Imagine having a powerful tool at your disposal that could open doors, spark lasting relationships, and even create a memorable impression on anyone you meet. What if this tool was as simple as a compliment, but not just any compliment—something so specific, so personal, that it instantly made someone feel seen and appreciated? This is the magic of the Killer Compliment. Whether you want to make a business connection, start a meaningful friendship, or leave a lasting mark on someone, the Killer Compliment is a game-changer. But like any powerful weapon, it must be used with care. Here’s how you can master the art of the Killer Compliment and ensure that you’re unforgettable.
The Birth of the Killer Compliment
The origins of the Killer Compliment are rooted in an unexpectedly simple moment one evening when I returned home from a holiday party with my roommate, Christine. The festive energy from the event still lingered in the air as we walked through the door. Christine had a mischievous grin, and her eyes looked faraway as though she was lost in a pleasant reverie. She was clearly in a good mood, but something about her appearance wasn’t just your ordinary post-party glow.
Curious, I couldn’t help but ask, “Christine, are you OK?”
She looked at me, her face lighting up as she responded with an almost dreamy voice. “Oh yes,” she said with a hint of satisfaction. “I’m going out with that man.”
I was immediately puzzled. “Man? What man?” I asked, wondering if she was referring to someone we had met at the party.
Her response was almost offhand, but her expression told me I should know exactly who she was talking about. “Oh, you know, the one who told me I had beautiful teeth.”
Teeth? I thought, genuinely bewildered. A compliment about teeth? How could that possibly be enough to make her so happy? Yet, as the night went on, I couldn’t help but notice how deeply she seemed affected by it.
Later, I began to understand when I walked past the bathroom door and saw Christine grinning at herself in the mirror, carefully brushing each tooth with a new sense of appreciation. She wasn’t just brushing her teeth—she was savoring the compliment. That simple, seemingly inconsequential remark had made her feel special. She was experiencing a rush of confidence because someone had noticed something unique about her—something personal. This was when the idea for the Killer Compliment was born.
The Killer Compliment is a type of praise that goes beyond surface-level pleasantries. It’s not just about acknowledging the obvious or the expected. It’s about finding something specific, something personal that others might overlook, and highlighting it in a way that feels deeply meaningful. This compliment resonates because it feels genuine and individual, unlike the bland comments we often give without thinking.
What is the Killer Compliment?
Whenever you are talking with a stranger you’d like to make part of your professional or personal future, search for one attractive, specific, and unique quality he or she has.
Look the individual right in the eye at the end of the conversation. Say his or her name and proceed to curl all ten toes with the Killer Compliment.
Technique #55 – Killer Compliment
- Rule #1: Deliver your Killer Compliment to the recipient in private
- Rule #2: Make your Killer Compliment credible
- Rule #3: Confer only one Killer Compliment per half year on each recipient
The essence of the Killer Compliment lies in its ability to make the recipient feel truly seen. Unlike generic compliments such as “I like your tie” or “You look great today,” which are pleasant but impersonal, a Killer Compliment speaks directly to a person’s uniqueness. It’s not simply a surface-level observation; it’s a thoughtful recognition of something specific about them that makes them stand out from the crowd.
A Killer Compliment is all about specificity. Rather than giving a broad compliment, you zoom in on one aspect of the person’s appearance, character, or behavior that caught your attention. For example, telling someone, “You have such exquisite eyes,” is a compliment that does more than simply acknowledge a physical feature—it highlights the beauty of that feature in a genuine and specific way. Likewise, telling someone, “There’s something about your energy that’s so calming.” is a compliment that speaks to a personality trait that might otherwise go unnoticed.
The magic of the Killer Compliment is that it feels like an observation made only for that person. It is personal and resonates on a deeper level because it reflects something about them that is meaningful and unique. Unlike more casual compliments that anyone might give, a Killer Compliment feels like a gift because it shows that you’ve taken the time to notice something that makes them who they are.
The Trick to Mastering the Killer Compliment
Delivering a Killer Compliment may sound simple in theory, but giving such a personal, specific compliment can be intimidating for many people. It’s natural to feel awkward or self-conscious when you first attempt to deliver one, as it requires stepping beyond the comfort zone of generic compliments and into a more intimate space. However, there is a simple way to practice delivering the Killer Compliment without the pressure of doing it perfectly the first time.
During one of my seminars, I often ask participants to close their eyes and think about a partner they were paired with for a previous exercise. I instruct them to focus on one specific physical or personality-based quality they noticed about the other person but wouldn’t normally comment on. Perhaps it’s how their smile lights up their whole face or how they handle stress gracefully. The goal is to identify something unique and specific that made them stand out in a way that went beyond the obvious.
