these thoughts differently. Instead of getting swept away by the current, you learn to observe your thoughts from a distance. This creates a sense of space between you and your feelings, which is critical in moments of intense anxiety.
Meditation doesn’t need to be elaborate or intimidating. It’s not about achieving a state of perfect stillness or reaching some spiritual pinnacle. It’s simply about becoming more aware of your mental state, focusing on your breath, and learning to let thoughts pass without engaging with them. This practice has profound benefits for anxiety because it helps rewire your brain to be less reactive.
The most accessible form of meditation for beginners is mindfulness meditation. You don’t need to be a meditation expert to benefit from it. Start by finding a quiet space, sitting comfortably, and closing your eyes. Focus on your breath as it enters and exits your body. As you focus, you’ll likely notice thoughts intruding—perhaps worries about the future or past regrets. Instead of reacting to these thoughts or getting frustrated with yourself, simply observe them. Notice them without judgment, and then gently guide your attention back to your breath.
The beauty of mindfulness meditation is that it teaches you to be present. In moments of anxiety, our minds tend to race, jumping from one thought to another. Meditation helps you slow this process down, teaching you to focus on the present moment. Over time, this builds your ability to stay grounded in the now, even when anxiety tries to pull you away. The more you meditate, the less likely you are to get caught up in the spiral of anxious thinking.
Another reason meditation works so well for anxiety is that it encourages a non-judgmental attitude toward your thoughts. In daily life, we tend to label emotions like anxiety as “bad” or “wrong.” This judgment amplifies the negative feelings. Meditation trains you to recognize that anxiety, like any emotion, is simply a part of your experience. It’s neither good nor bad—it just is. By acknowledging anxiety without judgment, you take away some of its power to disrupt your mental peace.
Meditation also improves emotional regulation. As you practice, you become more adept at observing your emotions without getting swept up in them. This ability to witness your feelings—whether they are anxiety, anger, or sadness—without reacting impulsively, allows you to approach life’s challenges with greater calm and composure.
The beauty of meditation is that it requires no special tools, no complex techniques—just your willingness to sit with yourself and breathe. If you’re new to meditation, start with five-minute sessions. You can find guided meditation apps or videos to help you get started. As you continue, you’ll notice that you become more comfortable with the practice, and it may even start to feel like a necessary part of your daily routine.
For those who struggle with maintaining a regular practice, setting a reminder to meditate at the same time each day can help build consistency. Whether it’s first thing in the morning, during lunch, or right before bed, the key is making it a habit. Over time, meditation will become a reliable tool that you can lean on whenever anxiety arises. You’ll begin to notice that you react to stress with greater ease and that your ability to navigate anxious situations improves.
3. Talk to Someone: The Power of Connection
When we experience anxiety, our natural instinct may be to retreat inward, thinking that we should handle things alone. It’s easy to fall into the trap of isolation, thinking that our struggles are unique to us and that no one else could possibly understand. However, this sense of isolation can often amplify the anxiety, creating a sense of helplessness and exaggerating the weight of our problems. The simple truth is: we’re not meant to face difficult emotions like anxiety in isolation. Human beings are inherently social creatures, and connection with others plays a vital role in emotional regulation.
Talking to someone about what you’re going through has an immediate, profound impact on your emotional state. It can help you feel heard, validated, and, most importantly, supported. When you verbalize your anxiety, you take the abstract and sometimes overwhelming feelings in your mind and put them into words. This process alone can help diffuse the intensity of your emotions, making the anxiety seem less insurmountable.
When you talk about your anxiety, you gain a new perspective. Often, the people in our lives have the ability to offer insights or reminders that we can’t see when we’re trapped in the grip of anxiety. For instance, when you share a worry, the other person might say, “Hey, I’ve been there, too. It’s tough, but you’ll get through it,” or “I know it feels overwhelming right now, but you’re handling it better than you think.” These simple reassurances can remind you that you’re not alone, and they often offer the clarity needed to see that your fears may be exaggerated or disproportionate.
The act of talking to someone also helps normalize your experience. Anxiety has a way of convincing you that you’re the only one who feels this way, leading to shame and self-doubt. However, when you open up, you quickly realize that anxiety is something many people experience, and the feelings you’re having are shared by others. This shared vulnerability fosters empathy, and empathy can be one of the most powerful tools for reducing the emotional weight of anxiety.
