The romantic ideal of two people pairing off and staying together forever remains deeply embedded in cultural narratives. Yet, in today’s world, a growing number of individuals consciously choose singlehood. Particularly in Western societies, traditional institutions like marriage are waning, while living alone is on the rise.
According to the 2019 General Social Survey, over half of Americans aged 18 to 34 reported having no steady romantic partner. In Germany, more than 40% of households consist of single occupants. This phenomenon isn’t confined to the West—globally, the trend toward solo living is unmistakable.
Despite this surge in singlehood, social stigmas persist. A 2020 research paper titled “Are Single People a Stigmatized Group?” reveals that singles face discrimination, prejudice, and financial disadvantages—often earning less, paying more taxes, and incurring higher costs for social benefits and healthcare. But beyond these challenges lies a compelling truth: many singles relish their status.
Social psychologist Bella DePaulo challenges the assumption that marriage equates to greater happiness and health. She argues that such claims are “grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong.” Being single offers unique advantages—richer meaning, deeper pursuit of passions, and profound personal growth.
Is it better to be single? It depends. Some thrive in relationships and marriage, while others flourish alone. This article isn’t an argument against coupling or a defense of singlehood. Instead, it presents four reasons why choosing to be single can sometimes be the wiser, more fulfilling path.
1. Relationships and Marriage Won’t Necessarily Make Us Happier
For centuries, marriage has been positioned as the ultimate social contract—the foundation upon which families, communities, and civilizations have been built. From fairy tales to cultural traditions, it is portrayed as the definitive life milestone that confers meaning, stability, and happiness. The narrative is so deeply embedded that from a young age, individuals are inundated with the expectation to find “the one,” settle down, and start a family. This societal script suggests that a complete, successful life is synonymous with coupledom.
However, this prevailing ideology overlooks the complex realities beneath the surface. Single people are often caught in a double bind: not only are they viewed through a lens of social suspicion or pity, but their own self-worth can be undermined by internalizing these cultural standards. They are frequently assumed to be deficient, as if lacking a partner signals personal failure or an inability to commit.
This stigma can foster feelings of isolation and inadequacy, which complicate the experience of singlehood. Society’s insistence on coupling sometimes creates a “scarcity mindset,” where single individuals perceive themselves as missing out on an essential part of life, amplifying dissatisfaction regardless of their actual circumstances.
Empirical studies challenge the entrenched notion that marriage inherently enhances happiness. While the year of a wedding typically brings a surge in joy and optimism—a “honeymoon effect”—this spike is fleeting. Longitudinal research shows that over time, marital satisfaction often regresses to baseline levels or even declines. This trajectory can be attributed to various factors such as the pressures of shared responsibilities, financial stress, interpersonal conflicts, and the natural ebb of romantic passion.
Additionally, the presence of children, often idealized as a source of joy and purpose, has a surprisingly ambivalent impact on overall life satisfaction. Parenting introduces significant emotional and logistical challenges that can diminish day-to-day happiness, despite the deep meaning many derive from raising children.
Thus, marriage is neither a panacea nor a universal key to fulfillment. Happiness is a multifaceted, deeply personal state influenced by myriad variables beyond marital status.
The concept of being “single-at-heart,” as coined by social psychologist Bella DePaulo, reframes singlehood as a valid, fulfilling way of life. For many, the absence of a romantic partner allows for authenticity and alignment with their true selves—free from the compromises and expectations embedded in traditional coupledom. In this light, singlehood is not a lesser alternative but an equally legitimate path to happiness.
2. Cultivating Healthier Forms of Love
Romantic love, with its potent blend of passion, desire, and emotional intensity, captivates human imagination like no other form of connection. It dominates literature, art, and popular culture, often celebrated as the apex of human experience. However, this singular focus on romantic love obscures the richness and diversity of other relational forms that can be equally, if not more, nourishing.
Love is multifarious. Family love grounds us in kinship and shared history. Friendship builds bridges across differences and provides social support unconditioned by romance. Community ties embed us in a web of mutual care and belonging. These forms of love are often quieter, steadier, and less volatile than the whirlwind of romantic passion.
Philosophers throughout history have emphasized the unique value of friendship as a cornerstone of a tranquil and meaningful life. Epicurus, an ancient Greek thinker, extolled friendship as essential to happiness and tranquility. He was wary of sexual desire and romantic passion, viewing them as sources of unnecessary disturbance. Epicurus taught that unchecked passions could lead to jealousy, betrayal, and emotional suffering, disrupting the peace of the mind.
The ancient wisdom resonates today. Romantic relationships are frequently sites of intense emotional upheaval. The initial flames of lust and infatuation can blaze fiercely but often cool into cycles of jealousy, mistrust, and heartbreak. The psychological cost of such volatility is substantial, including anxiety, depression, and a sense of loss.
In contrast, friendships offer a “cooler” love—less tempestuous but more enduring. These relationships tend to develop gradually, anchored in shared experiences, trust, and mutual respect. They do not require the exclusivity or intensity of romance, allowing for emotional safety and consistent companionship.
