In a world that often feels spinning out of control, many people search for serenity in the most unlikely places: remote retreats, tranquil getaways, or isolated spaces far from the demands of everyday life. While these moments of solitude may offer temporary peace, the Stoics teach us a different approach. They argue that true serenity isn’t found by avoiding life’s disruptions but by learning to respond to them with wisdom, composure, and reason.
Epictetus, a foundational Stoic philosopher, reminds us that the key to inner peace lies not in escaping external chaos but in mastering our internal reactions to it. If you want to be truly steady in life, it’s not about where you are but how you engage with the world around you.
“For if a person shifts their caution to their own reasoned choices and the acts of those choices, they will at the same time gain the will to avoid, but if they shift their caution away from their own reasoned choices to things not under their control, seeking to avoid what is controlled by others, they will then be agitated, fearful, and unstable.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.1.12
The Stoic’s Response to Life’s Disruptions
The idea of a serene life often conjures up an image of withdrawal, of retreating into quiet, controlled spaces away from the demands and noise of the world. People think of a Zen monk sitting quietly in a forest retreat or a hermit contemplating the beauty of nature in solitude. It’s easy to believe that peace comes from escaping life’s conflicts, from distancing oneself from external noise. This notion, however, clashes with the essence of Stoic philosophy. The Stoics assert that peace and stability do not come from avoidance but from engagement—engagement with life’s challenges in a way that does not disturb our inner tranquility.
Imagine a Stoic figure, not as a hermit on a mountaintop but as an active participant in life’s marketplace. The Stoic is in the thick of it, engaged with the world’s struggles, noise, and uncertainties. Whether it’s a senator debating in the Roman Forum, a mother anxiously waiting for her soldier’s return, or an artist trying to carve meaning out of marble, the Stoic is not running away from life’s trials. Instead, they are meeting those trials with a steadiness that doesn’t waver, no matter how turbulent the world around them becomes. The Stoic view is that serenity comes not from avoiding life’s inevitable hardships but from cultivating the discipline to maintain peace of mind regardless of those hardships.
This idea is revolutionary because it teaches us that peace is not about finding the right environment or escaping discomfort but about training ourselves to respond to discomfort with composure. A Stoic isn’t overwhelmed by external events because they understand that their peace is grounded in their responses, not the conditions they are subjected to. The Stoic’s steadiness in the face of the chaotic world demonstrates a form of mastery: mastery over their emotions, their actions, and their perceptions.
External Circumstances Don’t Dictate Your Peace
One of the biggest misconceptions about peace is the belief that it’s something external—something that can be achieved by removing ourselves from stress, chaos, or discomfort. We often think a perfect environment will bring about a perfect state of mind. For some, this might mean moving to a quieter neighborhood, traveling to remote places, or even isolating themselves from others. Yet, no matter how appealing, these external changes are temporary solutions. The real issue lies in our minds, not in the world around us. And even if we find moments of peace in these new, quieter spaces, the underlying stressors or anxieties will inevitably follow us.
The Stoics argue that escaping from life’s difficulties by altering our external circumstances is futile and counterproductive. No matter where you go or what new place you seek, the world will still present challenges—perhaps even greater ones. We are chasing an illusion if we constantly seek to create the perfect environment. There will always be a new stressor, a new source of anxiety, and the external world will continue to test us in unexpected ways. In this sense, external peace is not something we can rely on to maintain our serenity.
Epictetus and other Stoics argue that peace comes from within, not from external factors. Serenity is a state of mind that arises from our ability to control our judgments, reactions, and perceptions. While we cannot control the events or people around us, we can control how we interpret and react to those events. The Stoics teach us that we should not place our peace in the hands of external circumstances, for they are constantly changing and beyond our control. True peace, instead, is found in mastering our responses to the unpredictability of life. The world will always throw challenges our way, but our choice—how we choose to engage with those challenges—defines our inner tranquility.
The Power of Reasoned Choices
Central to Stoic philosophy is the idea that we can choose how we respond to the world around us. According to the Stoics, the only things truly under our control are our judgments and actions. The rest—the actions of others, the outcomes of events, and the uncontrollable forces of fate—are beyond our ability to influence directly. When we waste energy trying to control things outside our realm of influence, we sow the seeds of frustration and instability. Instead, we are called to focus on what we can control: our thoughts, decisions, and reactions.
Every day, we have countless opportunities to exercise this control. Whether it’s how we respond to a challenging conversation, approach a difficult task, or deal with a sudden setback, these are the moments where our true power lies. The Stoic recognizes that the key to maintaining inner stability is not to try to eliminate all external challenges but to exercise reason in the face of them. This is not about controlling the uncontrollable but making thoughtful, deliberate choices that keep us grounded.
Take, for example, the senator in the Roman Forum. Surrounded by political opponents, noisy debates, and public scrutiny, they maintain their composure not by withdrawing from the situation but by making decisions based on their values and principles. In doing so, they avoid the emotional turmoil others might fall victim to. A Stoic artist, faced with criticism from the public or peers, chooses to focus on the craft, learning from the feedback while not letting it define their self-worth. In each instance, the Stoic maintains control over their internal responses, thus protecting their peace of mind. Through reasoned choices, they remain steady, regardless of the external storm.