There are many avenues for finding someone to talk to—friends, family, or even a professional therapist or counselor. Even if you don’t have someone in your immediate circle, online communities, support groups, and anonymous helplines can offer solace and understanding. The key is to reach out when you feel overwhelmed, whether it’s a friend you trust, a mentor, or a therapist who can offer a professional perspective.
In addition, talking can help you better understand the source of your anxiety. Sometimes, when we don’t articulate our thoughts, they remain vague and hard to manage. But when you voice them to someone else, the process of discussing and unpacking them often leads to clarity. For example, you might start by saying, “I’m feeling anxious about work,” and after talking it through, you realize that the anxiety stems from a specific project deadline or a difficult conversation you need to have. This kind of insight can make the anxiety more manageable because it moves from being a nebulous, overwhelming emotion to a clear, actionable concern.
Moreover, talking to someone you trust fosters a sense of safety. It allows you to be vulnerable in a space where judgment is minimized, and compassion is amplified. This sense of psychological safety is crucial for reducing anxiety because it gives you the room to process your feelings without fear of rejection or dismissal.
If you find yourself consistently overwhelmed by anxiety, it might also be beneficial to talk to a mental health professional. Therapy offers a safe, structured environment where you can explore the underlying causes of your anxiety, learn coping mechanisms, and receive expert guidance tailored to your unique situation. Therapy can also help you develop long-term strategies for managing anxiety, helping you navigate life’s challenges with greater emotional resilience.
4. Negative Visualization: Embrace the Worst-Case Scenario
At first glance, the concept of negative visualization might seem paradoxical, even counterproductive. After all, if you’re feeling anxious, why would you want to focus on the worst possible outcome? Isn’t it better to stay optimistic? However, the practice of negative visualization is a powerful and surprisingly effective tool for managing anxiety, especially for those prone to overthinking and catastrophizing.
Negative visualization is rooted in Stoic philosophy, a school of thought that emphasizes accepting uncertainty and learning to live with discomfort. The essence of negative visualization is simple: instead of avoiding your fears or pretending they don’t exist, you confront them head-on. You intentionally imagine the worst-case scenario—the thing you fear most—and then reflect on how you would handle it. By mentally preparing for these outcomes, you rob them of their power to surprise and overwhelm you. The anxiety you feel around potential disasters diminishes because you’ve already mentally rehearsed how you would cope with them.
For example, if you’re anxious about an upcoming presentation, you might imagine everything going wrong—forgetting your lines, stumbling over your words, or failing to engage your audience. You might visualize the awkward silence that follows, the judgmental looks from the audience, or even the embarrassment you’d feel afterward. This may sound painful, but the goal is not to dwell on the negativity. Instead, it’s to accept that these situations, while uncomfortable, are survivable.
Once you’ve imagined the worst, ask yourself: How would you cope with it? How would you handle the fallout? The answers to these questions are often surprisingly simple and reassuring. In the case of a presentation, maybe the worst-case scenario involves some minor embarrassment, but you could handle it by laughing it off, apologizing for the slip-up, and moving on. Or perhaps, if you mess up, you could simply accept that everyone makes mistakes, and that failure is part of the learning process.
Negative visualization doesn’t aim to make you feel bad or helpless. Instead, it offers a sense of empowerment. By mentally facing your fears and imagining your own capacity to cope, you build a mental framework that reduces the emotional impact of anxiety. You realize that, even in the worst-case scenario, you would survive—and that surviving those situations isn’t as catastrophic as your anxiety may make it seem.
Additionally, negative visualization helps to prevent unrealistic expectations. People with anxiety often set themselves up for disappointment by expecting perfection or success without difficulty. By imagining failure, you set more realistic standards for yourself. Instead of thinking, “I must nail this presentation perfectly,” you learn to accept that imperfections are part of the process and that you can handle them with grace. This approach is much healthier and can ultimately reduce the fear of failure that underlies much anxiety.
