In the realm of ancient kingdoms and the arid lands of history, a tale of a dried-up lake exists in the kingdom of Chu. The prolonged drought had left the fish in the pond grappling with adversity, their survival hanging by a thread as they desperately wriggled through the remaining mud puddles. Within this hardship, Zhuangzi, the philosopher, observed something peculiar—the fish smeared each other with slime and exchanged saliva to aid their fellow creatures in their quest for survival.
But as much as Zhuangzi admired their solidarity, he couldn’t help but ponder whether it would be preferable for the lake to brim with water, allowing the fish to swim freely without the need for such drastic measures. This sentiment resonates with our modern-day individualism, where we often look back nostalgically at the degree of human solidarity and community of times past.
The Rise of Individualism
Individualism is often celebrated as a hallmark of modern society, but it hasn’t always been so. In the past, people’s lives were intertwined with the needs and responsibilities of their communities. The survival of the group was paramount, and individuals played roles that contributed to the collective well-being. From ancient tribes to early agricultural societies, every individual’s contribution was vital—whether through farming, craftsmanship, or defense. Social structures were designed around cooperation, shared tasks, and collective resources.
This interdependence was not a choice but a necessity. Without it, survival was uncertain. However, as society evolved, particularly in the last few centuries, technological advances began to shift the landscape. The industrial revolution, followed by the digital age, started to loosen the chains of necessity that tied people together. Machines could do the work of multiple people, and economic systems began to create wealth on a scale never seen before. With greater wealth came greater autonomy.
In modern society, particularly in developed countries, this autonomy is at its peak. With the advancement of technology, many basic needs can be fulfilled without human interaction. Consider the internet: people can order food, clothes, or even hire personal services with the click of a button. At a broader level, the development of social systems such as universal healthcare and pensions has allowed individuals to live independently, without the need to rely on family or close-knit communities for survival. Technology, particularly automation and artificial intelligence, has reduced the need for collaboration, thus fostering an environment where people can thrive without deep human connections.
Yet, while this freedom offers undeniable benefits, it also introduces challenges. As the need for close relationships has decreased, so too has the sense of community and shared responsibility. Human connections have become optional, not essential. This shift in societal norms is particularly prominent in Western cultures, where self-reliance is emphasized over communal living.
Solitude as a Source of Freedom
Solitude, once considered a form of isolation, has taken on a new, more positive connotation in today’s world. It is no longer a condition that people must endure due to necessity, but rather a choice—one that offers profound benefits for personal growth, creativity, and peace. In fact, for many, solitude becomes a sanctuary, offering a much-needed break from the constant distractions and demands of modern life.
There is a distinct pleasure in the quiet space of solitude. In a world dominated by constant connectivity, the ability to retreat into one’s own mind and environment becomes a luxury. Solitude grants the freedom to engage in deep thought and reflection, without the pressure to cater to the needs or expectations of others. It allows individuals to tune out the noise of society and tune into their own inner world.
Moreover, solitude fosters creativity. Many great thinkers, artists, and writers throughout history have thrived in solitude. It’s in these quiet moments that new ideas are born, and personal epiphanies occur. Whether through writing, painting, or simply meditating, being alone allows a person to fully immerse themselves in their craft, unburdened by external influences.
However, solitude does not just nurture creativity; it also encourages self-reflection. In these moments, individuals can reassess their values, question their beliefs, and re-evaluate their goals. Solitude provides the mental space necessary for personal development, as it forces people to confront their own thoughts without the distractions of social obligations or external validation. It becomes a powerful tool for self-awareness and growth.
But perhaps the most profound aspect of solitude is the liberation it offers. Without the constant need to answer to others, individuals can act based on their own desires and needs. They are not constrained by social norms or expectations. In solitude, freedom thrives, and people can live in ways that feel authentic to them—free from the influence of others.
Relationships: Optional, Not Essential
As society becomes increasingly individualistic, relationships, once an integral part of survival, are now optional rather than essential. In the past, relationships were a cornerstone of human existence. Marriage, family ties, and communal living were necessary for practical reasons, such as raising children, ensuring financial stability, and providing emotional support. These relationships were integral to one’s survival, and people often entered them because they were compelled by societal norms or economic necessity.
Today, however, these relationships have become more about choice than necessity. In modern societies, particularly those in the West, people can live alone, thrive professionally, and pursue personal happiness without needing the traditional family structure or social networks. The advent of technology has made it easier to maintain some semblance of social interaction while still allowing individuals to lead largely independent lives.
