When little cats meet, they engage in a rather straightforward conversation starter: “And what do you do? Hmm?” With whiskers quivering and noses twitching, they silently judge each other based on the response they receive. It’s as if they’re saying, “I’m going to form an opinion of you once you answer.”
However, the dynamics change when it comes to big cats, the more mature and seasoned individuals in the social jungle. They never ask the direct question, “What do you do?” Instead, they opt for a more refined and subtle approach. By avoiding this direct inquiry, they convey a sense of depth and principled thinking, suggesting that a person’s true worth extends beyond their occupation.
This avoidance also highlights their sensitivity to the current corporate climate, which is rife with downsizing, rightsizing, and corporate shake-ups. The blunt job-related question can often induce uneasiness, not only for those in transition between jobs but also for those gainfully employed. Even individuals in seemingly ordinary or unconventional professions, like cadaver cutting or IRS collection, may feel uncomfortable when confronted with this question.
Moreover, millions of talented and accomplished women have chosen to dedicate their lives to motherhood. When faced with the abrasive query of “What do you do?”, they often experience a sense of guilt, fearing that their role as homemakers may be trivialized. Regardless of their accomplishments and the choices they’ve made, they may worry that their response will be reduced to a humble “I’m just a housewife.”
For these reasons, big cats, whether consciously or intuitively, steer clear of the “What do you do?” interrogation. This restraint prevents them from inadvertently belittling someone’s role or accomplishments and aligns them with a more sophisticated, high-flying crowd.
So, how can you discover more about someone’s life without resorting to this potentially uncomfortable question? Here’s where the magic phrase comes into play: “How do you spend most of your time?”
By asking this question, you gracefully sidestep the pitfalls of inquiring about someone’s job directly. It’s a considerate and open-ended query that invites individuals to share what matters most to them, whether it’s their career, personal interests, or family life. It transcends the narrow focus of employment, allowing people to define themselves by their passions, pursuits, and priorities.
Moreover, using “How do you spend most of your time?” can accommodate those who are eager to discuss their work. When someone replies with, “I spend all my time working,” it provides an opportunity for them to share more about their job, often leading to engaging conversations about their professional endeavors.
However, it also respects the boundaries of those who prefer not to dwell on their employment. It acknowledges that life is multifaceted, and people have diverse interests and commitments beyond the confines of their occupations.
In essence, this simple phrase empowers you to navigate conversations with finesse and courtesy. It reinforces your image as a thoughtful and considerate conversationalist, someone who values others for their uniqueness and appreciates the rich tapestry of their lives. So, the next time you meet someone new, remember to steer clear of “What do you do?” and opt for the more enlightening and gracious alternative: “How do you spend most of your time?”