Are you tired of chasing happiness, only to find it slipping through your fingers? Do your efforts often seem to yield diminishing returns, leaving you frustrated and exhausted? Introducing “Backwards Law,” a paradoxical concept that might just change the way you perceive success, happiness, and life itself.
In this blog post, we’ll embark on a journey to unravel the mysteries of the Backwards Law and discover how embracing it can lead to profound transformations.
You see, sometimes, what you’ve always believed about effort and reward isn’t as straightforward as it seems.
So, dear reader, fasten your seatbelt, for we’re about to dive into the depths of this intriguing concept and learn how to navigate life’s complex currents with a newfound sense of empowerment. Let’s dive right in.
The Paradox of Drownproofing: Letting Go to Survive
The exercise of drownproofing, used in Navy SEAL training, provides an extraordinary lesson in the power of letting go. It’s not just a physical challenge—it’s a psychological one. The task is deceptively simple at first glance: you’re dropped into a pool, your hands bound behind your back, and your feet tied together. Your mission is to survive for five minutes. Most people, under such extreme conditions, would immediately attempt to fight the water, thrashing and kicking in a desperate bid to stay afloat. But, as counterintuitive as it may sound, the more you struggle, the more you risk sinking.
Why? Because this survival strategy operates on a paradox: survival doesn’t come from fighting the water, but from surrendering to it. The trick is to let yourself sink to the bottom. The more you try to fight, the more energy you waste. By allowing yourself to go under, you conserve oxygen and energy. When you finally reach the bottom, you can use the pressure and force from the depths to propel yourself back to the surface for air. It’s a rhythmic cycle: sink, push off, rise, breathe, and repeat. This paradoxical dance is what allows the person who can let go to survive.
This isn’t about physical prowess. It’s not about being the strongest swimmer or having incredible endurance. In fact, drownproofing demands the opposite. It demands a person’s ability to not swim, to not struggle, and instead to embrace a form of non-resistance. The key to survival is understanding that sometimes, the more you try to control the outcome, the less likely you are to achieve it.
In a way, this lesson about water and survival is a metaphor for much of life. We often push and push, trying to control every aspect of our experiences. We fight against situations, thinking that if we just try harder, we’ll overcome obstacles. But in many cases, our frantic efforts only exhaust us and make things worse. In life, just like in drownproofing, the act of letting go, of relinquishing control over things that are beyond our influence, often leads us to the solutions we’re seeking.
This applies to a variety of contexts: professional challenges, personal struggles, and even emotional battles. When we face setbacks or frustrations, our initial instinct is to fight harder, to force the desired outcome. But what if the solution was to stop struggling? What if, instead of pushing through every obstacle, we accepted that not everything is within our power to control? When we give ourselves permission to let go of the need to control, we might find that things become easier, more fluid, and ultimately more successful.
The Law of Diminishing Returns: When More Effort Isn’t Better
The Law of Diminishing Returns is an essential principle to understand when it comes to effort and reward. At first, it might seem logical that the more time and energy we put into something, the more we’ll gain from it. This belief is deeply ingrained in how we approach many of our daily tasks. For example, if we’re working on a project, we often believe that spending an extra hour will yield proportionally more results. But in reality, this doesn’t always hold true—especially when the activities are complex and require emotional, intellectual, or creative energy.
To illustrate this, let’s examine productivity. Early in the workday, the effort you put in is likely to yield good returns. The first few hours of focused work might produce meaningful progress. But as the hours stretch on, your output begins to decrease. After a certain point, working for longer periods doesn’t equate to more productivity. In fact, continuing to push yourself to work past your optimal limit leads to burnout, diminishing energy, and diminishing returns in the quality of the work produced.
This is true for other aspects of life as well. Think about relationships. If you’re starting with one or two close friends, the addition of another friend might significantly improve your social life. But, as the number of friends increases, the benefits start to plateau. Having 10 friends may not necessarily be 5 times better than having 2. In fact, having too many relationships can lead to feelings of overwhelm or social fatigue. The time and energy spent maintaining those friendships may outweigh the positive experiences they bring.
The principle of diminishing returns also applies to indulgence in life’s pleasures—things like eating, traveling, or even consuming entertainment. The first few bites of a delicious meal may bring immense satisfaction, but as you continue eating, the pleasure diminishes. The same applies to traveling. The first few trips may be exciting and enriching, but after a while, the novelty wears off. More often than not, overindulgence in these areas doesn’t result in greater satisfaction; it leads to a decline in enjoyment.
