Are your twenties feeling like a whirlwind of choices, challenges, and opportunities? You’re not alone. In this blog post, we’re going to delve into the life-changing advice that can truly make a difference in your 20s. Whether you’re just starting this exciting journey or already knee-deep in it, the wisdom and strategies we’ll explore here will equip you for success.
But here’s the kicker: We won’t just throw around generic advice. We’re diving into specific, actionable techniques and strategies that can help you thrive in your twenties. From embracing unpopularity to mastering the art of adaptation, we’ve got your back.
So, if you’re ready to make the most of this transformative decade, gain insights that resonate with your experiences, and uncover strategies to shape your future, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive right in.
1. The Willingness to Be Disliked is a Superpower
From an early age, we are conditioned to seek approval. Whether it’s by our parents, teachers, or peers, the desire to fit in is one of the most powerful forces in our lives. We’re told to conform, to follow the crowd, and to avoid standing out at all costs. It’s no wonder, then, that the notion of being disliked often triggers feelings of anxiety, discomfort, or shame. But the truth is, if you want to accomplish anything of significance in life, being willing to be disliked is one of the most essential tools you can possess.
When you start pursuing big goals, whether they’re entrepreneurial ventures, artistic endeavors, or simply following an unconventional path, you will undoubtedly face resistance. It’s inevitable. The more ambitious you are, the more likely you are to ruffle feathers and step on toes. People will criticize you, question your choices, and even try to tear you down. The question is: how do you respond to this?
The first step in embracing this superpower is understanding that disapproval is a natural consequence of doing something noteworthy. Think about history’s most influential figures—people like Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, or even controversial figures like Elon Musk. These individuals didn’t rise to prominence because they followed the crowd. They didn’t succeed by seeking approval at every turn. They succeeded because they stayed true to their vision, even when it meant upsetting others. They were willing to bear the weight of criticism and discomfort in order to pursue something larger than themselves.
When you’re comfortable with being disliked, you free yourself from the prison of other people’s expectations. You stop worrying about what your family, friends, or coworkers think, and instead, you focus solely on your own path. This doesn’t mean becoming reckless or inconsiderate. It means making decisions based on what aligns with your values and what will ultimately get you closer to your goals, even if others don’t understand it.
The true beauty of embracing disapproval is that it fosters freedom. Once you no longer fear being disliked, you become unstoppable. You develop a resilience that allows you to keep moving forward, no matter what others say. You start to see criticism as a tool for growth, rather than a source of pain. You learn to take feedback, reflect on it, and improve, but you don’t let the negativity hold you back.
Moreover, this shift in mindset gives you the courage to take risks and pursue ventures that others might deem impossible. You start to see failure as just another step in the process, not something to be avoided at all costs. And when you inevitably face setbacks, your ability to withstand criticism becomes an invaluable asset, helping you persevere when others would have quit.
Being disliked is a small price to pay for the freedom to live authentically and chase your dreams without hesitation. Over time, the more comfortable you become with this discomfort, the more confident and empowered you’ll feel. In fact, the willingness to be disliked can become your superpower—one that propels you to the very heights of success and self-fulfillment.
2. You Can’t Fundamentally Change Yourself or Others, So Stop Trying
In your 20s, you’re driven by a sense of possibility. Your body is resilient, your mind is sharp, and the world feels like it’s full of endless opportunities. You often view change as something that happens quickly and easily. If you’re unhappy with a certain aspect of yourself—whether it’s your body, your habits, or your insecurities—you believe that with enough determination and willpower, you can reinvent yourself. But as you grow older, you realize that change isn’t as simple as it seemed, and that the things you thought you could easily fix may not be as malleable as you once imagined.
The harsh reality is that, while personal growth is possible, there are certain core aspects of your identity and personality that are difficult—if not impossible—to change. Over time, you begin to understand that you can’t erase the past, and you can’t completely change the way you think, feel, or react in every situation. For example, if you’ve had a traumatic childhood, that experience will shape your worldview for the rest of your life. While you may be able to heal and move forward, that trauma doesn’t just “disappear.” Similarly, if you’ve struggled with addiction, it’s not something that can be “fixed” overnight with a few therapy sessions or motivational speeches.
The same applies to your inherent personality traits. Some people are naturally more introverted, while others are more extroverted. You might have high emotional sensitivity, or you might be more stoic by nature. These traits often feel like part of your DNA, and while you can learn to manage or adapt your behavior, you can’t completely transform these fundamental aspects of yourself.