The shift in societal norms has made people more selective in their relationships. In a world where people don’t need each other to survive, there’s less of an incentive to form bonds with others unless they are meaningful. The idea of “needing” people has given way to the freedom to “choose” people—whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or professional networks. As a result, people have the freedom to seek out relationships that genuinely enrich their lives, rather than feeling obligated to maintain connections for the sake of conformity or societal expectations.
This freedom is particularly evident in romantic relationships. In previous generations, marriage was often a practical arrangement—an institution that provided both emotional and financial stability. Today, marriage is increasingly seen as an optional choice, one that people enter only when they genuinely feel it aligns with their values and desires. People are now more likely to remain single, not out of necessity but because they appreciate the freedom and autonomy that singlehood offers.
Moreover, friendships, too, have become less about obligation and more about personal enrichment. With the rise of social media and digital communication, people can maintain connections without the need for physical presence. Friendships are no longer a survival tool but a source of joy and mutual growth. People are free to engage with those who share their interests and values, creating more authentic connections that bring them happiness rather than the stress of obligatory socializing.
The Dangers of Overdependence
While the freedom from dependence on others is liberating, it also carries some risks. One of the primary dangers of increased self-sufficiency is the growing isolation that can result from it. While technology has made it easier to live independently, it has also made human interaction more scarce. Many people now live in environments where socializing is optional rather than essential, and this shift has profound consequences for mental health.
The rise of loneliness in individualistic societies is a growing concern. Although people can now live without the need for constant human interaction, many find themselves struggling with feelings of isolation. This is especially true in urban areas, where people often live alone and are disconnected from their communities. While technology facilitates virtual connections, these interactions often lack the depth and emotional resonance of face-to-face conversations. As a result, many people find themselves longing for more meaningful connections.
Moreover, the ability to retreat into solitude can sometimes be a form of avoidance. In a world where it’s easy to disconnect, some individuals may choose isolation as a way of avoiding difficult emotions or uncomfortable situations. While solitude can be enriching, it can also become a crutch, preventing people from engaging with the world around them and addressing their emotional needs. When human interaction becomes an option rather than a necessity, it becomes all too easy to ignore the value of genuine human connection.
At the same time, the very autonomy that technology offers has created a generation of people who are less likely to endure the discomfort of social obligations. In earlier times, even unpleasant social interactions were tolerated because they were necessary for survival. Today, people can opt out of interactions they find unappealing, whether it’s a family gathering or a professional meeting. While this freedom is liberating, it also means that individuals can avoid confronting difficult or uncomfortable emotions, which may ultimately hinder personal growth.
The Pursuit of Authenticity
The greatest benefit of not needing people is the opportunity it affords to pursue authenticity. When we are no longer bound by the need for approval or the pressure to conform, we are free to become our true selves. Authenticity is the foundation of personal fulfillment, and in a society where social expectations often dictate our behavior, the ability to live without the weight of those expectations is liberating.
Philosophers such as Nietzsche and Sartre have long argued for the importance of authenticity in human life. Nietzsche’s concept of the “Overman” is a call to transcend societal norms and embrace a life of self-creation. For Nietzsche, the key to personal liberation is breaking free from the constraints of social conformity and creating one’s own values. In this sense, the joy of not needing others is about forging our own path—living according to our own standards rather than those imposed upon us by society.
Similarly, Sartre’s famous declaration that “Hell is other people” speaks to the way in which others’ opinions can trap us in a cycle of conformity. In Sartre’s view, the gaze of others can become a prison, one that prevents us from fully realizing our potential. By choosing to live authentically—without the need for validation—we free ourselves from this cycle. In this sense, the joy of not needing others is not about rejecting relationships altogether, but about embracing the freedom to live without the fear of judgment.
When we live authentically, we are no longer beholden to the opinions and expectations of others. This gives us the freedom to shape our lives as we see fit—whether through pursuing a career that fulfills us, living in a way that aligns with our values, or simply enjoying life on our own terms. Authenticity becomes the key to living a life of purpose and fulfillment, free from the weight of societal pressures and the constant need for approval.
Conclusion
Not needing people does not negate the importance of human connection, which plays a significant role in most individuals’ well-being. Instead, it grants the freedom to embrace solitude when desired. We can associate with others, form friendships, and engage in intimate relationships, but with the freedom to walk away and enjoy the peace of solitude when we choose.
In a world where we can fend for ourselves, we have the liberty to pursue our own paths, unburdened by the necessity of constant human interaction. This freedom, while not without its challenges, can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life for those who appreciate the joys of not needing people.