For single people, the capacity to nurture a broad network of friendships and familial bonds provides an expansive emotional landscape. Without the demands of romantic exclusivity, singles can diversify their love, distributing attention and affection across multiple meaningful connections. This diversification fosters emotional resilience, social richness, and a greater sense of belonging.
Bella DePaulo’s research highlights that single individuals often spend more time cultivating friendships and familial relationships compared to their married counterparts, who may have more limited social bandwidth. This broader relational investment can yield deep fulfillment and a balanced, less turbulent emotional life.
By recognizing and valuing these “healthier” forms of love, singlehood emerges not as deprivation but as an opportunity for enriched human connection.
3. Freedom
One of the most profound and often underappreciated advantages of being single is the unparalleled freedom it affords. Freedom, in this context, extends beyond the cliché of having no obligations; it encapsulates autonomy over one’s choices, time, and identity. Unlike those in committed partnerships, singles navigate life without the need to negotiate or reconcile their desires with a partner’s preferences, which can be both liberating and empowering.
In romantic relationships, especially long-term ones like marriage, decision-making is a complex dance. Whether it’s choosing where to live, how to allocate finances, which social events to attend, or even what hobbies to pursue, every choice is filtered through a prism of compromise. While healthy partnerships embrace collaboration, they inevitably require concessions that dilute individual freedom.
Being single eliminates the need for such compromises. You wake up with the ability to craft your day purely on your terms—travel spontaneously, pursue demanding projects, or shift career paths without consultation or negotiation. This sovereignty over your schedule and priorities allows for a life sculpted entirely by personal vision.
Philosophically, this resonates with Albert Camus’ existentialist view of life’s inherent meaninglessness and the imperative to create our own purpose. Societal scripts often impose a narrow conception of a meaningful life—marriage, children, and domesticity as unavoidable milestones. Camus challenges this dogma, urging individuals to reject imposed meanings and author their own narratives.
In this light, singlehood is not a void but a canvas—free from societal expectations that tether many to conventional life trajectories. It invites exploration and radical self-determination.
The story of Nikola Tesla embodies this freedom. A brilliant inventor and lifelong bachelor, Tesla consciously chose celibacy, believing that romantic entanglements would distract him from his scientific work. His singular dedication enabled groundbreaking innovations that shaped modern technology. While not everyone aspires to Tesla’s extreme, his life illustrates how singlehood can magnify one’s ability to devote undivided attention and energy to personal passions.
Research supports this notion. Bella DePaulo’s studies reveal that singles tend to prioritize meaningful work and cultivate greater autonomy than married individuals, who often balance personal ambitions against family responsibilities.
Freedom, therefore, is not merely the absence of obligations but the presence of agency—the capacity to live authentically and pursue what imbues life with significance on one’s own terms.
4. Self-Sufficiency
Singlehood cultivates a vital skill often overshadowed by cultural emphasis on relational interdependence: self-sufficiency. At its core, self-sufficiency means the ability to fulfill one’s emotional, financial, and practical needs independently—without reliance on a partner.
Contemporary society often propagates the narrative that individuals are incomplete without a significant other, that we are “halves” seeking to merge into a whole. This myth fosters dependence and perpetuates a sense of inadequacy in singles, pressuring them to find “completion” through romance.
However, many singles challenge this notion, affirming that wholeness is an internal state. Happiness and contentment arise from cultivating a rich inner life, personal resilience, and the capacity to meet one’s own needs.
A partner cannot fill existential emptiness or guarantee joy. If romantic attachment were a panacea, all coupled individuals would be fulfilled, and all singles would be lonely and miserable—which is demonstrably false.
The compulsive quest for romantic happiness can resemble addiction. Some cycle through relationships, chasing transient highs but never attaining lasting satisfaction. This pattern underscores the futility of relying on others for emotional completeness.
Singlehood offers an alternative paradigm: taking full responsibility for one’s happiness and well-being. This involves developing emotional intelligence, financial independence, and practical life skills.
The benefits of self-sufficiency are manifold. Firstly, it creates reliability—because contentment is anchored within, less subject to the vicissitudes of external relationships. Secondly, it is economically prudent; the fewer external dependencies, the more affordable one’s happiness becomes. Thirdly, it prepares one for life’s inevitable realities, including solitude and loss.
Solitude is often feared as loneliness, but when embraced, it becomes a powerful space for self-discovery and growth. Jean-Paul Sartre’s observation, “If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company,” poignantly emphasizes the importance of cultivating comfort in one’s own presence.
In essence, self-sufficiency transforms solitude from a dreaded state into a sanctuary—a place where one thrives, unshaken by external circumstances. This inner strength fosters resilience and a profound sense of peace, making singlehood not a state of lack but one of profound empowerment.
Conclusion
Choosing to be single is not a retreat from life but a deliberate embrace of freedom, authenticity, and self-mastery. While society often champions marriage and romantic partnerships as the ultimate path to fulfillment, the realities of happiness are far more complex and individualized. Singlehood offers unique opportunities to cultivate meaningful connections beyond romance, pursue passions without compromise, and develop deep self-sufficiency that anchors true contentment. Ultimately, whether single or partnered, the most vital pursuit is living a life aligned with one’s values and true self—a pursuit where being single can be not only a valid choice but a profoundly rewarding one.