It’s important to acknowledge that trying to change who you fundamentally are can lead to frustration and self-resentment. Instead of fighting against your nature, the key to personal growth is learning to accept yourself and adapt to your circumstances. For example, if you are an introvert, trying to force yourself into social situations that drain you may not be the best approach. Instead, focus on leveraging your natural strengths, such as deep thinking or the ability to connect with others on a more intimate level, and build a life that plays to those strengths.
This also extends to how we approach relationships. In your 20s, you might have a naive belief that with enough effort, you can fix other people, especially those you care about. Whether it’s a romantic partner or a close friend, you might think that your influence can change their behavior, habits, or mindset. However, the older you get, the more you realize that change doesn’t happen unless someone is genuinely ready for it. People can only change when they are willing to do the work themselves—not when you push them to.
In relationships, the key is acceptance. If you want to build healthy and lasting connections, it’s vital to accept people for who they truly are, not who you want them to be. This doesn’t mean you condone toxic behaviors or let someone off the hook for their mistakes. It simply means you stop expecting to “fix” them, and instead, you focus on understanding them and supporting their growth, as they are.
Ultimately, understanding that you cannot change everything about yourself or others is a liberating realization. It allows you to stop wasting energy on unrealistic expectations and focus on what’s truly important—self-acceptance, personal growth, and fostering meaningful connections with others. Personal development is not about transforming who you are, but about learning to work with your natural tendencies and becoming the best version of yourself, based on who you already are.
3. If You’re Not Embarrassing Yourself Regularly, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough
The fear of embarrassment is a powerful force. It often holds us back from taking risks, pursuing new opportunities, and stepping outside our comfort zones. In your 20s, especially, there’s a pressure to “get it right,” to appear polished and confident in every situation. We fear that any slip-up, mistake, or failure will define us in the eyes of others. But the truth is, if you’re not embarrassing yourself regularly, you’re likely playing it too safe. You’re not trying hard enough to grow, challenge yourself, or reach your full potential.
In your 20s, you have the most to gain and the least to lose. You likely don’t have a family to support, a mortgage to pay, or the weight of a longstanding career that could be jeopardized by a mistake. The cost of failure is relatively low, which makes this the perfect time to take big risks. You have the freedom to make mistakes without suffering severe consequences, and those mistakes are the very experiences that will teach you the most.
If you’re constantly avoiding failure, it likely means you’re not pushing yourself to the edge of your potential. Taking risks means stepping out of your comfort zone, trying new things, and embracing the possibility of failure. If you’re never embarrassed, it’s a sign that you’re not truly stretching yourself. You’re staying within the confines of what’s comfortable and familiar.
Look at the people who have achieved the most in their fields. Most of them have had to fail—often spectacularly—before they reached success. Think about the tech entrepreneurs who launched their first product, only to have it crash and burn. Or the actors who spent years auditioning for roles before landing their big break. Or the musicians who played in small venues with only a handful of people before selling out arenas. These are people who failed publicly, who put themselves in positions where embarrassment was a real possibility, but they kept going.
Failure isn’t something to be ashamed of; it’s an essential part of success. The more you fail, the more you learn. And as you accumulate failures, you gain experience, resilience, and confidence. The embarrassment fades quickly, but the lessons you learn from taking risks will last a lifetime.
Moreover, failure is a gateway to creativity and innovation. The fear of embarrassment stifles creativity because it encourages you to follow conventional paths, to play by the rules, and to avoid anything that might make you stand out. But some of the greatest breakthroughs in history have come from those who weren’t afraid to fail publicly. The artist who creates something completely new and is met with ridicule, only to later be hailed as a visionary. The scientist whose experiments fail time and time again but eventually leads to a revolutionary discovery.
When you’re willing to embarrass yourself, you unlock the door to creativity, growth, and extraordinary accomplishments. It’s a mindset that says, “I’m going to try anyway.” The courage to be vulnerable and face potential humiliation head-on will give you the edge in both your personal and professional life.
So, go ahead. Embarrass yourself. Try something new. Pursue the risky, unconventional idea. Learn to laugh at your mistakes, knowing that each one brings you closer to success. In your 20s, this is your chance to push boundaries, take chances, and grow into the person you’re meant to be. The more you embrace the discomfort of failure, the stronger, more successful, and more authentic you will become.