The Law of Diminishing Returns reminds us that more is not always better. In fact, it can often be the opposite. The longer you continue to pour energy into something, especially after reaching a certain threshold, the less rewarding it becomes. This holds true for anything that involves complexity or emotional engagement. Whether it’s work, relationships, or experiences, balance and moderation are key. Understanding this law can help us make smarter decisions about how to allocate our time and energy. We don’t need to keep pushing harder for the sake of pushing harder. Instead, it’s about finding that sweet spot where effort and reward align most effectively.
This principle also serves as a reminder that success isn’t always about doing more. Often, it’s about doing less but with greater focus and intention. By recognizing when to stop, when to ease up, and when to take a step back, we create more room for meaningful results. So, the next time you find yourself pushing to exhaustion, it may be time to pause and reflect: is more really better, or is less the key to moving forward?
The Inverted Curve: Where More Effort Leads to Less Reward
The concept of the inverted curve challenges our conventional understanding of effort and reward. We’re typically taught that the harder you work, the more you achieve, but what if that’s not the case in certain areas of life? The inverted curve is the strange territory where increased effort leads to negative outcomes—where the more you try to control or force something, the worse the results become.
Consider the pursuit of happiness. It’s often assumed that if we keep chasing happiness—whether through material gain, recognition, or social validation—we will eventually achieve it. However, the more we actively chase happiness, the more elusive it becomes. The act of wanting something so intensely actually pushes it further away. This is where the inverted curve comes into play. The more you desire happiness, the more you inadvertently reinforce the absence of it. When you focus all your energy on obtaining happiness, you’re constantly reminded that you don’t have it. Happiness, much like confidence, isn’t something that can be directly achieved through pursuit—it comes naturally when you stop desperately chasing it.
A similar dynamic applies to feelings of security or control. In an attempt to feel secure, we often over-plan, overthink, and try to control every aspect of our lives. This constant need to predict and manage every outcome creates anxiety, not security. The more we try to eliminate uncertainty, the more we generate fear about the unknown. In this sense, control becomes the very thing that undermines our peace of mind. The more effort we invest in controlling our circumstances, the less control we actually have.
Relationships offer another perfect example of the inverted curve. In many social contexts, we are taught to pursue connection, to seek out approval, and to create strong bonds. Yet, the harder we try to impress others or make them like us, the more likely we are to appear needy, desperate, or insincere. The more we chase approval, the less authentic our relationships become, and the more we alienate those we seek to connect with. Ironically, the key to forming genuine connections often lies in letting go of the need for validation and simply being yourself.
The inverted curve works within the realm of internal psychological experiences. Unlike external tasks, such as completing a project or achieving a goal, where more effort often leads to greater output, the internal processes of the mind don’t work the same way. The more you pursue an emotion, a state of mind, or a specific outcome, the more you risk pushing it away. This creates a paradox where desire and pursuit—two of the most natural impulses in human nature—are actually detrimental to reaching the desired outcome.
Understanding the inverted curve is crucial because it sheds light on an often-overlooked reality of human behavior. The things we most desire—happiness, love, confidence, peace—are not gained by forceful pursuit. Instead, they are achieved by learning to relax, to surrender control, and to allow these states of being to emerge organically. This insight can be liberating, as it reveals that we don’t have to fight for everything we want. In many cases, it’s by stopping the fight and accepting the natural flow of life that we get closer to the very things we seek.
Relinquishing Control: The Power of Letting Go
The idea of relinquishing control runs counter to much of modern society’s teachings. We are taught to be proactive, to take charge, and to assert control over every aspect of our lives. We are told that success comes from constant effort and relentless ambition. Yet, as we’ve explored, this approach doesn’t always work, especially when it comes to emotional and psychological well-being. The paradox is that sometimes, the best way to achieve what we want is by letting go and surrendering control.
Relinquishing control does not mean giving up. It is not about becoming passive or abandoning responsibility. Instead, it’s about recognizing the limits of our power and accepting that not everything is within our ability to control. There are forces—within ourselves and the world around us—that are beyond our control. Once we accept this reality, we free ourselves from the burden of trying to manage everything.
