In the 1940s, the golden era of cinema, movies were a delightful escape from reality. People would dress up, hop into their Buicks adorned with foxtails on the radio antenna and baby boots dangling from the rearview mirror, and head to the local movie house. There, they would be transported to a world where stories unfolded before their eyes. These tales typically followed a pattern: the hero and heroine would meet, fall in love, conquer seemingly insurmountable challenges, get married, and, as the curtains closed, presumably live happily ever after. While the stories may have varied slightly, there was always a leading man and often a leading woman. The rest of the characters were secondary, their lives insignificant in comparison to the stars.
While movies have evolved over the years, human nature has remained remarkably consistent. Each of us tends to view our own lives through the lens of those old-time movies. Every trivial event, mundane detail, or passing thought can take on a momentous significance. It’s as though we’re all stars in our own 1940s films, and the rest of the world plays a supporting role.
The Significance of Minutiae
Consider this: What someone had for breakfast, the choice of shoes they made that morning, or whether they took a moment to floss their teeth can hold more weight in their minds than the rise and fall of distant nations or global temperature fluctuations. These details, however trivial they may seem to others, become major plot points in the ongoing saga of their lives.
Even in the context of relationships, minutiae play a significant role. Couples often engage in conversations like:
“What did you have for breakfast, Honey?” “You didn’t wear those shoes, did you?” “Did you remember to floss?”
These exchanges, while seemingly inconsequential, contribute to a sense of intimacy between individuals.
Tracking: Making Them the Star
To foster a deeper sense of connection and make others feel like the stars of their own movies, big winners employ a technique called “Tracking.” They don’t pretend to be interested in every minor detail shared by their contacts. Instead, they make a point to remember those specific details that their contacts do share.
Imagine a scenario: If a prospect casually mentions having Rice Krispies for breakfast, a skilled communicator might allude to that fact later in the conversation. Similarly, if a boss discusses wearing uncomfortable shoes to work one day, they might find a way to refer to it during a subsequent conversation. Or if a client mentions their disciplined flossing routine, a thoughtful communicator would compliment them on their commitment at a later date. This technique subtly conveys that the individual is a memorable star in the vast galaxy of people they’ve encountered.
Don’t Leave It to Chance
Politicians, known for their mastery of interpersonal skills, take Tracking to a scientific level. They maintain a mental (or digital) “black box” filled with details of their interactions with others. This box contains information about the last topic, enthusiasm, or event discussed with each person. When reconnecting with someone, they effortlessly bring up this information:
“Hello, Joe. How was your trip to Jamaica?” “Hey Sam, did your kid make the baseball team?” “Hi, Sally. Have you heard back from your client yet?” “Nice to hear from you, Bob. I trust you survived that Szechuan restaurant from our last conversation.”
By invoking the last major or minor event in someone’s life, they affirm that this person is the most important individual in their world at that moment.
The Power of Remembering Personal Achievements
One of the most potent forms of Tracking involves remembering anniversaries of personal achievements. Did your boss get promoted to their present position one year ago today? Did your client recently take their company public? Sending a one-year congratulations note can be far more memorable than a traditional birthday card.
Embracing Private Passions
Another aspect of effective Tracking is recognizing and acknowledging people’s private passions. For example, if you learned that your colleague is an avid hiker or your friend is passionate about a particular hobby, showing genuine interest in these aspects of their lives can strengthen your connection.
Consider the story of an editor named Carrie who was deeply passionate about her kitten named Cookie. Years later, during a chance encounter at a writer’s conference, a colleague inquired about Cookie, the now fully grown cat. Carrie’s astonished smile demonstrated the impact of this form of Tracking.
In conclusion, the art of Tracking involves keeping a mental record of details shared by others and using them as anchors for future interactions. When you remember and reference these details, you’re essentially telling others that they are the stars of your movie, and their lives hold significant importance to you. So, whether you’re in business, politics, or simply looking to foster closer connections, employing the power of Tracking can make you a memorable and cherished figure in the lives of those you encounter.