We’ve all been there—those moments when even the most articulate conversationalists are at a loss for words. It’s as if the well of dialogue has run dry, and you’re left grappling for something meaningful to say.
The other person, perhaps giving you only monosyllabic responses, isn’t providing much fodder for your conversational prowess. This is the conversational wall, a formidable challenge for even the most adept communicators.
But fret not, for in these moments of stagnation, a clever technique known as “Parroting” can swoop in to rescue the conversation. Imagine this method as the tropical bird it’s named after—a parrot, which captures hearts by effortlessly repeating the words of others.
The Power of Parroting
Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.
Technique #20 – Parroting
Parroting is not just a whimsical trick; it’s a sophisticated tool for fostering deeper connections in any conversation. At its core, Parroting is about actively engaging with the other person’s words, a technique that hinges on human psychology and communication dynamics. At their best, conversations are a seamless exchange of ideas, but they often stall when one person gives a monosyllabic response ,or a topic runs dry. This is where Parroting becomes indispensable.
When we converse, we engage in a rhythm, a back-and-forth exchange where one person speaks, then the other listens, and vice versa. This is how natural dialogue flows. However, the flow stops when the conversation hits a lull—whether due to lack of enthusiasm or simply an awkward silence. Parroting, when used correctly, reactivates this rhythm. By repeating the last few words of your conversation partner, you keep the conversation going and signal that you are truly listening and that their words matter. This act shows that you’re engaged; people naturally need to elaborate when they sense interest.
The beauty of this technique is that it isn’t merely about mechanical repetition; it’s about creating an inviting space for the other person to express themselves further. This technique isn’t confined to one-on-one conversations or certain environments—it’s universally applicable. Parroting brings the conversation back to life, whether you’re speaking with a friend, participating in a work meeting, or engaging in a sales conversation. A subtle cue signals, “I’m listening,” and encourages the other person to share more. What makes Parroting so effective is that it doesn’t interrupt or dominate the flow of conversation; it simply enhances it by allowing the speaker to feel heard and understood.
A Simple Trick to Keep the Ball Rolling
The trick with Parroting is its simplicity—its ability to reignite a conversation with minimal effort. When you’re in a conversation, and your mind goes blank, the last thing you want to do is stumble or appear disengaged. Rather than scrambling for the next thing to say, repeat your partner’s last words in a questioning tone. It sounds too easy, right? But this subtle technique works because it taps into an intrinsic part of human behavior: our desire to be heard.
When you repeat someone’s words, you keep the conversation going and create a sense of curiosity and engagement. Think about it—when someone parrots your words back to you, it feels good, doesn’t it? It makes you feel that your words matter, prompting you to expand on them to offer more context. By simply reflecting their words with a slight change in tone, you invite them to share more, naturally extending the conversation.
Take the example of a seemingly mundane conversation. You might be in a car with a friend, and they casually mention they went to the theater the night before. Most people might just nod or grunt in acknowledgment, signaling a lack of interest or a disconnection from the conversation. But by saying, “Theater?” with a questioning tone, you’ve just opened the door for them to elaborate. The shift is subtle but significant—you’re not pushing for more information directly but instead creating an opening for your partner to expand upon their initial statement. It’s an elegant way to nurture conversation without making it feel forced or awkward.
As the conversation progresses, Parroting allows you to keep momentum. The more you repeat and gently prod, the deeper the conversation goes. It becomes less about you filling the space with words and more about creating an engaging, reciprocal exchange where both parties actively participate. This small trick, simple as it is, can transform an ordinary conversation into something more interesting and dynamic, drawing out stories, opinions, and emotions that might not have otherwise come to light.
Parroting in the Real World: From Social Settings to Sales
Parroting is not confined to casual social settings. It’s widely used in professional and high-stakes environments, such as sales, negotiations, and client relations. In fact, some of the best salespeople and negotiators use Parroting to uncover their clients’ true desires and objections. It’s an invaluable tool because it allows the other person to fully articulate their feelings, often revealing details that are not immediately obvious.
Salespeople, for instance, deal with objections regularly—whether it’s about price, product features, or compatibility with a client’s needs. Many of these objections are not always fully stated or consciously recognized by the client. Parroting helps uncover these objections by encouraging clients to articulate their feelings more clearly, allowing the salesperson to respond accordingly. By simply repeating a key phrase, the salesperson signals to the client that they need to expand on their thoughts, providing a deeper understanding of what’s going on in their mind.