4. Most Relationships Are Supposed to End, and That’s Okay
When you’re in your 20s, relationships often feel like they’re everything. Romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional bonds can feel like they define your life. These relationships are the people you confide in, the ones who share in your victories, and the ones who are there for you during your struggles. It’s easy to assume that these connections will last forever. But the truth is, most relationships in life are temporary, and that’s perfectly normal.
As you move through life, you’ll encounter different people who shape you in unique ways. Some relationships will come into your life for a season and serve a specific purpose. For example, a romantic partner might teach you important lessons about love and commitment, while a friend may help you discover your passion for a particular hobby. But over time, you’ll realize that not all relationships are meant to last. People grow, change, and evolve, and sometimes, those changes lead to the natural end of a connection.
One of the most difficult realizations is that relationships often end not because of any major falling out, but simply because they’ve run their course. This is particularly true for friendships and romantic relationships. You might find that as you grow older, you have less in common with certain people, or that your values no longer align with theirs. That’s okay. It’s part of life’s natural progression. We can’t expect every relationship to be permanent, and trying to force a relationship to last forever can lead to unnecessary heartache and resentment.
In fact, accepting the transient nature of relationships can actually help you develop healthier connections. By acknowledging that most relationships are temporary, you free yourself from the pressure of clinging to them when they no longer serve you. This allows you to put your energy into relationships that are truly meaningful and worth nurturing, rather than holding on to ones that have reached their natural end.
The challenge is knowing when to let go. In your 20s, it’s easy to fall into the trap of overvaluing certain relationships—whether it’s a friendship that’s based on shared history or a romantic relationship that’s comfortable, even though it’s no longer fulfilling. It’s difficult to face the reality that some people are meant to be a part of your life only for a chapter, not the whole story. But the sooner you embrace this truth, the more you can focus on building the connections that really matter.
Furthermore, the end of a relationship doesn’t mean it was a failure. It’s simply a sign that it fulfilled its purpose at that moment in time. Rather than resenting the people who leave your life, appreciate the lessons they taught you and the memories you shared. Whether the relationship was positive or negative, there’s always something valuable to be learned from it.
The beauty of this realization is that it frees you to seek new relationships—whether with friends, romantic partners, or colleagues—who better align with who you are becoming. It allows you to grow, to evolve, and to connect with people who support you on your journey, rather than staying tethered to relationships that have become stifling or toxic.
Learning to let go is a powerful skill. It’s not about cutting people out of your life for the sake of it, but rather about allowing relationships to evolve naturally, and knowing when it’s time to part ways. Doing so with grace and acceptance can lead to deeper, more fulfilling connections, and a stronger sense of self.
5. Your Dreams Are Overrated
The phrase “follow your dreams” has become almost a cliché, with motivational speakers, success coaches, and celebrities all reiterating this mantra. It’s often framed as the ultimate guide to success and fulfillment—”dream big and never give up on your dreams.” While there’s no denying that dreams can provide inspiration and direction, the truth is that they can also be limiting and unrealistic. As you progress through life, particularly into your 30s and beyond, you begin to understand that dreams, while important, shouldn’t be seen as the be-all and end-all of your happiness and self-worth.
When you’re in your 20s, you have an idealized vision of what your life will look like. Maybe you dream of becoming a famous artist, a top executive, or an acclaimed writer. These dreams are ambitious, and they push you to work hard. But what happens when those dreams don’t manifest the way you thought they would? This is where the danger lies. If you tie your sense of fulfillment exclusively to the achievement of a singular dream, you risk disappointment, frustration, and bitterness when the dream doesn’t pan out the way you imagined.
Dreams are often abstract, grandiose, and sometimes even ill-defined. As a young person, you have the luxury of hoping for big, life-changing goals. But as time goes on, you begin to realize that life is far more complex than a straightforward path toward a single ideal. Dreams are important because they give you something to strive for, but they should never be the only thing that drives you. They are simply a starting point.
The harsh reality is that many people never achieve their dreams, despite working tirelessly toward them. Think of all the talented musicians who never make it big, the actors who audition for years but never land the breakout role, or the entrepreneurs who start businesses that never take off. These people worked just as hard, if not harder, than those who achieved their dreams, yet they still fell short. It’s not that they weren’t passionate or driven—it’s that success is not always within our control.
This is why it’s crucial to hold on to your dreams lightly. While you should pursue them with vigor and determination, you must also accept the possibility that they may evolve, shift, or even fade away altogether. Sometimes, the achievement of a dream does not bring the joy or satisfaction you anticipated. Perhaps the career you worked tirelessly for doesn’t bring you the happiness you imagined. Or, maybe you achieve the dream, but it turns out to be less fulfilling than you thought. In these instances, holding too tightly to your dream can leave you feeling lost or unfulfilled once it’s realized.