This doesn’t mean resigning ourselves to passivity or passively accepting negative circumstances. It’s about letting go of the need to manipulate every detail of our lives. For instance, there are times when we may feel insecure or doubtful. The instinctive reaction is often to push harder to feel confident. But this overcompensation can actually amplify feelings of insecurity. By acknowledging that we won’t always feel confident, but doing the thing anyway, we break the cycle of doubt. In many cases, the confidence we seek emerges only after we take action despite our fears.
Similarly, in relationships, the desire for approval can drive us to engage in behaviors that undermine the authenticity of our connections. The more we try to be liked, the more inauthentic we become. We push ourselves into molds to fit others’ expectations, and in doing so, we often alienate those we are trying to connect with. By relinquishing control over the need to impress others and simply being ourselves, we allow relationships to develop more naturally and genuinely.
The act of letting go is often associated with acceptance, but it is much more than passive resignation. It is a deliberate decision to stop fighting against the flow of life. It is about taking responsibility for what is within your control—your thoughts, your actions, your attitudes—and letting go of the things you cannot control. This acceptance of the unknown, of imperfection, and of failure, becomes a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being.
Relinquishing control is also about trusting the process. It’s about understanding that the best outcomes don’t always come from obsessive planning or control. In fact, sometimes the more you try to dictate an outcome, the less likely it is to happen as you envision. By embracing uncertainty and trusting that things will unfold as they should, you can often find the path to success without the friction of constant effort.
Letting go is a practice in resilience. It’s the ability to face challenges without letting them overwhelm you. It’s the acceptance that failure is a part of the process, and that growth often comes from the struggle itself. When you relinquish control over your outcomes, you open yourself up to new possibilities, new opportunities, and new experiences that you may have previously been blind to.
In life, the constant drive to control everything can be exhausting and counterproductive. By learning to relinquish control over the things that don’t serve us—whether it’s our emotional states, relationships, or external circumstances—we create space for something far greater: peace of mind, genuine connection, and true happiness. It’s through the practice of letting go that we often find our most profound and rewarding experiences.
The Paradoxical Art of Doing and Not Doing
At the heart of the Backwards Law is the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, a concept that flips our traditional notions of effort and accomplishment on their head. In a world that constantly pushes us to strive for more, to act with relentless determination, and to maximize every moment, the idea of letting go and not forcing the outcome can seem radical, if not counterproductive. Yet, it’s in this paradox that we find one of the most profound keys to success and well-being.
Think about the nature of true mastery. The most accomplished individuals in any field aren’t simply the ones who work the hardest or exert the most effort—they are the ones who have learned to balance effort with ease, action with reflection. This idea is beautifully captured in Aldous Huxley’s insight: “The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed.” True success comes not from forcing an outcome, but from aligning with the natural flow of things. The best musicians, athletes, artists, and even leaders understand this principle. They don’t fight against the natural rhythm of their craft; instead, they flow with it, blending effort with moments of stillness.
Take, for instance, the process of learning a new skill. Early on, it’s common to believe that sheer persistence and constant practice will guarantee success. While practice is undoubtedly essential, excessive striving can lead to burnout, frustration, and diminishing returns. Over time, you may find yourself hitting a wall, unable to improve despite putting in extra hours. This is where the paradox of doing and not doing becomes crucial. It’s when you take a step back, give yourself space, and allow the learning process to unfold naturally that breakthroughs often occur. Sometimes, the mind and body need rest to integrate the lessons and make progress.
This principle applies to all areas of life. In relationships, for example, trying too hard to make others like you or trying to force a connection can often backfire. When we are too focused on impressing others, we fail to truly connect with them. In contrast, when we relax, let go of the need for validation, and simply engage with others authentically, connections deepen naturally. The same is true for personal growth. When you relentlessly pursue self-improvement, you may find yourself trapped in a cycle of self-criticism. It’s only by allowing yourself to be imperfect, by letting go of the constant need to “fix” yourself, that you can truly grow into the person you want to become.
The art of doing and not doing is not about inaction; it’s about knowing when to push forward and when to pull back. It’s the art of surrendering the outcome while still putting in the effort, knowing that the results will follow naturally. This approach not only reduces stress but also increases effectiveness. Instead of exhausting yourself through endless, forced action, you allow your mind and body to act with purpose, ease, and flow. Ultimately, it’s about balancing doing and being, action and reflection, exertion and relaxation. By embracing both sides of the coin, you can achieve more with less effort and greater satisfaction.
