Making the right first impression in networking can be the key to unlocking valuable relationships and opportunities. But what happens when the usual conversation starters fail you? When you’re at a business event or social gathering, and the person you want to meet isn’t offering any obvious connection points, how do you make your move? Enter the “Whoozat” technique—an effortlessly effective yet often underused method to break the ice and start a conversation.
Instead of relying on superficial comments or awkward small talk, this approach allows you to tap into curiosity and leverage the information around you to build meaningful connections. Here’s how to use the “Whoozat” technique to meet the people you want to meet, even when the usual tactics aren’t working.
The Scrutiny Fail: What If You Can’t Find a Comment to Make?
At networking events, parties, or even professional meetings, one of the first hurdles you face is breaking the ice with someone you don’t know. Usually, the approach is simple: comment on something about the person—their attire, accessories, or even their hairstyle. These physical attributes serve as easy points of connection that kickstart conversations and provide a sense of familiarity. However, what happens when you find yourself staring at someone, and there’s nothing to grab onto? No flashy cufflinks, distinctive watch, or quirky color on their shirt. There’s nothing that stands out or gives you an easy conversational opening.
This can be especially frustrating if you’re eyeing someone for a more purposeful connection—a potential business partner or someone whose insights could benefit your work. It might lead to hesitation without a clear way to start the conversation. Do you wait for them to speak first? Do you risk making a remark that feels forced? Worse yet, do you miss the chance to interact at all? This situation leaves you feeling stuck. Not only does it stall your attempt at making a meaningful introduction, but it also makes you feel as if you’ve wasted your time scanning someone’s outfit for clues that simply aren’t there.
At this point, many people give up or, worse, pull away completely. But here’s where the “Whoozat” technique comes in, offering a simple yet effective way to move forward when you feel paralyzed by the lack of obvious cues. Rather than getting stuck in your thoughts or fixating on what isn’t working, you take the approach of curiosity—a strategy that doesn’t require anything superficial to engage with. When you can’t find anything to comment on externally, you can find something to connect internally—by asking questions that open doors for deeper conversation.
The “Whoozat” Technique: Breaking the Ice with Curiosity
Whoozat is the most effective and least used meeting-people device (by non-politicians) ever contrived. Simply ask the party giver to make the introduction or pump for a few facts that you can immediately turn into icebreakers.
Technique #13 – Whoozat
The “Whoozat” technique is straightforward and brilliant in its simplicity. Instead of focusing on superficial physical details, you focus on those around you who might have more information. By engaging with the host or event organizer, you effectively shift the responsibility of starting a conversation to them, asking, “That person over there looks interesting. Who are they?” This method is elegant because it shows genuine interest without appearing overly inquisitive or intrusive.
There are several psychological factors at play here. First, people enjoy being asked about others—especially in social situations. When you ask the host or organizer about someone else, it subtly reinforces the idea that you’re a thoughtful participant who is genuinely interested in learning more about the people in the room. It’s a refreshing change from those focusing solely on their needs or concerns. Also, asking about others—whether or not the host knows them well—creates a collaborative atmosphere. You’re not just asking to break the ice; you’re opening up a conversation that allows you and the host to engage with someone who may be worth connecting with.
If you’re not seeking a formal introduction, simply inquiring about the person’s role or interests can provide valuable context. The host might say something like, “Oh, that’s Jane. She’s an architect and loves to travel to remote destinations.” Now, you have a small but significant detail that can be turned into a conversation starter. More importantly, you’ve already demonstrated curiosity about the person, which signals that you’re interested in more than just small talk.
Playing it Smart: Extracting Information without Interrupting the Flo.w
Sometimes, interrupting the host or organizer to ask about a guest is simply not feasible. The host may be amid a conversation, or you may not feel comfortable pulling them away from their duties. This doesn’t mean you’re out of luck using the “Whoozat” technique. You can still collect valuable information by adjusting your approach. Rather than demanding an introduction, you can simply ask the host or party-giver for enough detail to make your approach natural.