A great example of Parroting’s effectiveness is seen in Paul’s story, a used-car salesman. When showing a family man around the lot, Paul noticed the man’s hesitance when considering a family car. Instead of jumping to conclusions or immediately pushing the car’s features, Paul parroted, “Right for you?” This simple yet strategic repetition encouraged the prospect to reflect on the car’s compatibility with his personality, ultimately leading him to desire something sportier. By continuing the conversation with subtle Parroting, Paul guided the customer toward a Lamborghini—a far more expensive option that was a perfect fit. This moment, which might have otherwise been a missed opportunity, turned into a lucrative sale due to the power of Parroting.
For business professionals, the technique is a way to subtly guide conversations without appearing too forceful. Whether negotiating a contract or discussing sensitive terms, Parroting helps peel back the layers of what your counterpart truly wants. It creates a non-confrontational environment where both parties can communicate openly and transparently. The best negotiators understand that it’s not about dominating the conversation; it’s about fully understanding the other person’s position. By repeating key phrases in a sympathetic tone, you invite the other person to clarify their stance, allowing you to move the conversation in a beneficial direction for both sides.
How to Use Parroting in Your Conversations
To truly master Parroting requires more than just repeating words verbatim. It’s about understanding the rhythm of the conversation and inserting your responses at just the right moments. The technique works best when you listen actively, really tuning into the nuances of what the other person is saying. When you repeat a person’s words, you’re doing more than just mimicking them; you’re signaling that you’re engaged, interested, and open to hearing more.
A crucial part of Parroting is tone. When you parrot someone’s words, you must do so with a sympathetic and questioning tone. You aim to prompt them to elaborate, not simply mirror them back. The question in your tone invites the speaker to continue, and this subtle invitation makes Parroting so effective. For example, if someone says, “I’ve been thinking about going back to school,” you could respond with, “Back to school?” This isn’t just a mechanical repetition but an inquiry showing genuine interest and curiosity.
In addition to tone, Parroting requires good timing. You don’t want to parrot every word; instead, focus on the key phrases that carry the most weight. These are often the moments in the conversation where the person is revealing something significant. Parroting these key phrases demonstrates that you’re actively listening and allows you to build upon what’s being said, creating more space for them to elaborate further.
Once you’ve mastered Parroting, you’ll find it easier to keep conversations flowing naturally. It becomes a tool for fostering deeper engagement, especially when the conversation stalls or feels one-sided. By parrot-ing in an open, friendly tone, you empower the other person to share more, which enriches the conversation and keeps it moving forward.
Parroting as a Conversation Hack
In many conversations, especially with people you don’t know well, there’s an inherent pressure to keep the discussion interesting and engaging. The fear of awkward silence or running out of things to say can be overwhelming. Parroting removes that pressure by shifting the focus away from what you need to say and toward what your partner is saying. It’s an easy way to keep the conversation flowing smoothly, all while making the other person feel heard and valued.
Moreover, Parroting is not just for the extroverts or the talkative types—it’s a great tool for introverts, too. If you tend to find social situations draining or are more comfortable listening than speaking, Parroting allows you to participate in a conversation without feeling like you have to do all the talking. You’re not scrambling for the next big topic or trying to fill the silence with your thoughts. Instead, you simply reflect on the other person’s words, allowing them to lead the conversation.
Parroting also saves your energy during long conversations, particularly when the exchange is one-sided. If you’re in a situation where you don’t want to do all the talking but still want to remain engaged, you can rely on Parroting to guide the other person into sharing more. This technique lets you take a step back and let them do the talking, giving you the chance to rest or even step away without disrupting the flow. It’s a quiet yet effective way to manage your involvement in a conversation without appearing disengaged.
Ultimately, Parroting isn’t about manipulation; it’s about creating a more natural, engaging, and fluid dialogue. Whether you’re trying to keep a conversation going, delve deeper into someone’s thoughts, or just keep things moving smoothly, Parroting is a tool that’s simple, effective, and universally applicable. With this technique in your communication toolkit, you’ll never wonder, “What do I say next?”
Conclusion
Parroting is a powerful yet underutilized tool that can transform conversations in casual settings, professional meetings, or high-stakes sales negotiations. By simply repeating the last few words spoken by your conversation partner in a sympathetic and questioning tone, you encourage them to elaborate, keeping the dialogue alive and flowing.
Parroting helps you avoid awkward silences and fosters deeper engagement, building stronger connections and uncovering hidden thoughts or desires. Parroting is not about dominating the conversation but creating a space where both parties feel heard and valued. By mastering this simple trick, you will never wonder, “What do I say next?” again.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.