What’s more, practicing negative visualization reduces the emotional intensity of anxiety over time. The more you face your fears and imagine the worst, the less power they have over you. Anxiety thrives in the realm of uncertainty—when we don’t know what might happen or how we’ll handle it. By mentally walking through worst-case scenarios and reflecting on your ability to cope, you gain confidence in your ability to deal with challenges, regardless of the outcome.
For those who find themselves consistently anxious about specific outcomes (e.g., losing a job, a breakup, or a failed project), negative visualization can provide clarity. It allows you to step out of the anxiety spiral and look at the situation from a more rational, grounded perspective. When you recognize that you can handle adversity, your anxiety begins to lose its grip. The more often you use this technique, the more prepared and resilient you become in facing life’s inevitable uncertainties.
5. Physical Activity: Move Your Body, Calm Your Mind
Physical activity is a well-documented antidote to anxiety, and for good reason. The connection between the body and the mind is profound—our mental state has a direct impact on our physical health, and conversely, our physical state can greatly influence our emotional well-being. Exercise, in particular, is one of the most effective and accessible methods for managing anxiety, and it works in multiple ways to reduce stress and promote relaxation.
When we engage in physical activity, whether it’s a light walk, yoga session, or intense workout, our bodies release endorphins, which are chemicals that naturally elevate our mood and reduce pain. These chemicals create a sense of euphoria often referred to as the “runner’s high,” and they help to combat the negative effects of stress hormones, such as cortisol, which are released when we’re anxious. By consistently incorporating physical activity into your routine, you can help regulate your body’s response to stress and foster a more resilient, calm state of mind.
But the benefits of exercise don’t stop at the hormonal level. Physical activity also reduces muscle tension, which is a common manifestation of anxiety. When we feel anxious, we tend to tense up our muscles—our shoulders rise, our jaw tightens, and our body becomes rigid. Exercise helps to release this built-up tension, allowing your body to relax and letting go of the physical discomfort that often accompanies anxiety. In fact, many people report feeling significantly more relaxed and at ease after a good workout, as their bodies are literally less tense and more limber.
Beyond the immediate effects, regular exercise has a profound impact on your overall resilience to stress. When you exercise consistently, you strengthen not only your body but also your mental resilience. Exercise helps you build stamina—not just physical stamina, but emotional stamina as well. By pushing through physical challenges, whether it’s running a mile, lifting weights, or holding a yoga pose, you develop the mental toughness to push through anxiety as well. This enhanced ability to push through discomfort carries over into your day-to-day life, enabling you to manage anxious thoughts or situations with more grace and less stress.
Another key benefit of physical activity is that it helps you break free from the constant cycle of anxious thoughts. Anxiety often comes from our inability to focus on anything other than the source of our stress. We might ruminate over a conversation, replay a stressful event in our minds, or imagine worst-case scenarios. However, exercise forces your attention to shift. Whether it’s the rhythm of your breath during a run or the concentration needed for strength training, exercise redirects your focus away from the worry and into the present moment. This shift in focus is invaluable for breaking the cycle of overthinking and helps to ease the grip of anxiety in real-time.
Physical activity also fosters a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy. Completing a workout, even a short one, gives you a tangible sense of achievement. This can be particularly important for people who struggle with self-esteem or feel overwhelmed by their anxiety. As you engage in consistent physical activity, you not only improve your health but also boost your self-confidence. You begin to realize that you are capable of pushing through discomfort, whether it’s physical or emotional, and that you are more resilient than you might have previously thought.
The beauty of exercise as a tool for managing anxiety is that it can be customized to your preferences. Whether you prefer low-impact activities like walking, swimming, or yoga, or you’re drawn to higher-intensity workouts like running, cycling, or strength training, the goal is to find an activity that you enjoy and that gets you moving. Even activities like dancing or gardening can provide the same benefits. The key is consistency—if you make physical activity a regular part of your life, you will gradually notice significant improvements in your ability to manage anxiety and stress.
Exercise also promotes better sleep, another key factor in managing anxiety. When we experience stress and anxiety, sleep is often one of the first things to suffer. Physical activity helps to regulate sleep patterns, promote deeper rest, and reduce the effects of insomnia that many people with anxiety experience. As you exercise and sleep improves, your overall anxiety levels decrease, creating a positive feedback loop of improved mood and health.
