“They say the pen is mightier than the sword.” It’s a phrase we’ve all heard, emphasizing the power of the written word. But have you ever considered that the spoken word, delivered with finesse and impact, can be even mightier than the pen? Our tongues, the tools we use for conversation, can evoke laughter, tears, and passionate applause. Historically, Orators have demonstrated the incredible sway of persuasive speech, moving nations to war or guiding lost souls toward salvation. What’s remarkable is that they wield the same basic equipment as you and me: eyes, ears, hands, legs, arms, and vocal cords.
You might not be a professional athlete with an exceptionally strong body or a gifted singer with a voice that captivates thousands. However, what sets professional speakers apart isn’t their physical prowess or vocal cords but their mastery of communication techniques. They utilize every aspect of their being—their hands, bodies, expressions, voices, and even silence.
Chances are, you might not be preparing for a formal speech anytime soon, but the art of persuasive conversation is a skill that transcends podiums and stages. Whether you’re persuading your family to choose Grandma’s house for the next vacation or presenting a compelling case to corporate stakeholders for a multimillion-dollar takeover, the techniques used by professional speakers can elevate your everyday conversations to the level of persuasion and influence.
A Gem for Every Occasion
Crafting memorable, powerful phrases is one of the most effective techniques for captivating an audience, whether in a professional setting, a social gathering, or a critical moment in a personal life. It’s about more than just clever wordplay; it’s about creating something that sticks, something that lodges itself in the minds of your listeners. Phrases with the right balance of simplicity and punch become unforgettable. For example, political slogans that transcend time and place—phrases like “Read my lips: no new taxes” are etched into the collective memory. They’re not simply a promise; they represent a bold commitment that encapsulates an entire political platform in a few words. This phrase wasn’t just effective because it was simple but a rallying cry, something people could hold on to.
Similarly, phrases that emerge from the world of law, such as Johnny Cochran’s “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit,” have a way of reverberating beyond the courtroom. The impact of this statement wasn’t just in the acquittal of a defendant but in the way the phrase sparked a movement. It became iconic because it was memorable, easy to recall, and hit the nail on the head during a pivotal moment.
But how do we apply this technique to our conversations? The key is understanding that it’s not just about throwing in complex metaphors or seeking out a dramatic flourish—crafting a line that resonates emotionally with the listener. This is where borrowing from great speakers and authors can help. Professionals like Barry Farber, known for his imaginative and vivid similes, don’t settle for clichés. Instead, they offer fresh imagery that pulls people in. Farber’s simile about feeling “like an elephant dangling over a cliff with his tail tied to a daisy” provides a much stronger visual and emotional connection than the overused “nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof.”
Incorporating such creative imagery into your speech helps you stand out. Instead of using the predictable “happy as a lark,” think of something more vibrant, like “happy as a child running through a field of balloons.” This kind of expression provides a clearer mental image and a stronger emotional appeal. By collecting such unique expressions, you can always have a toolbox of fresh, attention-grabbing phrases that make an impression and give your listeners something to remember long after the conversation ends.
Make ‘Em Laugh, Make ‘Em Laugh, Make ‘Em Laugh
Humor can break down barriers, lighten tension, and establish a connection between speaker and listener. A well-timed joke or witty comment doesn’t just entertain—it can underline a point, add nuance, and create a memorable moment. But humor in conversation isn’t about telling jokes for the sake of it; it’s about using humor that fits the moment. It’s easy to crack a joke, but the real skill lies in knowing when and how to do it, especially when the stakes are high.
Take a business meeting, for instance, where the atmosphere is tense and the mood is serious. Here, a little levity can work wonders. If an executive, amidst discussing financial hardships, says, “Don’t worry, this company has enough money to stay in business for years—unless we pay our creditors,” it breaks the tension, makes everyone laugh, and keeps the message intact. This quick, humorous aside lightens the mood but also communicates the seriousness of the situation in a more accessible way.
Humor also plays a critical role in making your message stick. Marketers and public figures have long understood that a memorable phrase and a sense of humor can elevate a product or message. Think about the “drumstick transplant” coined by a veterinarian for a rooster who lost its feet to frostbite. Not only did this term catch the media’s attention, but it transformed an unusual procedure into a compelling and quotable story. It’s not just a clever play on words—it helps the audience visualize and emotionally engage with the subject.
Similarly, Jeanne Calment’s playful remark on her 122nd birthday, “I’ve only ever had one wrinkle, and I’m sitting on it,” became a sensation not just because of its humor but because it gave people a reason to talk. Humor is relatable and humanizing, often making complex or abstract ideas more accessible. Incorporating humor into your conversations doesn’t just make things lighter—it adds a dimension of memorability that makes people want to share your words with others.