For example, you might say, “I’m not sure who that person is, but they seem interesting. Do you know what they do?” Or perhaps, “What’s their background?” You’re not asking for a formal introduction—you’re just seeking a nugget of information to give you a point to start from. The host often offers a small but telling detail, such as, “Oh, that’s Sarah. She works in real estate and is really into photography.”
With this new information, you’re in a stronger position to approach the person. You don’t need to have a deep, detailed conversation immediately. You simply need a bridge to make that first interaction less awkward. With the knowledge that Sarah loves photography, you can now move easily: “Hi, Sarah! I overheard that you’re a photographer. I’m always curious about different photography styles—what kind of work do you do?” By positioning yourself as someone who has already been clued into their interests, you remove the pressure from your interaction, and you instantly create a connection.
This approach respects the host’s time and doesn’t disrupt the event’s flow. It also prevents you from appearing too pushy or desperate. Removing the focus on needing an introduction makes the conversation feel more relaxed and organic.
Making the Connection: Turning Information into Icebreakers
Once you’ve gathered the necessary details about the person you’re interested in meeting, the next step is approaching. This is where many people fail because they either overthink the conversation or miss the opportunity entirely. But with the “Whoozat” technique, you’ve already done much of the work. The information you’ve gathered—about their job, hobbies, or interests—becomes the perfect icebreaker to use when approaching them.
Imagine you’ve learned that someone is an avid golfer, but you’ve never spoken to them before. Instead of scrambling to think of a conversation topic, you now have an easy entry point: “Hi! I hear you’re a golf enthusiast. I’ve always wanted to improve my game. Do you have any tips for someone just starting?” By using information directly tied to something the person cares about, you ensure the conversation feels engaging and relevant. You’re not relying on generic pleasantries like “How’s the weather?” or “What do you do?” Instead, you’re leading with something personalized, which makes your introduction feel more thoughtful and meaningful.
The beauty of this method is that it also builds rapport early on. When someone feels that you’ve taken the time to learn something about them, they’re more likely to open up and engage with you on a deeper level. Rather than awkwardly jumping between topics, the conversation flows more naturally, based on something the other person genuinely enjoys or values. This dynamic makes it easier to keep the conversation going and leads to a stronger connection overall.
Why “Whoozat” Works: The Psychology Behind the Technique
The effectiveness of the “Whoozat” technique can be attributed to several psychological principles that govern human interaction. First and foremost, people like to talk about themselves—particularly about their interests, passions, and experiences. By showing curiosity about someone’s hobbies, you are tapping into an area where they likely feel comfortable and confident. This makes the conversation feel less like an interrogation and more like a mutually beneficial exchange.
Moreover, you show that you’re thoughtful and considerate by seeking out information about a person through a third party (the host, for example). This approach shifts the focus away from your needs and places it on the other person, often leading to a more positive reception. The other person doesn’t feel they’re being immediately assessed or judged, which can happen when conversations are based on superficial comments or assumptions.
Another reason the “Whoozat” technique works so well is that it removes the pressure from you. You don’t feel as anxious about starting a conversation when you know what to say. You’ve removed the guesswork and made the situation easier for both parties. This alleviates the social anxiety many people face in networking situations, opening the door for more meaningful, long-lasting connections.
Finally, it’s important to note that this technique works in formal and informal settings. Whether at a conference or a casual dinner party, showing interest in a person’s background or passions is always a powerful conversation starter. The technique allows you to make connections without feeling like you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, enabling you to build relationships with ease and confidence.
Conclusion
The “Whoozat” technique is a powerful and underutilized tool in networking. Focusing on curiosity and leveraging the information around you allows you to initiate conversations with ease and confidence, even when typical icebreakers fail. Rather than relying on superficial observations, this method helps you engage with others more meaningfully, making it easier to form lasting connections.
Whether you’re attending a business event or a casual gathering, using the “Whoozat” technique ensures that every encounter has the potential to be both valuable and genuine. So, next time you’re in a room full of unfamiliar faces, don’t worry about striking up a conversation—let curiosity guide you to the people you want to meet.
This article is part of the How to Talk to Anyone Series based on Leil Lowndes’ book.