6. The Slow Way: Get Better at Handling Anxiety Over Time
While the quick techniques we’ve discussed—such as breathing exercises, meditation, and physical activity—offer immediate relief from anxiety, the long-term solution lies in a slower, more deliberate process of getting better at handling anxiety over time. This approach doesn’t promise to eliminate anxiety, but it does offer a way to coexist with it, reducing its power and impact on your life. In essence, the slow way is about building resilience so that anxiety no longer dictates your actions or emotions.
One of the most important elements of handling anxiety over time is self-empowerment. The more confident and capable you feel in handling life’s challenges, the less likely anxiety is to overwhelm you. Anxiety often stems from feelings of uncertainty, inadequacy, and a lack of control. When you improve your skills, knowledge, and emotional intelligence, you develop greater self-efficacy—the belief that you can handle whatever comes your way, including anxiety.
For instance, imagine a person who frequently feels anxious about public speaking. Initially, their anxiety might stem from fear of failure, embarrassment, or judgment. But over time, by practicing and improving their public speaking skills, they begin to feel more confident. As they build their abilities, they reduce the power of the anxiety because they now trust in their capability to perform. Eventually, the anxiety doesn’t disappear, but it becomes a manageable, background feeling instead of an overwhelming force.
The key to managing anxiety in the long run is to accept it rather than fight it. Many people try to eradicate anxiety completely, believing that the goal is to never feel anxious. However, this mindset sets you up for failure because anxiety is a natural human response to stress and uncertainty. Instead of trying to eliminate it, the focus should be on accepting that anxiety is part of the human experience and learning how to live with it in a healthy way. This acceptance removes the pressure to always feel calm, which paradoxically reduces the intensity of the anxiety itself.
Building resilience also involves exposing yourself to discomfort and gradually increasing your ability to cope. Just like physical fitness, emotional fitness requires training. If you shy away from uncomfortable situations, your anxiety will only grow stronger over time. But by deliberately putting yourself in situations that challenge you—whether it’s public speaking, difficult conversations, or facing a personal fear—you gradually teach yourself to handle the discomfort that anxiety brings. This doesn’t mean you need to push yourself into situations that are overwhelming, but it does mean that, over time, you can increase your tolerance for anxiety and stress.
This slow and steady approach to managing anxiety also involves developing a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset believe that their abilities and emotions can improve through effort and practice. By adopting this mindset, you shift from a fixed belief that “I am just an anxious person” to a more empowered belief that “I can learn to manage my anxiety better.” This shift allows you to see challenges as opportunities to grow rather than threats to your emotional well-being.
Another powerful element of this slow process is building your emotional toolkit. As you become more adept at managing anxiety, you’ll also develop a greater variety of coping mechanisms that work for you. For example, you might become more skilled at mindfulness, journaling, or cognitive reframing—techniques that help you manage your thoughts and feelings in the moment. The more tools you have at your disposal, the more equipped you’ll feel when anxiety arises. Over time, you’ll gain the confidence to use these tools effectively, knowing that you have a wide range of strategies to draw on.
As you continue to build your resilience, anxiety becomes less of a barrier and more of a signal. It’s no longer something that dominates your life; instead, it serves as a reminder that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to grow. This shift in perspective allows you to live more fully, with a greater sense of control and peace. The anxiety may still be there, but it no longer has the same power to disrupt your life or stop you from pursuing your goals.
In the long run, the key to managing anxiety is not eliminating it, but learning to live with it in a way that doesn’t prevent you from moving forward. By accepting anxiety, building your emotional resilience, and consistently facing challenges, you’ll develop the confidence and skills needed to handle anxiety more effectively. And as you continue to improve, you’ll find that your anxiety becomes more manageable, no longer controlling you or dictating how you live your life.
Conclusion
Anxiety may never fully disappear, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it control your life. The quick methods we discussed—breathing exercises, meditation, and physical activity—offer immediate relief that can help you manage anxiety in the moment. However, the true key to overcoming anxiety in the long term lies in developing resilience and emotional strength.
By consistently practicing these techniques and gradually building confidence in your ability to handle stress, you’ll find that anxiety becomes less of an obstacle and more of a manageable part of your journey. With time and effort, you can transform your relationship with anxiety and move forward with greater peace and self-assurance.