The Mind’s Destructive Pursuit: Chasing Your Own Tail
To understand the full depth of the Backwards Law, one must grasp the paradox of the mind’s destructive pursuit of its own desires. Think of a dog chasing its tail. The dog runs in circles, eagerly trying to catch something that it can never catch. No matter how fast or determined it runs, the tail always remains just out of reach. The more the dog chases, the further it moves away from its goal. This analogy perfectly captures the essence of our own inner desires and the futile pursuit of certain emotional states.
For instance, we often chase happiness, thinking that if we work hard enough, accumulate enough wealth, or achieve the perfect lifestyle, we will eventually find it. But the more we chase happiness, the more it slips through our fingers. The harder we try to secure it, the more it eludes us. This paradox occurs because happiness is not something that can be achieved by constant pursuit. The more we seek it directly, the more we remind ourselves that it is absent from our lives. Ironically, by wanting happiness, we often create the very conditions that prevent us from experiencing it. It is the act of desiring happiness that reminds us of our current lack, reinforcing a cycle of dissatisfaction.
The same destructive pursuit occurs with confidence. In our modern culture, we are bombarded with messages that tell us to “fake it till you make it” or to constantly work on building self-esteem. While building confidence is important, the more we chase it, the more we might question our own worth. The relentless striving to feel confident often leads to self-doubt and insecurity, the very opposite of what we want. By focusing too much on wanting to feel confident, we inadvertently amplify our feelings of inadequacy.
Love is another area where this destructive pursuit takes hold. Many of us desire deep, meaningful connections, and we often think that we can force relationships into existence through effort and manipulation. But when we try too hard to make people like us, we come across as needy or insincere. Our desperation for affection actually pushes others away, creating an emotional barrier that prevents genuine connection. Just as the dog chasing its tail can never catch it, we too find ourselves chasing love in ways that prevent it from naturally unfolding. The more we try to control or force relationships, the more we inadvertently repel the love we seek.
This paradox extends beyond emotions and desires—it is a core feature of the mind itself. The mind is incredibly powerful, but it can also be a trap. Our minds have been trained to chase after external goals and achievements, but when it comes to internal states like happiness, confidence, and love, the chase becomes self-defeating. The more we try to control these internal experiences, the more elusive they become. Just as the dog cannot catch its tail, we cannot chase these inner states. The very act of trying to control them only reinforces the feeling of lack and prevents us from experiencing the desired state.
The solution to this paradox lies in recognizing that the things we chase are not separate from us. Happiness, confidence, love—these are not external goals to be acquired; they are internal states to be allowed and nurtured. The key is to stop the chase. The more we stop desperately seeking these experiences, the more we can let them come to us naturally. Happiness arises when we stop obsessing over it and start living authentically. Confidence emerges when we stop questioning ourselves and begin taking action despite our fears. Love grows when we let go of the need to control or manipulate relationships and simply show up as our true selves.
The mind’s pursuit of its own desires can be one of the most destructive forces in our lives. Yet, by recognizing this paradox and learning to let go, we can unlock a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment. The chase for happiness, confidence, and love is a never-ending circle that will always remain just out of reach. But by releasing the need to chase, we open ourselves to the possibility that these experiences were always within us, waiting to emerge naturally.
Relinquishing the Chase: The Only Way to Achieve What You Want
Now that you understand the paradoxical nature of the Backwards Law, you hold the key to a profound shift in your life. Imagine a world where chasing happiness doesn’t elude you, where effort and reward align seamlessly, and where letting go empowers rather than weakens. That world is within your reach.
So, here’s the deal, my friend. It’s time to embrace the Backwards Law and use it as your compass. Dive into the depths of life’s complexity, accept imperfection, and dance with failure because they are the stepping stones to your true potential.
Picture this: a life where you surface for air with resilience, breathing freely amidst life’s intricate currents. The path forward is clear—let go, embrace the paradox, and flourish. It’s your time to rise above the surface and breathe in the fulfillment you deserve.
Now, take that leap. Implement the Backwards Law into your life today. Start by letting go, and watch the transformation unfold. Don’t just read about it; live it. Your journey to genuine fulfillment begins now.