This idea of controlling what we can and letting go of what we cannot is empowering and liberating. It frees us from trying to control every aspect of our environment. Instead, it redirects our energy toward what truly matters: our thoughts, actions, and ability to remain composed in the face of life’s inevitable ups and downs.
Avoiding Harmful Judgments
At the heart of the Stoic practice is the idea that our judgments about external events often cause us more harm than the events themselves. The mind has a natural tendency to jump to conclusions, to judge situations based on fear, expectation, or past experiences, and to attach unnecessary meaning to neutral events. These conscious or unconscious judgments can stir up emotions like anger, fear, frustration, or anxiety. Over time, this constant cycle of judgment can destabilize our mental and emotional state, leading to unnecessary suffering.
Epictetus and other Stoic philosophers emphasize the importance of questioning and reframing these judgments. Rather than immediately reacting to external events, the Stoic practice is to pause, assess, and then choose how to respond based on reason rather than impulse. By doing so, we can avoid the trap of emotional overreaction and maintain our stability in the face of adversity.
For instance, imagine a situation where someone criticizes you publicly. The automatic reaction might be to feel insulted or defensive. But a Stoic would pause and ask themselves: “What is in my control here? What does this criticism reveal about me, if anything?” By shifting the judgment to a more rational and detached perspective, the Stoic can learn from the criticism without allowing it to derail their peace of mind. Similarly, when faced with unexpected changes or setbacks, the Stoic avoids making judgments that elevate the situation beyond its actual importance. Instead of seeing a delay in a project as a failure, they view it as an opportunity for growth or learning.
This shift in judgment doesn’t mean that we suppress or ignore our emotions; rather, it means that we allow ourselves to feel the emotions without letting them dictate our actions. We learn to respond to life’s challenges with a clearer head and a more grounded perspective. The Stoic understands that their internal peace is a product of how they choose to judge the world, and by mastering their judgments, they can avoid unnecessary emotional turmoil.
Serenity is a Choice, Not a Destination
Many people mistakenly believe that serenity is a destination—something to be attained once we’ve removed all external distractions or reached a certain point in life. This belief leads us to think that peace is something external that we can find or chase rather than something internal that we must cultivate. According to Stoic philosophy, the truth is that serenity is not a final state to be achieved but a continuous choice to engage with the world thoughtfully and with composure, regardless of external circumstances.
The world will never stop presenting us with challenges. Whether it’s a personal crisis, an unexpected setback, or a societal upheaval, life is filled with uncertainty and conflict. The Stoic does not wait for these challenges to disappear before seeking peace. Instead, they find peace by consciously remaining steady in adversity. Serenity is not about perfecting your environment but about perfecting your response to it.
This mindset shifts the focus from external conditions to internal mastery. The Stoics aren’t trying to create a life free of challenges; instead, they embrace challenges as opportunities to practice self-discipline, reason, and emotional regulation. Every moment offers a chance to exercise the art of maintaining inner tranquility, no matter how chaotic the world may seem. By viewing serenity as a daily practice rather than a final destination, the Stoic is able to maintain their peace of mind through all of life’s ebbs and flows.
Daily Stoic Meditation: What are the Sources of Unsteadiness in My Life?
When I was a child, I wanted to run away. I wanted to go to a different school because I didn’t like the one I went to. I wanted to move to a different neighborhood because the kids were mean. I wanted to go to a different college.
My mom used to tell me that no matter where I went, my problems and challenges would follow me until I learned how to deal with them. I didn’t understand it back then, but I understand it now.
Challenges often arise in our lives to teach us a lesson and help us grow into better people. In this way, one can view them as opportunities. The same challenges will show up because whatever we resist persists.
Another lesson I learned early in life is that I choose what controls my emotions and responses to any situation and not someone else. Whenever someone irritated me and I got angry, my father used to ask me how this person had so much power over me that I let them dictate my reaction. He said I should never let go of self-control and allow external circumstances to dictate my feelings.
Today, there are moments when I lose my cool and become unsteady. It takes me a while to center myself whenever I have such an episode. Once I calm down, I do a lot of self-reflection; over time, such instances have become fewer.
Conclusion
Ultimately, the Stoic path teaches us that serenity is not a destination to be reached but a daily choice to be made. Life will always present challenges, and external circumstances will fluctuate in unpredictable ways. Yet, it is within our power to maintain steadiness, not by controlling the uncontrollable, but by controlling how we respond.
By focusing on reasoned decisions, avoiding harmful judgments, and understanding that peace comes from within, we can live with the clarity and tranquility that the Stoics espoused—no matter the chaos around us. The true test of peace is not in how quiet the world is but in how well we navigate its noise with an unwavering sense of calm.
This article is a part of The Daily Stoic Meditations Series based on Ryan Holiday’s book.