When used in moderation and tailored to the situation, humor provides an emotional touchpoint. It helps build relationships and defuse tension while ensuring you remain the center of attention, if only for the right reasons. When preparing for a conversation, consider adding a bit of humor—whether through a witty remark, a timely quip, or a clever metaphor. It can elevate the moment and ensure that your words leave a lasting impact.
A Word of Warning
While the power of a clever phrase or humor can elevate any conversation, timing is essential. No matter how brilliant your words may be, they can fall flat if they’re not delivered at the right time or context. This is the risk that any speaker or conversationalist must manage. It’s easy to think that every conversation needs to be spiced up with a memorable phrase or funny anecdote, but sometimes, restraint is just as important. Knowing when to speak and when to remain silent is a skill that can make or break the effectiveness of your communication.
Consider the author’s experience with delivering love poems aboard a cruise ship. On one cruise, the reading was met with enthusiasm and admiration. The passengers repeated the lines, quoting them fondly. But the response was markedly different when the same poems were read on a different cruise. The audience wasn’t receptive, and the attempt to replicate success failed. The moral here is that context matters. Humor, powerful lines, and emotional phrases need to fit the situation. What works in one setting may be entirely inappropriate in another.
Understanding your audience is key. Great communicators know how to read the room. They gauge the mood, adjust their tone, and adapt their words accordingly. This is why professional speakers spend so much time researching and understanding the dynamics of their audience before stepping on stage. They don’t just rely on their words but on their ability to connect with the people they are speaking to. Whether speaking in a formal setting or casual conversation, the best results come from a combination of prepared content and a keen awareness of the situation.
So, when you’re preparing to engage in conversation, always take a moment to consider your environment. Is this a place where humor will lighten the mood, or will it seem out of place? Are your words likely to resonate with the people you’re speaking to, or will they fall flat? By being aware of the timing and context, you can ensure your message is heard and appreciated at its full potential.
Jawsmith’s Jive: Mastering the Art of Conversation
Whether you’re standing behind a podium facing thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing your family, you’ll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills. Read speakers’ books to cull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on chosen occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable.
Make ’em rhyme, make ’em clever, or make ’em funny. Above all, make ’em relevant.
Technique #31 – Use Jawsmith’s Jive
Mastering conversation is not just about having clever things to say—it’s about delivering those words with the right blend of passion, timing, and non-verbal communication. Professional motivational speakers understand the power of their words but also know how to use their bodies, voices, and even silences to create an impact. Every movement, every pause, and every inflection of their voice has a purpose. For example, hand gestures are powerful in making a point. When someone gestures to accompany their words, it doesn’t just highlight what they’re saying—it strengthens the overall impact. For instance, if you’re explaining a complex idea, use your hands to shape the conversation, making the abstract more concrete.
Similarly, facial expressions add a whole other layer to your words. When you smile, the audience feels warmth; when your brow furrows in concentration, they know what you’re saying is serious. These non-verbal cues reinforce your verbal message and add emotional weight to your words. The idea is to not just speak but to perform—to become fully engaged in the conversation in a way that pulls your audience in.
Pacing and tone are just as critical in conversation. Motivational speakers understand the importance of varying their speech—slowing down when making an important point, speeding up when discussing something exciting, and pausing to settle the weight of a sentence. You can adopt this technique in your conversations by paying attention to the rhythm of your speech. Don’t rush through your points; let your words breathe. Use pauses to give your audience time to absorb what you’re saying. Speaking too quickly or in a monotone will likely cause your listener’s attention to drift.
Another effective strategy is silence. Silence can be just as powerful as words. After making a significant point, allow a pause to let it sink in. This space encourages reflection and adds emphasis to what you’ve just said. Similarly, a moment of silence before responding to a question can give you the time to craft the most thoughtful and impactful answer.
Finally, consider your posture. If you’re sitting, stand up. If you’re standing, walk around. When done thoughtfully, movement can give your words more energy and keep your listeners engaged. This is all part of the art of conversation—the ability to captivate an audience with what you say and how you say it. By employing techniques used by professional speakers, you can elevate your daily interactions, making every conversation an opportunity to influence, engage, and inspire.
Conclusion
Incorporating motivational speaking techniques into your daily conversations can transform how you connect with others and leave a lasting impact. Using powerful phrases, humor, and engaging body language can enhance your ability to persuade, inspire, and build deeper relationships. Remember, it’s not just about what you say but how you say it. With practice, you’ll learn to use pauses, gestures, and varied tones to captivate your audience, whether in a business meeting, a social gathering, or a casual chat. So, embrace these techniques, and watch how your words start to move, amuse, and motivate those around you.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.