Instead of letting dreams define you, focus on the journey. The experiences, growth, and lessons you encounter along the way are just as valuable, if not more so, than reaching the dream itself. Life rarely unfolds according to the idealized plans we create when we’re young. The people you meet, the detours you take, and the unexpected opportunities you encounter are just as important as your original vision.
Reframe your relationship with your dreams. Pursue them with passion, but be flexible and open to new possibilities. Allow yourself the freedom to adapt as you grow and change. Recognize that dreams are just one part of the equation and that the process of working toward them—and even letting them go when needed—is where the true value lies. Life is far more enriching when you appreciate the present moment and the unpredictable twists and turns along the way.
6. The Only Way to Feel Better About Yourself Is to Do Things Worth Feeling Good About
We live in a world obsessed with external validation. Social media platforms constantly bombard us with curated images of success, beauty, and happiness, creating an illusion that these external achievements or possessions will make us feel good about ourselves. How many times have you found yourself scrolling through Instagram, envying the perfectly staged photos of someone else’s vacation or new car, thinking that if you had those things, you’d feel better about your life?
The problem with this mindset is that it’s fleeting and superficial. The external achievements or possessions that we so desperately chase can provide temporary happiness, but they rarely provide long-term fulfillment. In fact, as you age, you come to realize that no material possession, external validation, or social status will ever make you feel truly good about yourself. The key to lasting self-esteem and contentment lies in the actions you take, not the things you accumulate or the likes you receive.
When you feel bad about yourself, your instinct might be to focus on what you lack or what you wish you could have. You may think that buying something new or getting a promotion will finally bring you the happiness or validation you seek. But the truth is, external sources of validation are hollow. They may boost your ego for a moment, but they don’t fill the deeper void inside.
True self-worth comes from doing things that align with your values and principles. It comes from being proud of the actions you take, regardless of whether they receive external recognition. This could mean getting up every morning to work on a passion project, taking the time to be kind to others, or pursuing a career that aligns with your values, even if it doesn’t come with a high paycheck. It could be volunteering your time to help a cause that you believe in or being a supportive friend or family member.
Every action you take that adds value to the world around you contributes to your sense of self-worth. These small acts of goodness—whether they’re personal or professional—are the foundation of a life that feels meaningful. Building a career you love, pursuing healthy relationships, and working toward personal development are actions that offer lasting fulfillment, far beyond any external reward.
Furthermore, doing things worth feeling good about also involves making choices that prioritize your well-being and integrity. This could mean exercising even when you don’t feel like it because you know it’s good for your health. It could mean working healthily through uncomfortable emotions, rather than resorting to distractions like binge-watching TV or social media. Though they may seem small, the daily acts of self-care, discipline, and kindness add up to create a life that you can genuinely be proud of.
The point is, happiness and self-worth are not found in external accomplishments, but in the meaning behind your actions. The more you focus on doing things that are genuinely worth doing—things that contribute to your personal growth, well-being, and the well-being of others- the more you’ll feel good about yourself. True fulfillment comes from the inside out, from living a life aligned with your values, not from the approval of others or the accumulation of material things.
By focusing on the things that truly matter and taking pride in actions that reflect your values, you will experience a deeper and more lasting sense of self-worth. Instead of looking outside for validation, you’ll find it in the things you do daily. As you get older, this sense of inner fulfillment will sustain you, rather than fleeting moments of external validation.
Unlock the Potential of Your 20s – Your Journey to a Life Well-Lived
In the grand theater of life, your twenties are the opening act, the prologue to the epic tale of your existence. You’ve journeyed through this article, uncovering the life-changing advice that can shape your path. Now, it’s time to take that wisdom and forge your destiny.
Picture this: A future where you embrace unpopularity, adapt to change, take calculated risks, nurture lasting relationships, and pursue your dreams with unwavering determination. Your twenties are the canvas; you hold the brush to paint your masterpiece.
Don’t just read this and move on. Act on it. Seize the opportunities, learn from the challenges, and dare to be extraordinary. The benefits are for tomorrow and a lifetime of fulfillment and success.
So, here’s your call to action: Embrace the advice you’ve discovered here, and embark on the incredible journey of your twenties with courage and purpose. Your future self will thank you for it. Let’s get started today!