Once they’ve identified the quality, I give them the task of delivering their compliment to their partner. It’s amazing to watch as the initial hesitation turns into courage as participants seek out their partners and deliver their Killer Compliment. The moment they do, the room is filled with laughter, smiles, and joy. There’s something deeply satisfying about giving and receiving a compliment that feels so personal and authentic. It’s a reminder that people love to feel appreciated for who they truly are, not just for what they do or how they look.
The key to mastering the Killer Compliment is to practice noticing and acknowledging what makes others unique. When you actively observe those details, a genuine compliment becomes easier and more natural. Over time, offering sincere, specific praise that leaves a lasting impression becomes second nature.
The Killer Compliment User’s Manual
While the Killer Compliment is undoubtedly a powerful tool, it’s important to use it thoughtfully. Like any potent tool, it can backfire if not wielded with care. For the Killer Compliment to be effective, you must follow a few key guidelines to ensure your praise doesn’t appear insincere, awkward, or inappropriate. Below are the essential rules for delivering the Killer Compliment without damaging your credibility or the recipient’s comfort.
Rule #1: Deliver It in Private
One of the most common mistakes people make when giving a compliment is offering it in a public setting, especially in front of a group. When you single out one person for a compliment in a crowd, others can feel excluded or even judged. Imagine telling one woman in a group how fit she looks—the other women may immediately feel self-conscious about their appearance. Or, if you compliment a man on his posture, the others may feel like they’re being compared to him. This can lead to discomfort and even resentment, especially if the recipient is suddenly put in the spotlight.
To avoid these uncomfortable situations, always offer the Killer Compliment in private, away from the gaze of others. This allows the recipient to feel truly special without the pressure of everyone else’s judgment. A private moment makes the compliment feel more intimate and sincere, as it’s clear that your words are meant solely for them.
Rule #2: Make It Credible
A compliment only has power when it feels genuine. If you offer a compliment that doesn’t align with your beliefs, it will be transparent and lose effectiveness. For example, if you don’t have an ear for music, don’t compliment someone on their singing voice. They will likely sense that your praise isn’t grounded in understanding. Similarly, if you praise someone for their skills in an area you know little about, your compliment will feel superficial and insincere.
The key to making a Killer Compliment work is to ensure it’s based on something you genuinely appreciate. For example, if you admire someone’s attention to detail, don’t hesitate to say so. If you notice their kindness or generosity, acknowledge that as well. The more authentic your compliment is, the more impact it will have. People can tell when your words are heartfelt, and they will appreciate the sincerity.
Rule #3: Use It Sparingly
While the Killer Compliment is a powerful tool, it’s important not to overuse it. Offering too many compliments can make them feel less meaningful and even be manipulative. When you use the Killer Compliment too often, it loses its effectiveness and can begin to feel forced. It’s essential to reserve this type of compliment for moments when it genuinely fits the situation.
When used sparingly and thoughtfully, the Killer Compliment remains impactful. It feels like a rare gift, earned rather than expected. By choosing the right moments to deliver a Killer Compliment, you ensure that your words carry weight and that the recipient feels truly special when they hear them.
How to Make ‘Em Never Forget You with a Killer Compliment
Now that you know the rules, let’s discuss using the Killer Compliment to leave a lasting impression. The Killer Compliment can be your secret weapon, whether you’re trying to build a professional connection or create a personal bond. To make the greatest impact, focus on finding something unique about the person who stands out to you—something they may not hear daily.
When conversing with someone you want to connect with, take the time to observe them. What is it about them that’s captivating or interesting? It could be something as simple as their smile, how they carry themselves, or how they interact with others. Pay attention to those little details that make them special.
Once you’ve identified something that stands out, wait for the right moment to deliver your Killer Compliment. As you finish the conversation, look them in the eye and say their name. Then, with complete sincerity, tell them what you’ve noticed. For example, if their calm demeanor has struck you, say, “You have an incredible sense of peace about you. It’s truly refreshing.” Or, if you’ve noticed a remarkable sense of humor, you could say, “Your sense of humor is so sharp and quick. It brightens up the room.”
Delivering a specific, personal, and heartfelt compliment makes a lasting impression. The recipient will remember how you made them feel and be more likely to think of you in the future. It’s a simple yet powerful way to create meaningful connections that last.
Conclusion
The Killer Compliment isn’t just about giving praise—it’s about making a lasting connection with someone by noticing and acknowledging something unique and meaningful about them. When used correctly, it can forge relationships, elevate conversations, and make you memorable in a way few others can. By offering a sincere, personal compliment at the right moment, you show people that you see them for who they truly are—and that’s a gift that goes far beyond any superficial praise. So, the next time you want to leave a lasting impression, remember: it’s not about what you say but how deeply you notice.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.